TastyTrixie.com

Archive for August, 2006

BURN ONE DOWN
The days are getting shorter (hooray!) so I figure it’s time to crack out the candles. Yesterday I lit a limited edition “Naughty or Nice” votive from Dark Candles

Later, forgetting how “fire” works, I set my arm on fire when reaching over the lit candle. Fortunately the only damage was a singed cardigan — nary a hair melted on my actual forearm.

Which reminds me. I signed up to promote a Sugar Daddy personals site, so thought it best to research it from the inside out. Most of the men with ads there seem unable to grasp the Sugar Daddy concept and instead are treating it as a regular dating site with warnings in their profile like, “NO PROS NEED APPLY” and compelling selling points such as, “has a Medical degree so I know all the right places.”

My “favorite” tagline today is, “if your hot, I’m looking to get burned”.

Snort.

LIFE LESSONS
My brain doesn’t retain much, but the few “rules” it’s glommed onto really STICK to me. Perhaps I should share some of them every so often:

*Wax can really fuck up your plumbing; never clean your candleholders in a sink in any manner that will result in candle WAX going down the drain. Never.

*Yeast likes sugar, glycerine = sugar therefore women should avoid sexual lubricants containing glycerine (and avoid putting sugary foodstuffs on their vulvas or in their vaginas).

*The shortest distance between two points is a straight line.

FLUCK
So. Up for another boring blog entry?

It would cost at least $1200 to repair our car (the head has to be replaced or something like that – much damage done by the busted timing belt) and we’d still have to get brakes put on, etc. Sooooooooooo . . . yeah. Guess we’ll be driving the gas-guzzling truck for awhile.

And we have no idea when our special-order hot water heater will arrive so it’s now been five days without hot water. Rock on.

I’m going to have to spend some time trying to find the title for the car — could take ten minutes, could take ten hours. You never know, but I’m not looking forward to it at all. I’m going to sign it over to our mechanic (which he’ll use as a project car for his kid) in trade for work on our truck or whatever down the road. Too bad I didn’t listen to Tucker who advised against investing $500-some in fixing the car LAST month. But honestly the look on his face today, the “I-told-you-so” look? It was really cute and almost worth the money to see him grinning righteously.

I’m a little sad about losing this car, though. It’s the only car I’ve ever paid cash for, my buttrock Plymouth Laser. Rest in Peace, my royal blue bitch, and rock on into eternity.

LOST GIRLS

Here’s a book I *must* have (and those of you who also respond to some of my favorite taboos will want it too): Lost Girls by Alan Moore and Melinda Gebbie. Alan Moore is the same graphic novelist responsible for V for Vendetta (though he hates the movie version) and he’s calling Lost Girls “porn” to avoid the whole art versus porn debate. Woohoo!!

Here’s an article about Moore and Lost Girls, and here are some more items I recommend for fall (with only two of them being “new” things to make you seem “in the know”).

WOWIE!
You’re dying to hear more about our big trip to the big apple, aren’t you? It’s time I started delivering a few details so here’s our all-time favorite photo of Tucker and I together:

A closer look at the hayseeds in the big city:

We promised ourselves we wouldn’t get suckered into buying the mandatorily-posed photo, but we found this image of ourselves so irresistible — so ENCHANTING — that we simply had to bring the photo home to scan and share our Manhattan magic with you. Doesn’t Tucker look like an Iowa farm boy who got talked into leaving his pregnant wife behind to hit the big city with the town tramp?

It was actually midday (not sunset) when we did our touring of the mighty phallus. Funny, we’ve never even gone to the top of the Space Needle, and I’ve lived here (near Seattle) my whole entire life but we felt compelled to make the Empire State Building our one bonafide touristy experience while we were in New York.

Also funny: looking at this photo of the two of us, reflecting on how concerned I was in preparing for our trip that we’d look like hicks in NYC. Once we were there I didn’t once feel out of place, and that strikes me as pretty humorous since we clearly do LOOK . . . uh, like hicks. I guess it was just too hot for me to care, or because we didn’t go anywhere super-fancy or trendy we were never entirely surrounded by the chic set. I don’t know, but surprisingly enough I felt really comfortable there, and not just because we spent all of our time in tourist traps surrounded by similarly garbed yokels.

SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT
I wish I had something sexy to talk about, but our car just broke down again. And we have no hot water. And our dog has a fucking tumour on her tail, needs shots AND to have her teeth cleaned and a dead one pulled. So I’m feeling a teensy bit glum and poor, and not at all sexually-oriented at this moment.

There are very few things I feel like I *need*, but my hot water bottle to warm up my feet is one of them. I know it’s not a survival necessity, but yeah. The lack of hot water I can deal with on all but one front; I don’t care if I can’t take a shower for a few days, I don’t care if we can’t do the dishes . . . all I care about is that my feet are warm.

We’re also almost totally out of pictures and videos to update our sites and that amps up the pressure a lot (since we have three sites to update each week), to the point where I feel a little depressed and overwhelmed and am having a hard time prioritizing things or feeling positive we can accomplish everything, so I feel like smothering myself in blankets and nutella and just lapsing into a coma.

The good news is we have a date planned next month to get together with Ron to have him shoot some hardcore video of us together and I’m super excited about that (both the process and the results). I’ve also been enjoying planning to get ahead again on our content in general and looking forward to all the shoots we *could* do; the stress comes in though when it’s down to the wire, we have to update NOW, the house is a fucking messy pit of disaster, and all of that combined can make last-minute shoots really unpleasant.

Oh well. It will get better soon.

GAH!
In spite of a bunch of minor crises popping up, including our hot water heater freaking out and our dog escaping / becoming “lost”, we’ve had some patches of sunshine today. Tucker had almost a week’s worth of spunk stored up, after all, making for a feverishly hot fuck session this afternoon since his show was interrupted by our water heater emergency.

So. Right now we have no running water, but the good news is that someone a couple blocks away called to say they had our dog. SHE called to say it, and she said it with a hot-ass accent. Since Tucker was still roaming the streets on his bike, I was the one who got to go to their fancy-ass house and meet the lovely LOVELY couple to retrieve our dog. Oh Nico, you sure do know how to pick them!

Right now I just want to EMPTY MY BRAIN. The deal with our hot water heater is that it, like most things in this house, was installed incompetently in a manner that defies logic so there is no way to turn off the water AT the heater, so when he discovered that it wouldn’t stop running and was leaking, Tucker had to turn off ALL THE WATER TO OUR HOUSE. And it’s a Saturday and no one wants to come and help us so we have to wait until tomorrow which means Delia will probably have to reschedule her show.

I need television NOW.