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Archive for March, 2002

PLACES I’VE HAD CUM ON ME IN THE PAST WEEK

Wouldnt *you* like to know!!!

TOOTHLESS

I’m so happy!! I just got home from getting my LAST wisdom tooth sawed in half, twisted, pried, ground, and yanked out of my jaw!! The lady dentist passed on doing the extraction herself, showing me the x-ray and pointing out, “see how your tooth is totally sideways? There are some extractions I just won’t do . . . and yours is one of them.” I was glad because I wanted the dentist I have a crush on to pull it (my tooth) anyway. The lady dentist asked if it was okay if she watched. Fine with me! As long as you hold my hand through the whole procedure! Once I had her hand in my clutch there was no way she was getting away . . . I don’t think she was quite prepared for my iron grip.

What fun!!! Needless to say, I won’t be talking dirty or sucking any of my dildos on cam anytime soon — going to let my jaw and toothhole heal for a few days at least. It will make for a really pleasant birthday on Sunday when I turn a whopping twenty-nine years old. Houseboy day. Yay!!! Even though *I* will be orally challenged, I don’t plan on my pussy suffering for it. Oh rats!!! That’s right. If everything happens on schedule I’ll be bleeding for my birthday. Hmmm. Fuck.

SOME WOMEN’S HISTORY

Watching tv story on trying to find the Afghan girl who was pictured on the cover of National Geographic seventeen years ago. I find it interesting that they didn’t want to linger on shots of her older, uglier face. Tsk. They tried to just stick with the eyes. Hmmm. This chick is MY age. I feel pretty fucking lucky.

ENERGY VAMPIRISM

The internet is sucking my productivity right out of me. Now that I have a working modem again, I’ve spent today doing really productive shit like watching, “Sabrina the Teenaged Witch” and doing serious introspection into my vampire self. I’m so relieved to discover that I’m Lestat.

You are Lestat. The Brat Prince of Vampires. You’re great and you know it.

Find your inner vampire.

MY ABSENCE

Had some major MSN broadband modem bullshit problems . . . no internet access over the past couple days. Sigh. DSL is great as long as there are no problems. But when there are problems, WATCH OUT!!! Those MSN bastards will blame everything on you and your machine instead of their own crappy service and equipment. Sigh sigh sigh.

MEDIA BULLSHIT

My eye is always looking out for ways that TV (daytime TV especially) is more of a threat than porn. So it’s 4:00 in the afternoon on a Saturday and right on normal non-cable TV I just watched a scene showing a little girl wandering through the house looking for her mommy. She hears fighting behind a closed door, opens it and sees her mom with her shirt ripped open and a bad guy standing between her legs manhandling her while mommy pleads, “please don’t hurt me!” A near rape ensues, little girl spots gun and picks it up as the guy and mommy notice her standing there — she tells him not to hurt her mommy and the guy snaps mommy’s neck.

And porn is sooooo bad. Whatever. This is unbelievably disturbing to me.

Other things on my mind: Anna Nicole Smith (so glad she got the money). The Venus of Willendorf vs. the Memphis Belle. The pleasure of meeting another cool viewer who loves listening to American Routes. Droopy, if you read this will you email me?

Oh yeah, it might be hard to read since blog*spot seems to be screwed . . . hmmm. . .

AT LEAST I HAVE A VIEW

Ugh. I can’t do anything as fast as I want to. Seems like everything sucks HOURS of unproductive time where the most I can hope to achieve is only 25% of the quality I hoped for and everything’s a compromise. I’m talking about my stupid digital camcorder I’ve avoided touching just because of this anticipated aggravation. Sigh.

Oh well. Here’s a picture of my view. I’m ready to throw the camcorder out the window.

I should get my brains in order and stop being so pissy. Yesterday I got to hold my then two hour old absolutely perfect baby niece in my arms. I had lunch with The First Noelle and her sister.

But I still feel pissy and stymied and distressed. My brow is so furrowed it looks like my forehead is etched with fleshy irrigation canals.

FIVE DAYS OF TRASHY WOMEN’S HISTORY

So I’ve fallen down on my self-appointed “job” of celebrating women’s history month with celebrations of the seamier side of women’s history. I’m catching up now with these five history factoids relevent to women and smut for you that I got from the World Sex Records site:

Earliest Female Nude Sculpture



First Girlie Mags

Wow!! What a change in image, eh? Not sure which bitch is a less realistic representation of the average woman, the old Venus or the new? When George Petty created his pinup girls for Esquire, “He often shrunk the head and elongated the torso and legs to heighten the effect.” (see this page for more). What “effect” are we talking about here?

First Magazine Exposure of Pubic Hair

Most Famous Female Nude Photographer

was considerably anti-porn and one of those attempting to “free” the female form from the evil clutches of libidinous sensuality.

Oldest Woman to Become a Sex Symbol:

My heroine all decked out in that good old American Spirit

(the theme of Women’s History month dontcha know)!!!

TOO COLD TO MOVE

I’m so cold I have no motivation to do anything except for put my hands on warm things . . . on the space heater . . . between my legs . . . just don’t want to do ANYTHING.

But it’s been such a good day — got a whole bunch of really cool things . . . a letter from my grandma, a cd of rare live Cowboy Junkies tracks, an email with links to see pics and video clips of my debauchery in Las Vegas and an email from zancro with one of the photos from his bedroom shoot with me.

Oh, and I just got an email from The First Noelle saying there’s trouble in paradise with her boyfriend. And I can’t help being excited about it . . . I mean, I’m sorry things aren’t working out with them, but I’m excited about the prospect of ummm. . . comforting her? Yeah, that’s it. I can’t help it . . . seeing pictures and videos of me with girls in Vegas . . . kissing, feeling, licking . . . I am fucking craving some female companionship right now.