TastyTrixie.com

Archive for May, 2007

AGING

I discovered my first grey hairs last week. They’re pretty and silvery-white. It seems like a good time, upon this discover and after making my “Trixie as Granny” post, to share a few of my thoughts on aging and how I was raised to think about aging.

I was brought up in that old-fashioned way to “respect my elders”. A few of my elders abused that position of being older and demanding respect even when they didn’t deserve it, but whatever — the point is that I grew up associating greater age with greater power. Aging was something to look forward to because it means more POWER; no one said it to me in exactly that way, but I think that’s what I learned for better or dysfunctional worse.

My mom ALWAYS spoke of aging in a positive way. Growing older meant growing smarter and more knowledgeable (again, not necessarily true, but is a value I was taught to place on aging EVEN AS A WOMAN, which I think is key and, sadly, extraordinary these days in our country). And it was never qualified, like, “your tits might start sagging BUT you’ll be wiser!”; the attainment of wisdom, especially the wisdom gained through aging, trumped everything else and sounded sparkly, potent, and valuable. If my dad had harped on this but my mom had not, I honestly don’t think it would have been as meaningful to me as a girl. It was my mom more than anyone who raised me to want to become an adult woman and to believe, without question or conscious analysis, that the older I and other women become, THE BETTER WE ARE.

My parents and grandparents were older when I came along. In this day and age that’s not unusual but back in the seventies it sure was odd for people without college educations (or even complete high school educations as in my dad’s and grandpa’s cases) to have kids later in life. Also, my dad was thirteen years older than my mom so I didn’t grow up knowing and looking up to people in their twenties; being grown-up and a mom meant being at least thirty. As a kid it was bizarre hearing how much younger my friends’ parents were than mine (especially since they didn’t LOOK younger; my mom always looked younger, stronger, and prettier to me than any of my friends’ moms). It’s hard to pinpoint exactly what I made of this as a child and adolescent, but I think I got a general feeling that my family was special and sort of outranked my peers’ families in the age-with-vitality category (in other categories I thought my family was inferior to other people, but that’s a whole other subject; in the age category I felt privy to a shimmery sort of wisdom-of-the-ages aura).

I also have always felt a lot more comfortable with people who are quite a bit older than I am and have valued their opinions of me more than the opinions of people my own age. I’m pretty sure that my attraction (general attraction, not always or solely sexual) to older people makes a difference in the way I approach my sites and my customers, and to the types of customers who are attracted to me. I feel this is a boon, both financially and emotionally, and part of what makes webwhoring rewarding to me; I like and feel comfortable talking to men over fifty and often feel I have more in common with them than I do with men and (especially) women my own age.

Going to the transgender convention last week and being surrounded by a whole lot of people in their sixties, seventies, and eighties reinforced a lot of my positive associations with aging. When you see men in their golden years dressed in sequined ballgowns all glammed up with their shoulders proudly thrown back, it’s easy to believe that being older means having the balls to give a big middle finger to what other people think and expect of you — age means freedom and an obstinate refusal to conform. You have EARNED your SELF and can demand the privilege to BE yourself without compromise.

Looking just at these people who made it to this convention (ignoring all of the others of their generation who didn’t make it and have no doubt lived tortured, unhappy existences) I believe that people who persist in wanting something they were brought up to think impossible probably live longer lives and retain more of their youth than people who have easy, happy, content lives. It was like watching Tuck fucking Everlasting seeing some of these people IN THEIR EIGHTIES (did I already mention that?) acting younger than I act and LOOKING younger than I feel at thirty-four. It’s the kind of thing that inspires you to see the Summerland not as a possible afterlife, but as a place where you can dance when you’re old as long as you retain that cheesy-sounding notion that youth is a state of mind best combined with wisdom collected over decades of living.

I’m looking forward to growing out my silvery-white hair one of these days. I think I still have a few years to go before I earn that crown, though.

HOME

We just got home after being gone for a week. Delia is cooking up a pot of lentil soup for us to enjoy while we catch up on Idol and ANTM before rampant spoilers ruin the surprises and I think I need a nap before jumping back into the swing of webwhoring.

I feel relaxed and focused on more positive, personal and less trivial things than before this trip. In general it was a good reminder of what’s important in life: being happy and sharing that happiness with the people you love.

I know, it’s totally cheesy. I’ll write less hokey and more detailed stuff later.

LADIES

Here we are midway through the trans-people conference (not its official name). Most attendees to this particular convention are male crossdressers and male-to-female transsexuals. There are also a lot of significant others (chicks like me). As I expected, it’s an older crowd. In fact, there are a lot of ladies here in their seventies, and they are inspiring. Here I am, a “genuine girl” in her thirties who is too lazy to dress up and go out and too frightened to wear high heels and actually *walk* anywhere, while these gals are middle-aged to elderly and so excited about wearing feminine accoutrements in public they are ready to paint the town in high heels, falsies, and mini-skirts.

One of the coolest things about being here is getting to show off Delia. Of course I’m biased, but I think she’s the hottest girl here. She is getting a lot of nice compliments and admiration, and not simply because she’s got a perfect kisser and long legs; she’s getting compliments on her style, “presentation” and class.

I myself have gotten advice. More than one lady insisted I must marry Delia (preferably before the year is out), and one of the significant others told me I need to have kids. About six of them. Normally I’d find this kind of advice annoying, but this week I feel receptive enough to see morsels of wisdom in both suggestions.

*****

The conference is being held in a small city near ours but is even deeper into redneck logger territory which makes for some interesting dynamics. Here you have a general population that wouldn’t naturally be knowledgeable of or receptive to transgender people but for years have hosted this conference and perhaps have BECOME better informed and especially more tolerant in large part because they’re getting paid. The conference has become a reliable source of revenue for many small business owners over here so they are extremely nice and hospitable. The local media and I imagine the chamber of commerce seems to have tried to train the locals over the years to know what to expect and to be nice.

Of course, there are still some people (ahem, teenaged boys and assorted ugly men) to be wary of. It’s hard for me (always is) to find a balance between submitting to people’s bullshit and antagonizing it. It’s not in my nature to turn the other cheek when someone harasses my girlfriend on the street; ignoring overt rudeness seems like acceptance to me and that barfs me out. I don’t have ridiculously high standards of politeness so I think it’s understandable when people stare at anyone who looks different. Fuck, I love staring at people myself. But staring with a wide open mouth and turning around to keep staring after you’ve passed by before audibly making idiotic remarks? That’s some fucked up shit.

Most people (grownups, children, and men without insecurities) have been nice or at least normal, but in addition to potential insults there’s another worrisome aspect of walking around in public with your boyfriend when he’s wearing women’s clothes and makeup: DANGER. It’s scary enough to be a woman, but being a man acting like a woman? That adds a whole other layer of vulnerability onto a stroll through the streets. A man in drag really seems to be perceived by some people as a direct confrontation or affront to all of their hick values while other people perceive it as an invitation. I feel like there are enough people out there ready to justify their actions with a “you asked for it” defense that it’s seriously risky to go out in public like this, even with a whole convention of trannies roaming the town.

Today’s scary incident? I *knew* I should have walked Delia all the way back to the hotel room, but instead I left her a block and parking lot away from our door so I could get a coffee. I saw the black guy getting out of his old grey Mercedes and felt like he may have been the same guy who craned his neck to look at Delia the other day but I went to get my coffee anyway.

When I got back to the room Delia was a little shaken up and told me that this guy followed her through the parking lot and up the stairs to our room without her realizing it until he knocked on the door. She opened it with the latch on and the guy told her he was from out of town and wondered if she knew any good places to go to just “chill”. Sort of a normal way to hit on someone hot IF YOU HADN’T JUST STALKED HER THROUGH A PARKING LOT TO FIND OUT WHERE HER ROOM IS. Then he asked if she had a boyfriend, and Delia adamantly stated that she did — and a girlfriend too — at which time the guy turned tail and left.

Welcome to the club, Delia. You’ve just been initiated into the International Order of Vagina Owners.

This is the club where you don’t know if someone is misguided or actually predatory. You don’t know if you should laugh it off or call the cops. You don’t know if you should change rooms so he doesn’t come back in the middle of the night or if you should just never go out again at all. This is the club where you second-guess everything because you don’t want to blow something out of proportion, but you also don’t want to get raped or worse.

On the other hand, men who are used to hitting on strangers with dicks probably have a fair amount of luck with this uncouth approach. There are entire city parks with ample roving cocksuckers to prove it. Guys hitting on guys seem to play from a different rulebook and Delia said that this fellow didn’t act aggressive or scary (apart from the whole stalking her through the parking lot to our room thing which is sort of hard for me to write off as a totally innocent mistake even though he’d have to be CRAZY if he meant any harm to do that in broad daylight as a black guy who kind of sticks out like a sore thumb in this neck of the woods). He probably was too nervous to approach her on the street like a normal person where everyone could see him hitting on her so maybe that’s why he followed her to a more discreet location. Or maybe he just thought he’d have a better chance of getting laid if he propositioned her in close proximity to a bed. Who knows? I guess that’s the danger right there: who the fuck knows??

DAIRY FOR THE LACTOSE INTOLERANT

Full Gallery & video appearing now in my Members-Only.
Join TastyTrixie.com or SpyOnUs.com to see more of my big natural boobs.

I admit it: sometimes I’m mesmerized by images of my own breasts. I love the shapes, colors, and textures in this little screen grab from a video I posted today. It’s a flattering image; they look pretty near perfect to me. Okay, I’m lying. They look totally fucking perfect to me as far as big ones go.

*****

We just got home from a long day of shopping in preparation for a conference we’re going to next week. It’s for transgendered people and their significant others. I’m excited about it; I like structured events with classes and stuff, and I can’t wait to find out how to refine my “identi-T”. It’s not a swingers’ convention or a porn conference or any of that, though, so don’t expect us to come home with any wild or crazy stories; in fact, we’re both a little apprehensive about how we’ll be perceived as a couple with porn sites. There’s a distinct probability that a lot of people there will have issues with that or be suspicious of us because of it so we’ll not be wearing t-shirts with our domain names printed on them, but our sites ARE part of our “identi-T’s” so we’re also not going to avoid talking about what we do.

A NON-WHINY POST

To balance out the attitude of the last post and to change my focus to positive things I look forward to doing, here are some little goals of mine:

WORK ON MY PODCAST:
Because I want to and because it’s a perfect alternative to dealing with some of the bullshit I griped about in my last post.

BUY REGULAR CLOTHES (AND SHOOT IN THEM):
We spend so much money on clothes for shoots that I never feel justified in spending money on clothes to wear on a daily basis since I can’t write those off. Result? I kind of feel like a shapeless piece of shit whenever I leave the house. Since good weather is here I’m going to make sure to buy some normal non-fetish clothes and shoes. A secondary goal for that is to shoot more photos and videos wearing (and taking off) normal non-fetish clothes, especially outside. It’s kind of strange that I haven’t felt justified in doing that since the whole regular broad next door approach is kind of my thing and I’m guessing most of my best members would dig that kind of thing; no idea why I’ve failed to pursue that angle more often in shoots except that I do like buying the lingerie and slutty stuff to have for shows. And I can write off the whole amount because I never wear that stuff except when I’m on camera in one way or another.

BRING BACK DORK DANCING:
We used to schedule dork dancing on our spycams on a near-weekly basis. I don’t know if anyone enjoyed it besides us, but we would go cuckoo wacky-dancing and jumping on furniture to fun music for an hour or so. Dancing is good stuff, no matter how silly you look doing it (or maybe it’s even better the dorkier you look doing it).

PUT A WEE BIT MORE EFFORT IN OUR CLIP STORE:
We already have the videos and clips4sale is a great platform for selling them individually (fyi: it’s a much better deal, though, to just join one of our sites and get access to everything at once for basically the cost of two average clip downloads). It’s also great inspiration and justification for pursuing odd fetish interests. Thanks to Mina for providing some encouragement and reminders about how to make the clips store worthwhile.

GOOD, BAD & UGLY

Good:
Tucker spied a washer and dryer for sale for $50. With luck we’ll be laundering every dirty thing on the premises by midnight. This could signal the return of pee to my group shows.

Bad:
Doing a group camshow and seeing your stepdad’s nickname in the list of viewers. While it’s incredibly unlikely that it’s him, it’s still really fucking unpleasant and a serious obstacle to enjoying masturbating.

Ugly (but in the best possible way):
John Malkovich in Colour Me Kubrick. Adorably ugly — it’s such a perfect role for him, so manipulatively sexual and totally silly. I love movies about people who are totally full of shit. FYI: I didn’t for a second think the word “ugly” while watching the movie, but I needed something that would fit the bill for ugly and this actually works. And I really just think a lot of you would love this film if you haven’t already seen it. It’s actually only ugly in a sort of Grey Gardens way that’s half repellent and half motherfucking inspiring as in, “I want to be grandly removed from reality and take everyone with me while wearing fabulously wacky ensembles assembled from the rubbish bins of rich people.”

*****

The bad and the ugly of this entry both make me feel like escaping certain elements of my “job” that make me feel trapped, bored and invaded. While doing these free group shows is great, the nature of the internet porn business just gets nastier and nastier; to make a decent living starting from scratch you practically HAVE to give tons of stuff away for free.

As I mentioned in my last vlog, these hour-long explicit camshows we do are now broadcast for free on sites where ANYONE can get access without paying a nickle, without sacrificing even a nugget of their own personal information, without proving they’re over eighteen, and without demonstrating that they have or will ever pay for porn. I don’t blame people for eating up free porn and enjoying these sites, I just don’t want to supply everyone in the known universe with my time and such a high level of interaction and intimate access to me and my body.

But. Even though I don’t WANT to do it I’ve sort of resigned myself to it for the time being because there ARE benefits to doing it and right now, no good alternatives. I’ve dealt with this type of exposure before (namely when the guy hosting our spycams decided to build a site with my name and give our cams away for free to get as many people as possible to get them to download his spyware; not only a sucky thing to have your name attached to, but a really invasive free-for-all inviting people into our home on a virtual basis that basically horrified me). It didn’t kill me, though, and in the end when the site was shut down I did make money off of it when the people shut out from those cams joined my site to get access to them again. The benefits were measurable (being able to offer high quality spycams and getting paid to do so while also getting exposure without any advertising effort on my part) and the costs were really all psychological (big deal! Suck it up! You’ll live! So what?).

Over the years I’ve weighed the psychological costs with the monetary benefits and have concluded every single time that it’s worth it. Yes, I abhor the system which has developed in internet porn with tiers of pimp-web”masters” degrading the value of our pussies and pocketing greater and greater chunks of the profits while competing with one another to give more and more and MORE away for free (making it less and less and LESS necessary for surfers to join our sites to get their jollies), but that’s the way it is now; the only way to avoid it is to get out of the business or deal with it long enough that you can afford to create alternative advertising and live-interaction platforms . For the record, I don’t begrudge *individuals* the money we pay them to pimp us out just like I don’t begrudge individuals access to our free shows as long as they’re available. I don’t blame anybody for making money off of it and enjoying it while they can (and we have been supported and enjoyed the company of many viewers who would never have found us if not for us appearing on those free sites). It’s just a fucked up network of bullshit that whores allow to continue to operate because it’s easy, we’re lazy, and we can’t get our shit together enough to take over the infrastructure ourselves and ditch the profiteers we’ve come to rely upon for their cam networks and such. We’d rather bitch and whine about it and honestly, it’s embarrassing. It embarrasses me that I allow myself to be emotionally affected by it when instead I could buck up, work harder, and make enough money to create solutions where I would not have to relinquish so much control and exclusivity. But god, I do think it’s incredibly degrading to be sexually exposed so cheaply. Sexually exposed is fine as long as I am compensated or it’s a private and consensual thing. Sexually exposed FOR FREE just sickens me. It tears at the fibres of my value system. A few still images here and there, a video clip every so often, or even a live teaser . . . that’s okay. Being able to speak to me, see inside my home, or time your orgasm to happen with mine in real life FOR FREE? I’m opposed to that. It’s ridiculous that we chicks have the cunts but we still roll over and let pimps invite thousands of surfers to fuck them dry FOR. FREE. Some of the chicks with cunts have learned that there’s more money to be made pimping out other chicks than there is trying to reign in the free-for-all atmosphere; with good reason, they’d rather invest their money in creating more advertisement jungles that suck in surfers with the opportunity to see hardcore live action FOR FREE without adequately compensating the performers or focusing on motivating surfers in any meaningful way to pay the performers. Once surfers get their fill of the devalued live content, the site owners know a profitable percentage of their hoardes of mostly-freeloaders will click on ads for stuff they haven’t just gotten for free. Middle-aged woman hungry for love settles for gang bang instead. Lonely girls just want to chat and please you. The site owners make their money on clicks, joins, and even just flying banners and text ads for other FREE sites.

I started camming seven years ago right as the internet porn industry and pay-for-play camming began to be more competitive. As more and more people have gotten online and web savvy, our earning potential should have grown with the traffic increases regardless of new webwhores coming onto the scene, but instead the web has just been glutted with more and more free porn. Instead of competing with other paysites, we have to compete with the people who give our shit away for free (and I’m not talking about people who write lovely reviews or thoughtful blog entries and link to a few free galleries, I’m talking about people who spam search engines with our names, insert their affiliate codes, and redirect that traffic to our sites in order to make 50% off of the sales they essentially stole from us, just as one filthy example, or the cam networks that lease their feeds which consist of our live shows to people who then give them away for free and then take a 50% cut of the few measly sales we make doing those shows; it adds up to more for them, but less for us — they lessen the sales potential of porn in one fell swoop by giving so much away for free and in that same instant capture a hefty portion of all of the decreased sales that are left).

Oh, I know there are people out there who think free porn is such a lovely thing and gosh, I agree it sure is delightful but in the same way cheap shit at Walmart is delightful and toys made in China are delightful; you have to know tha
t someone, somewhere is being underpaid and overworked in hostile, unhealthy conditions while some men are getting fat and rich off of exploiting their sweet young Chinese asses. You’re getting your bargain and consumption-for-cheap, but at what cost to the people who actually do the sweating to provide the goods?

I’ll say it again, though: enjoy it while you can. My intention isn’t to alienate those who provide exposure for our sites or to alienate those who don’t need to (or can’t afford) to pay to enjoy us, it’s to vent and provide some perspective on the costs of being a webwhore. While it sounds like I’m bitching about the financial costs, I’m really not: with hard work we can still make plenty of money to be very happy and satisfied. What I’m bitching about is that a lot of that hard work is EMOTIONAL and it really doesn’t have to be this way . . . it just is. There is an emotional cost for me realizing that hundreds of thousands of people have seen inside my home and had the opportunity to say hideous things to me while watching me stick vibrating things into my holes. I can hear them now saying, “Didn’t you know tons of people would see you naked when you got into this?”. No, actually — I didn’t. Not when I got into it seven years ago because it wasn’t like this. Or at least I assumed that if I were to be exposed to this many people on a regular basis, I would have sales to match. It disgusts me to be surprisingly well-known, recognizable, and enjoyed by so many over the years but not be rich. Seriously, it’s totally backwards — I have no desire to be famous if I’m not going to be rich, too. You should stop doing this if it bothers you so much! Like I’ve always said, I have no problem with being a whore — I just have a problem with being a CHEAP whore. I’ve got no problem with buttloads of people having seen me in compromising positions; my problem is that they got to do so FOR FREE. If you put on a better show, more people would join your site — maybe you’re just too mean and old and ugly to convert that traffic into sales! Entirely possible. I could indeed be a better salesgirl during my shows but then I’d feel like an even cheaper whore if I tried harder. Anyway, you’re deluded if you think it would make a real difference; I honestly think that the more you “please” the crowd in the camshows with smiles, pleasantries, cuteness, and hardcore, the less likely they are to join. Instead they just come faster, leave, and forget you and your site sooner. If you’re not an amazing beauty I genuinely think the best way to get people to remember you is to piss them off. No, the way to make more sales isn’t through shows anymore which have become so easily accessible in such great numbers for such extended lengths of time so as to make them pathetically worthless, it’s through the pimp-web”masters”. With the industry the way it is now, it’s pretty unrealistic to try to make money without them (and honestly, I am actually proud to be able to reward the vast majority of folks who promote us).

I feel now like I need to defend all of this off-putting money talk. I’ve figured it out in my head and you make more money than *I* do!, I hear them say. Actually, you’re probably not figuring in all of our expenses, but so what — after seven years in this industry, I do indeed make more money than a lot of people who generously support us. And those people probably make more money than large villages in Indonesia. Everybody makes more money than somebody else . . . there’s always someone who has got it worse. What I care about is whether I make enough AS A SEX WORKER. As a woman, part of a group of people (other women!) who should have a corner on this pussy market. As a person who is at risk to be targeted by the federal government for obscenity prosecution resulting in prison time and the seizure of ALL ASSETS resulting from pornography, am I adequately compensated? As a person who is vulnerable to the possibility of having relatives have free anonymous access to explicit sex shows she is performing, am I adequately compensated? As a person whose earning potential will decrease with age, am I earning enough to compensate me for the lack of longevity one can expect to enjoy in this field, particularly when you consider that once you’ve been a sex worker and there is any record or public knowledge of it you will be barred from a number of other jobs (teaching, for example — the profession you studied for in college)? These unique factors must be considered when assessing whether or not a webwhore is making a suitable amount of money. Call me crazy, but I think whores should not just be adequately paid, they should be WELL PAID. They should earn enviable amounts of money, even the mediocre ones. As it is in the internet porn industry, however, a girl can make massively more money PROMOTING her corporate-created paysite as an affiliate than she can by being the model in the photos and videos and doing a weekly camshow. That’s not how I want whores to be treated. Not at all.

If I didn’t feel certain that we can make more money in the future, I’d have to say it’s not worth it. I would give it up and just be a web pimp instead of a webwhore. Actually, in some ways that’s what I’m doing since Delia’s site makes twice as much money as mine does. There are definitely things that ROCK about webwhoring, stuff I ignored to make this ranting post, but I seriously do not think it’s worth it, to be at the point where you are recognized as Trixie at the grocery store by strangers who have seen your vagina but you can’t even afford health insurance. That’s totally bass-ackwards. Again, I recognize that I could be making more money — could HAVE been making more money all along by working longer hours, sleeping less, worrying less, enjoying the freedom of self-employment less, getting hypnotherapy to prevent myself from feeling even the slightest sting from being naked and reading text scroll across a screen saying, “SHE IS AS UGLY AS A SLOTH AND GOT HER PUSSY IT TOO HAIRY FOR THIS DAY AND AGE, GET A RAZER YOU SKANK”. Seriously, I’m well-suited to this career and can put that shit into perspective and even enjoy it sometimes (because I don’t find slothfulness or a lack of hygienic modernity all that insulting and the idea of someone razing me is pretty funny) *but* I’d have to be a psycho if I didn’t notice it at all or get frustrated or assess the damage and ask myself if it’s worth it.

The answer, as always, is that it IS worth it. For the past seven years, it has been worth it. And fuck, I can’t think of anything that would make it worth it to quit. I assure you in my most sincere white trash fashion that IF I WERE TO WIN THE LOTTERY I would keep on webwhoring. I would not give it up. Because I *do* love it. I love making blog entries like this and then worrying about how it might upset or confuse someone. I love the challenges. I (especially, perhaps primarily) love the freedom. I love the possibilities. I am addicted to the uncertainty. Sometimes, though, I do feel burned out.

When I watched Colour Me Kubrick I was jealous. Because sometimes I feel like my commitment to our sites and exposing so much of myself has left so little time and energy for me to be a liar. To pretend for a week to be someone else. While faking a persona was never my approach to camming or phone sex, sometimes it was requested and it was always POSSIBLE, the opportunity to be a total whack-job other-person. Now with the spycams and the layers and layers of exposure on our sites, in my blogs, and on the camsites I feel not only that there is no place for me to hide, but there is no room for me to PRETEND. When I did one-on-ones, especially phone sex, I was giddy with the possibilities. Talking to one person and one person only, with no one to overhear, I could be wearing anything I could be doing anything I could be an absolute FREAK. Oh, the dirty things I have done on the phone! But now, with so many people watc
hing and knowing me I feel like I can only be me. My most authentic self. And, worst of all, my BEST self. Me at my best. And I never am (or perhaps my best just isn’t very good).

I feel like if we keep at this and actually DO do our best, in a couple of years I may not have the freedom to go places without being TRIXIE. All of the time, pressure to be the best Trixie I can be even though sometimes I just want to dress up in green socks, pink slippers, a grubby caftan with sequins falling off and a turban sitting askew on my head and go swishing about town with a long cigarette holder, ashing everywhere and never actually smoking, affecting ridiculous accents.

There is a sexual component to this train of thought that’s been dogging me for the past month or six, but I’ll save that for another entry or perhaps a confession for members only.

Trixie answers pressing questions from her audience, including whether or not she likes younger men, black men, etc. She also talks about her most recent TOY purchases and the annoying obligation to be nice during her webcam shows.

Download File

Note: I WAS ONLY TALKING ABOUT *COOKIES*, OKAY?

ME? A GRANNY??

As an over-thirty webwhore I’m used to being dumped into the “MILF” category by porn people reviewing or promoting me and my site (even though I’m totally NOT a mother).

But promoting me as a GRANNY? Wow! I’m finding my galleries appearing on sites with names like “Meaty Grannies” and “Grandma Pie”. AND THEY ARE MAKING SALES so I guess the ploy is working and my granny-like sex appeal is high.

Here is one of my galleries that’s being passed off as totally grandma-licious. It WAS one of my favorite sets of pictures but now I’m looking at it through a totally different lens and seeing crone-like characteristics that I never noticed before in every photo. Due to the backlight and shadows on my face, I *do* look rather wizened in this photo; I even appear to have a soft silvery beard that just never caught my eye prior to being marketed as a granny.

I’m looking forward to the day when I actually AM in my golden years; if they’re adding forty years onto me now, when I’m seventy-five I’ll then be able to market myself in the MOTHERFUCKING IMMORTAL category of porn, as yet to be established.

Haglike queen of the undead fucks young bucks with her magical cock-shaped sceptre.

Immobilized bed-ridden senior hypnotizes you with her cataracts’ come-hither stare.

I’m going to be so HOT! No no no . . . the undead are COOL to the touch.

A girl granny can dream, can’t she?

SHOW TODAY

I’m doing a show today at noon (pacific), then Delia has her show at 4 pm as usual and will be webwhoring after that. If we’re lucky, Camz won’t still be having technical problems the way they were on Friday and our shows will go off without any hitches.

We decided to move our Tuesday shows to Sunday and Monday to open up the week for travel and shoots; during nice weather it SUCKS to go anywhere on the weekend around here, especially when you’re at the mercy of overstuffed ferry boats, as we are. Being able to plan trips for Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday (rather than extending things onto horrible-for-travel Friday) is WAY better.

I do have more interesting and exciting things to blog about, but it’s the mundane stuff that has me in its clutches. My big accomplishment yesterday was editing video and writing a letter of dispute on a credit issue. I also started working on a new design for Trixie.com, but I don’t know if it’s “sexy” enough. I don’t even know for sure what I’m trying to accomplish there and am a little paralyzed by uncertainty and lack of resources so I’m going to try to convince myself to just have fun with it. So far I am not very receptive to that reality-show advice, though.

Last night we wasted all kinds of time watching horrible Discovery channel shows about people with facial deformities.

The best thing we did yesterday? Bought spices for lentil soup.