TastyTrixie.com

Archive for September, 2006

SEE YOU TOMORROW!
We’re about to go out the door for an overnighter in Seattle where we’ll attend a small gathering of folks in “the industry” before spending the night at my sister’s house and visiting my squishy nephew. We’ll be home tomorrow! Maybe late . . .

LAST NIGHT
Last night after we turned off the TeeVee Tucker started to climb on top of me and I pushed him away with an “I’m too tired honey!” After he dutifully dismounted and rolled over, I started thinking about what I was missing. I started throbbing and realized that though I *was* tired, I wasn’t actually *too* tired.

So I turned over to spoon him and reached around to cradle his cock in my hand before I started stroking it. I still had my earplugs in when I got on top of him and we started fucking. I took them out right before I came so that I could hear the sounds he was making. After I collapsed on him in a post-orgasmic heap, we started up again, and I came again. Finale: doggy-style from a variety of angles in a variety of rhythms culminating in his climax.

I’m so glad I wasn’t too tired.

*****

Today we picked up the minivan from my mom’s boyfriend. When we got there he was armoralling the tires. You would not believe all of the little painstaking details he tended to before basically giving us this auto. We are lucky little fucks, that’s for sure, and I am so thankful to have a reliable vehicle with room for our dog and all of our luggage and shooting equipment and/or our nephew, sister and bro-in-law. Lucky lucky lucky!! Thankful thankful thankful!!

WE ARE NOW SWINGERS!

Finally! When people ask if Tucker and I are swingers, we can now officially answer, “yes!”

We started going to swing dance lessons and are enjoying it. We look like dorks, but I think with more practice in a year or two we will feel comfortable swinging in large group settings. Tucker is really good at remembering all of the moves we’re taught so we’ll have to find some time to practice the steps and stuff at home so we won’t look all clunky.

These dance lessons are the first class of any sort Tucker and I have taken together: the first commitment we’ve made to a scheduled sort of “date” night. It’s so romantic, and I love old-fashioned dancing where people actually touch each other in patterned ways. I love the feeling of a man’s hot hand palming the small of my back. I love switching partners, too, and enjoying the variations of smells and pressure and style and heights. Clasping someone’s hands and awkwardly moving together fully clothed seems more intimate in some ways than going to a party where you know everyone will wind up fucking. Fun, fun, FUN! I also love looking around at all of the people and seeing that Tucker is the most beautiful person there.

*****

Tomorrow we are taking a road trip to visit my mom and her boyfriend who is loaning a van to us. It’s going to suck driving all the way home in separate vehicles, but other than that it’s going to be fun, and such a blessed relief to have an auto to drive again.

WEE BITTY POST
We had a great (but all-too-short) visit with KatVixen and Torn last night and this morning. No, we didn’t shoot content — we spent as much time as possible gossiping. Woohoo! I enjoyed it to the hilt.

The past couple of nights I haven’t gotten quite enough sleep so barely had the energy to update Tucker’s site today (late). I didn’t want to take a nap so I’ve spent a few hours at the computer just zoning out and hardly getting anything done. We *did* manage to shoot a cool gallery and video for Tucker that I can’t WAIT to reveal, and I edited my photos for my update tomorrow. I *love* the gallery and wanted to post a sample for you, but photoshop freaked out and crashed on me before I had the chance to select a cute one. Oh, but here is one I already posted.

Going to hit the sack now . . .

HEATHER’S “DEAR MEN” LETTER

Heather Corinna posted a long journal entry addressing some of the fucked up ways men try to deal with the subject of rape and with people who have been raped. Even if you don’t have time to read every word, it’s worth challenging yourself to read a fistful of paragraphs, at least, and follow one or two links.

She doesn’t have permalinks, so if you are trying to find the entry, it’s the one dated September 22nd, 2006.

I’m not posting this to start a big dialogue in comments, and I’d like to pointedly discourage anyone from getting all defensive in HER comments; it’s just good reading and should be looked at for personal, ummmm, improvement (might be the word).

If you wonder where I stand on the matter(s) she brings up, I can’t see one single thing she says that I disagree with or don’t get (at least a little). The parts about women’s anger (and men’s reactions to it) are the most important and resonant for me. The fact that we still have to defend our entitlement to be fucking ANGRY is one of many things that indicates to me that feminism still has a long way to go and much to accomplish.

CLIPS4SALE
The past few days I’ve been working on familiarizing myself with the clips4sale site, and finally setting up a store there: here it is. I’m still adding clips so there’s not much there yet. Anyway, it’s a good way for us to sell video clips we already have to people with specific fetish interests who only want videos aimed at their own tastes, rather than purchasing an entire membership and getting a bunch of content they don’t even want. It’s also a good platform for advertising our sites. Note: all of the videos there are available via membership to SpyOnUs or the individual site represented in the video.

Of course, we only get 60% of the revenue generated there, but it’s worth it for the advertising and not having to foot the bill for the hosting and transfer costs. My last hosting bill for all of our sites was $463. In a way that’s a good sign because it means we have more traffic and more members than we did the last time I blogged about our hosting bills. I only mention it to remind people of some of the realities of running porn sites: you don’t just rake in the money, there are also significant expenses and hosting is one of them.

The other thing I like about clips4sale is the way it caters to fetishes like sneezing, trampling, and other even more fringe interests. It’s inspiring, fun, and interesting to look at what’s out there and imagine ways to cater to those things ourselves. Pedal-pumping and tickling, for example, excite me and I love having an excuse to do videos that don’t have widespread appeal but are intriguing nonetheless.

Time for me to have some lunch and get ready for another show.

ANOTHER NIGHT OF SQUISH
My brother-in-law’s soccer game was cancelled tonight, so he and my sister and nephew get to stay with us one more night SO a few of our cams will remain down until tomorrow (also, I rescheduled one of my Friday shows for tomorrow, so be aware of that if you plan to keep me company during my 5 pm pacific / 8 pm eastern showtime.

SMALL PENIS = RELATIONSHIP DEAL BREAKER?

Inspired by Dooce’s entry on dating red flags, I thought I’d address that nagging concern of so many men: whether or not the size of a guy’s penis is a dealbreaker.

I can only answer for myself, and the answer is “no”. If I’m attracted to a guy his small penis doesn’t ruin everything for me. I’ve had very strong feelings and extremely satisfying sex with guys who had small penises, and I mean *really* small in a few cases. A too-large prick would be more of a potential deal-breaker for me because it can interfere completely with having intercourse at all.

On the other hand, if I don’t particularly like a guy very much AND he has a small penis, it’s doubtful I’ll go back for seconds and I will, if I don’t like him, list his underendowment as one of the things I dislike about him. There is nothing worse than sucking the prick of a small-sized guy you also find unattractive in other ways. If he has short-man’s syndrome AND his penis is smaller-than-average, that’s a really big turn-off. If he tries to make up for his small penis by banging you mercilessly (so all you feel are pubic bones clashing violently while the inside of your vagina sense nothing) or eating your pussy like a thirteen year old at a pie-eating contest, you won’t want anything to do with him.

How many inches would I classify as “small”? Jesus, I don’t know. If you want to read a bit more about my thoughts on cock size, check out THIS ENTRY.

Long story short: cock size (and shape) does “matter”, but not as much as men tend to think (at least not for most women, I reckon). Often, though, the size makes a difference indirectly; when a guy tries to overcompensate for what he perceives as a shortfall in length and/or girth, the results can be a huge turn-off (as in the above examples) or he could become a really great lover on his quest to make up for what he thinks he lacks.

Cock size can also make a difference when self-consciousness about it affects a man so much that he can’t perform because he’s obsessively worrying about his dick’s shortcomings. Also, if a guy’s cock is smaller-than-usual because he hasn’t spent a lot of time in his life stroking it extensively (and yes, I do think that plays a part in an average guy’s dick size), he probably has other sexual performance issues as well: premature ejaculation, for one, or perhaps a general lack of interest or responsiveness to sex in general.

If a guy’s penis looks small or its practical application is overshadowed by excess weight, I think that matters a lot. It’s not the size of his tool, but his general physical condition that would probably wind up being the dealbreaker in that case — if someone is out-of-shape enough that his wiener’s size is reduced to the point of being “small” or is difficult to access, then the average chick probably won’t be into him unless she digs that sort of thing. While I like a chubby or stout guy, if he’s so overweight that it severely limits his performance or indicates serious health issues, THAT is a dealbreaker.

I might fuck a fat guy once or twice for the fetish interest (as long as he isn’t grossly obese), but I would never have a relationship with him and neither would the average woman; we want guys who are healthy and aren’t going to die on us (unless of course we are going a-gold-diggin’). That right there is what women care about when it comes to the long term: whether or not a guy will stick around and be a good PARTNER, not whether or not he has a big dick. But in the short term? The truth is that most of us, if only given a choice between a) a guy with a small penis or b) a guy with a nice-sized cock, we are going to choose B — the bigger cock. But really, your sense of humour, whether or not you drive safely, your taste in music, your party affiliation, your height, . . . I really think those types of attributes matter a lot more.

The reason I made this entry today is to balance out something I’m posting for members today: a little comparison chart for those fellows who like to be humiliated for not measuring up. While I like to do reality checks when playing with that kind of kink in mixed company (guys who are into it mixed with guys who are NOT), I do love to indulge in pretending to be the type of woman who finds a small penis a perfectly good reason to humiliate, belittle and laugh at the guy it’s attached to. Such fun! Whether there’s cause for it or not, guys’ penis insecurities are natural and potent so it only makes sense that they obsessively fantasize about size-related sex and gender issues.

SUBSISTENCE BLOGGING
A lot of the blogging I do here feels like subsistence blogging. I make entries to keep in touch, to keep my site dynamic, to stay connected to my members and other readers. To remind people I’m ALIVE and connecting with them en masse is a top priority for me.

I think I do a good job of choosing to post something, ANYTHING, rather than let days go by waiting free time to avail itself to doing inspiration justice. But I feel like I don’t have the time or space to write about anything important in depth or to do justice to relating entire stories or describing experiences people really want to read about (ex. I still haven’t blogged about the porn shoot in New York). I have tons of draft entries stockpiled, waiting for time to check facts or find supporting links or just fucking finish or polish a tiny bit so they don’t come across as incoherent ADD-babbling. I don’t have time to clearly connect all of the dots, especially when that part of the task of writing is such a huge challenge for my limited mental capacity.

Same goes for my podcast and content production in general, to say nothing of things I’d like to do for myself — we have so much to do, so many different little things, we don’t have the luxury of really immersing ourselves deeply in doing a fantastic job of each one. Little improvement projects like reading books and magazines that rile me up and educate me, practicing piano, exercising, writing with no immediate purpose or payoff, etc. — I don’t have the space or time to enjoy them. I don’t have the time and space to switch gears and do one-on-one services like camshows and phone sex, and I really miss those things. Sure, I could do more, could do with less sleep, could watch less tv, but I’m already riding the burnout wave just from juggling all of the different things we have to do to maintain our buttload of sites that I really NEED empty-headed down time. NEED it. NEED to take time away from staring at a computer monitor or a lens. NEED to let my brain breathe unproductively and unravel.

And I NEED to spend more time and energy with my family. I’m having withdrawals from not seeing my nephew (aka Mr. Squishy) enough. Fortunately my sister, brother-in-law, and the squish will be here tonight and tomorrow night so I can fill that void. Members: some of our cams will be down while they’re here, and our bedroom cam may even be down Tuesday night while we babysit the squish and my sister and Bradle celebrate their one year wedding anniversary without the burden of their (delightful and perfect) infant son for one evening.

And now I NEED to scrub our horrifyingly disgusting fucking toilet, pick up my period-stained panties, and find a way to not feel so tired.