Delia just posted a new HD video for our members of us being watched as we make out and have sex with each other in the woods wearing pantyhose and legwarmers:
If you want to pretend you’re spying on us outside ripping open each other’s pantyhose, sucking and fucking up against a tree and you’re already a member, click here.
Remember: by joining my site you’re instantly a member to ALL of our sites!
Did I really just spend hours on the phone with our awesome friend AmberLily? OF COURSE I DID!! Who in their right mind wouldn’t? So my nudie pic of the day is of her, exposed at a Dr. Suzy party to all the swinging partygoers, riding on a sybian:
It’s good to have a close, sexy friend who sends me pictures of my favorite pair of perky little titties while we talk on the phone. Not everybody is as lucky as I am! I’m pretty stoked she let me post this up for you folks.
Yesterday was SO SWEET! The sky was super blue, it was warm . . . and I successfully took the day off except for two hours or so (woops).
I usually only see stuff in the paper that I want to do AFTER it’s already happened / is too late, but this time everything came together for Delia and I to go to a carnival and RIDE THE RIDES together for the first time in over eleven years together!
We only went on three rides, but it was perfect!
Yes, I am only a head (and turtleneck) taller than the minimum height to get on the big-kid rides:
We went on the Cliff Hanger while it was still daylight, bumper cars that got our butts wet, and THE INVERTER at dusk which was the scariest ride available in our small town. I screamed and cackled through the whole thing.
In an homage to “The Inverter”, we attempted to capture me hanging upside down on the ladder up to my loft:
It wound up being a lot harder than I thought it would be and I was afraid to let go, both because I didn’t want to bust my head open and because it hurt my thighs and feet to try to hang all my weight on the ladder steps and sides that way.
Actually, it was really hard for me to even climb up the backside of the ladder, even with Delia’s help and spotting. It was a fun challenge, though, that quickly warmed up my entire upper back and arms as I had Delia put on my socks and take them off while I was clinging to the ladder with my sweaty hands in preparation to attempt the (highly impractical and uncomfortable) inversion and dismount.
I was supposed to take a day off yesterday but I didn’t do it right plus had a fat head-&-jaw-ache so I’m kind of trying again today.
We did have fun yesterday going to the car wash and vacuuming out its insides together. Well, *I* had fun, anyway. I like manageable time-limited things like that.
A very small reminder that I shouldn’t even try to walk and chew gum at the same time:
I was about to get into the car — just started reaching for the door handle — when the lady caught my attention and waved at me.
A normal brain could manage my left hand’s attempt at opening the car door AND my right hand’s sudden call to dutifully wave back. But MY brain isn’t able to wave with one hand while opening a car door with another while (and this is important) suddenly SMILING/attempting to successfully interact in one of the most basic ways humans can with each other. Nor could my brain figure out it’s own limitations and tell my left hand to stop reaching because aforementioned brain’s not up to the task, so my left hand kept reaching but not finger-opening, grasping, SLOWING DOWN or anything.
So I just swung my left fist HARD straight into the car door handle. Which also happens to just be a jagged little wedge of plastic because the handle is actually now just the REMNANT of a handle because it broke off because that’s how we roll, in our old brittle plastic-trimmed economy car.
My brain was totally competent and socially insecure enough then to try not to let my face register the pain I felt in my hand so the lady wouldn’t wonder why my face smiled and then had a sudden and spontaneous paingasm cross over it . I just tried to act normal until I got into the car and started whispering a steady stream of curses to myself.
And ***NO*** it’s not because I was on drugs. I was completely unintoxicated (AND EVEN HUNGRY) at the time.
I’m not complaining, though. I wouldn’t trade this injury for one-less hand to manage for a million bucks!! A slightly smarter brain might be nice, though. But only if I could customize my enhancements very selectively.
Some kids (in their early thirties) were standing around oohing and aahing over some dude’s new tablet’s Windows 8-like OS so I screamed at them about the decline of civilization and that we’re interfacing with technology and data in INCREASINGLY STUPID AND INEFFICIENT WAYS and IT WILL BE OUR DOWNFALL.
Make your brain operate more like your (other) computer. DO NOT make your computer act more like your illiteracy and unwillingness to learn. GOT IT?????!!!!!!!?????????
I have PMS. Swipe THIS, youth of today!
Seriously though. It’s like one step forward BUT CAN YOU TAKE IT BACK THREE STEPS AND MAKE IT STUPIDER FOR ME WITH A SHINY PICTURE LOGO THINGY WIDGET? Let’s forget about the ALPHABET and being able to arrange things simply in ALPHEBITIZED LISTS, and let’s start speaking to one another via pictograms and exaggerated hand gestures because we can’t be bothered to learn any language other than second grade English. Let’s throw away this keyboard with all of the letters and handy directional keys on it because I PREFER TO SWIPE MY HANDS THROUGH LIGHTS IN THE AIR TO REARRANGE LETTERS INTO WORDS – THE GREATER THE RANGE OF MOTION ABOVE MY HEAD AND HIGHER CARDIOVASCULAR INTENSITY, THE MORE TIME DYSLEXIC TOM CRUISE IN MISSION IMPOSSIBLE HAS TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THEY SPELL. THAT’S THE FUTURE AND I CAN’T WAIT TO ENTER IT WITH GOOGLE SAFE SEARCH; NO PORN, PHEW!
I’m serious, that’s what the world is coming to if we let civilization continue to destroy itself. AND THAT’S WHY I DON’T BELIEVE IN DEMOCRACY, OR CAPITALISM SOMETIMES BECAUSE THAT’S WHY PEOPLE ARE MANUFACTURING AMAZING TECHNOLOGIES TO FUNCTION IN RIDICULOUSLY STUPID WAYS. And stupid cars that honk when you lock and unlock them. Whatever team of assholes invented that, I want their heads on a platter along with people in hearing range of me who lock and unlock their stupid honking cars like that like my new fucking neighbor.
Whatever. It’s not like I’m sitting here curing cancer. I’m the stupidhead who can’t even open a car door.
I’m getting so old. It’s really embarrassing how I came over at them and practically slapped their hands for responding positively to something other than an abacus. How can I help it, though, when things that used to take three rapid keystrokes now require three swipes and five clicks?
I have a nudie pic or ten thousand to post, but instead am thinking I should write this small book:
My Enormous Credit Card Debt: Privilege, Birthright, MANDATE
To be followed by the sequel called:
My Eating Problem: Privilege, Birthright, MANDATE
Punctuated by the this little missive:
My Drug Problem: Privilege, Birthright, MANDATE
with the encore:
My Beautiful Wife, My Enabler (or “Get Me Another Pop-Tart, Will You Hun . . . and Another Slice of Your Delicious Quiche While You’re At It Before You Go Upstairs to Sell Your Precious Cum Online So We Can Pay Our Rent and the IRS and Credit Card Bills and Have Enough Left Over For My Pop Tarts and Drugs?”)
The worst part is I’m not sure if I’m exaggerating or just being painfully honest.
I know. My problem is that I’m just too fucking lucky.
Our awesome friend Sabrina ponders something we all wonder:
— Sabrina Swings (@SabrinaSwings) May 10, 2013
If I were smart I’d just delete this and start over.
We took a walk today and looked at all kinds of mosses and lichens and amazing primitive growths.
Delia said this is a moss CLUB:
It rained delicate needles on us. We heard one clap of thunder.
We saw fairy slippers, a Downy Woodpecker, Hooker’s ground cones, brilliant orange mold, fairy tables, “Indian” Pipes, Candy Flowers, and other enchantments.
It is warm and rainy and spooky-tropical, especially at twilight when I look out the cabin window and can see Madrone in bloom, glowing yellow in the duskiness.
Western Washington is like what I imagine a haunted version of Hawaii might be like. Unfortunately I’ve never been to Hawaii so I can’t make an accurate comparison.
A raven made deep, throaty cackling sounds while we wandered, seeing faces in unexpected shadowy spots:
I finally got to play with some pens Shrdlu & Lord G. gifted me way back when. Having thicker, fancier paper makes a huge difference with the thicker, fancier fountain pen! I’m afraid I polluted my gemlike bottle of red ink with some green, though, since I’m not adept at filling the fancy pen with ink.
Here’s where I wiped off my dip pens & such:
A paper towel is fine for wiping off my glass dip pen, but not so good for metal nibs, especially a calligraphy nib, because little fibers from the paper get stuck in there (duh). But it makes a pretty place for the colors to bleed together.
Thanks again, Shrdlu & Lord G for the lovely writing implements!
You can’t see it, but I marked my forehead and chin with the sign for Gemini in yellow, which looks kind of like the number eleven which is today (and a totally cool number). Not that any of that matters or means anything.
Even without believing astrology, I like the symbols and paying attention to the moon. Adding elements of mysticism and symbology to tracking lights in the sky and days of the week is fun and useful to me because it reminds me to contemplate different parts of life and thinking and play with colors and not get mired too much in one way of being or part of my body or seeing the world. It reminds me to shift and travel through different ways of thinking and approaching life. Even if that just means TODAY I’M GOING TO MAKE THE YELLOW GLASS LIGHT UP WITH A CANDLE. Or pretend I have certain powers or strengths I don’t normally use or focus on.
The system for doing these things may be totally arbitrary; I don’t care. I could make up my own system of bullshit (and I do have many bullshit systems), but astrology is a kind of language lots of people enjoy; I like being able to understand a little of what people are speaking about it. It’s an enduring part of pop culture, and meaningful because of just that. Of course I laugh with a kind of fright when I overhear people talking VERY SERIOUSLY about getting their cat’s natal chart drawn up, but whatever.
At the very least it provides me with inspiration for my daily nudie pics, and I loved the way Moon in Pisces turned out.
Now I’m going to take a shower and hope this yellow marker washes off my face.
What are your thoughts on astrology? Do you enjoy reading about it or elements of it? Do you want me to incorporate more astrology, tarot, ritual, etc. in my stuff? Do you believe in any of it? What are your signs (if you know)?