TastyTrixie.com

Archive for January, 2008

During my shows today I got the usual questions I get when I’m wearing a tampon and haven’t bothered to cut the string. Namely, “what she got hangin out of her pussy?” I feel it’s my moral obligation to continue flaunting my string time if only to educate these sheltered ignoramuses.

After my last orgasm I returned my focus to the chatroom only to read a new question, one I’d never fielded before:

“Why is your pussy so flat?”

Ummmmmm . . . flat? Well, here is what he was looking at:

I had to ask him what he meant. FLAT? He couldn’t bring himself to elaborate. And maybe it does look relatively flat, especially without any hair on it (a recent change). Regardless, I couldn’t tell you WHY mine is that way. It just IS. I was born with a (now) stylishly cute vulva that could almost be mistaken for fake if not for the vulgar coloring, pimples, and hair (when I have it, which is almost always). And as I’ve gotten older it’s gotten more of a pinched pie dough look, but it still has its flat days, I guess. I should start marketing myself that way. STEP RIGHT UP AND SEE TRIXIE’S FLAT PUSSY! Actually, my pussy is not as flat as it looks, though. It’s just the quality of the webcam show action and lighting that fucks up the dimensions.

Speaking of the hair removal, I still got a handful of “compliments” on my supposedly still-hairy pussy, even though the actual vulva is now shaved. Seriously? That pussy looks hairy? Color me confused. That is like confusing a mustache with a beard. No, it’s like confusing SIDEBURNS with a beard.

Yay! I am mostly-done redesigning my members-only area. Here’s a screenshot of the main page:

JOIN NOW to get full access!

I’m also working on overhauling the free area of my site and eventually this blog so it takes advantage of the added space of larger displays and everything is, at the very least, color coordinated. Here’s a peek at the unfinished “clean tour” (an alternative promotional design made especially for affiliates promoting the site who don’t want any links to ANYTHING except the join page to maximize their chance of making a sale; the regular free area will look a little different and, of course, have lots of links leading off site).

After spending many hours on this on top of recently designing a site for my brother-in-law, I started feeling REALLY DISCOURAGED yesterday. Part of me really enjoys doing this kind of work (sometime after I get started and things start to come together to look pretty, but BEFORE I actually get SO SICK OF IT and SO AWARE OF MY LACK OF DESIGN ABILITIES that I never really wind up with a polished end result). At the end of all of my dogged and painstaking efforts, I still wind up with sites that look like that guy’s pickup truck outfitted with the WRONG SIZE canopy. If my web designs were dresses on Project Runway I would be the one who’d get aufed for not hemming it. It just doesn’t look FINISHED – it’s poorly constructed! Did you just GLUE that seam together??

Part of me is pretty happy with my skill level as a webmaster; it’s not really a job I even WANT to be *great* at; I’m proud of being mediocre. On the other hand, if I could stop time and take a month off to learn some of the things I don’t know but WANT to know, I totally would. In a perfect (but realistic) world (where you can’t actually stop time or don’t have skill points like in a video game where you can buy yourself new abilities once you’ve proceeded far enough into the game) I would have the money to hire real webmasters and programmers to collaborate with and carry out my vision(s). I am damned fucking ready to arrive in that world so I need to work through my moments of impatience with myself and the necessity of doing these things myself so that I can get there. Eventually, I trust it will happen. I just need to work, work, work. And not scream at myself.

In the new incarnation of the free area of TastyTrixie.com I’m going to have a “help wanted” section with some specific jobs for people that I can currently barter for (example: someone installs back end scripts I don’t want to muddle through on one of my sites, they get a free membership). I have realized with design, though, that I am *just* confident enough in myself that I prefer doing things in my own inefficient way if I’m not able to afford to pay someone to do things EXACTLY how I want them or guaranteed to be better than I imagined. One of my (not so good) personality traits is that I really don’t like “wasting” time giving people positive feedback and being all touchy-feely; I do not make a nice boss. I just want to tell someone what to do, speak in an efficient manner about how to do it, be able to rely on it getting done on time, and not worry about someone’s feelings getting hurt. I don’t like having to invest a lot of emotional energy into getting something done. Knowing that, I just prefer to do things myself or to look forward to being able to compensate someone for doing them for me AND putting up with my bitch ass. When I am overwhelmed with things I want to do (work things), I sort of resent socializing. It feels like a depressing, energy-sucking obligation which is why I usually steer clear of barter arrangements and such — the social aspect of making the arrangement and the give/take do not appeal to me. I would rather just fumble through something myself than have to, like, TALK to someone.

We started watching Touching the Void while we ate lunch yesterday and I’m just trying to remind myself that if those fuckers could get off that motherfucking mountain alive, there’s no excuse for me whining and crying over what I have left to do to make our sites look more presentable.

*****

Now I am going to get some exercise, take a shower and go get my feet rubbed and toenails painted. I need to get out of my head. Later we’re going to try to do a couple of shoots. Tomorrow we’re going to the fertility clinic for Delia’s last sperm deposit and I’ll probably make an appointment to try to find out if something inside me is preventing me from getting pregnant (my period just started yesterday, by the way).

Snagged from Jason Verwey:

Instructions:

1. The first article title on the Wikipedia Random Articles page is the name of your band.

2. The last four words of the very last quotation on the Random Quotations page is the title of your album.

3. The third picture in Flickr’s Interesting Photos From The Last 7 Days will be your album cover.

4. Use your graphics programme of choice to throw them together, and post the result.

I would LOVE to own mine (but would HATE to know any of my band’s fans):

You know the drummer is very handy with the brushes and wears thick black-framed glasses, while the bass player’s beret stinks of dandruff and ashes. Nary a coherent sentence passes between any of them. The best part is that Angelo Badalamenti has taken a very special interest in them, and it shows on this album.

Band Name | Album Title | Cover Art

Though the storms interfered with my ability to do shows today, we re-channeled that energy into doing a photo/video shoot involving me in sheer panties sitting astride Delia and giving her (and the camera) a good rear view:

We shot this in our bedroom (nothing fancy) so I decided to turn off the audio on the one bedroom spycam that has it (actually, I didn’t realize it wasn’t even logged in at the time, but the two without audio were still up so that’s good). Some camgirls like to let voyeurs spy on their shoots, but I often have reservations about it. For one thing, I sometimes worry it will spoil the “surprise” of the content when I post it. For another, I think it interferes with the fantasy; when you see all of the awkwardness that goes into a photo/video shoot and/or hear all of the technical components of it I think it’s a mood-killer. There are a lot of interruptions to pause for the camera’s focus, to adjust the angles, to check on the progress to see if it looks halfway like what you want it to look like, to make bossy demands of each other, etc. And that’s just for a very amateur mid-quality shoot.

I know it sounds funny to hear me worrying about destroying “the fantasy” of porn since I make a habit of purposely doing exactly that on our sites by burping, farting, and explicitly reminding people of the boundaries between reality and fantasy (and demonstrating that most of the stuff on our spycams is ugly and/or boring and/or hilarious reality). On the other hand, when we shoot video — ESPECIALLY video I know will be jerk-worthy — I want people to be able to enjoy its hotness without thinking about how we argued over the lighting or how I had to stop for a minute and howl because I got a cramp in my leg or how we struggled for five minutes to engineer our body positions so that the camcorder would have a good view. I do think that stuff is interesting so I don’t always censor these things, but sometimes I just want people to be able to focus on the end result and don’t want to hotness of the product to be compromised by memories of the shoot itself.

In order for the sex video to feel as real and genuine as possible, you sometimes need to censor out the artifice of how it came to be recorded. Sex on tape by definition can never be a completely natural depiction of the real thing; instead you have to decide which very-real, very-hot elements of reality you want to capture and go through a process that eliminates as much of the artificial distractions as possible. We do have funny behind the scenes stuff and a lot of honest portrayals of our work and our selves that expose the artifice instead of pretending it doesn’t exist, but sometimes I just want to wind up with something pure. Something that focuses on things I think are really fucking hot: my ass, sheer panties, cock in my pussy and cum on my butt.

JOIN HERE to access our spycams & complete photo & video archives.

A post made by Trixie on her phone.

MP3 File

Man, this is EXACTLY one of the big reasons I hate that I finally bought health insurance: it doesn’t cover MY doctor, the one I love. The one who just sent a newsletter entitled, “Love Your Colon: Honor Your Anus”.

How am I doing on my resolutions to look cuter on our spycams and to watch less television?

Not too great, but I have good excuses: I still have a cold and yesterday had to get cavities filled; it sucks to have to keep your mouth open while you’re congested and someone fills your mouth with sharp metal implements, cotton, juices, and powdered teeth. None of these things can be bonafide as horrible, but they’re just bad enough that I feel pathetic and in need of comfort from warm, sloppy attire and TV. Since it’s also *possible* (but unconfirmable at this point) that I’m pregnant, I don’t want to take more than some Tylenol and plain one-ingredient Robitussin.

Anyway, we HAD to watch the tube last night to enjoy coverage of the Iowa caucuses. We both cried watching and listening to Obama. I hope (nay, I PRAY) he’ll win. At the very least he’d be a President we can see and hear without mass quantities of people wanting to rip their ears off and gouge out their eyes just to stop THE PAIN from entering their brains.

I know my simplistic perspective on this will sicken some of my readers, but I seriously believe what matters most is that our next president is someone who leads our spirits and inspires us. I’m tired of being depressed. We need someone to restore our faith on a whole bunch of levels and he totally does it for me.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yqoFwZUp5vc&rel=1]

Barack is THE ONE. I look forward to him winning more than I ever looked forward to losing my virginity.

In addition to the resolution I posted here, there are a couple of other things I plan to focus on in 2008 that members might enjoy:

*REVIVE PODCAST & DO MORE VIDEO BLOGGING
One of many reasons (all rooted in bizarre insecurities) I dropped off the podcast map before I really got started (but AFTER I’d been happily making informal phone posts since before podcasting became popular) was sorta because vlogging picked up at the same time and suddenly there seemed to be so many different tools and ways of doing what I’d BEEN doing (informally) over the phone without much thought. I started getting performance anxiety about it and feel overwhelmed by the need to research all of the different tools and techniques and platforms and places to syndicate and worrying that everyone would lose interest in audio without video. At the same time the service I’d been using to make phoneposts died and the service I switched to (hipcast) requires me to remember a lot more numbers and codes to make a post.

Whatever. I got a new microphone and am going to let go of my worries and just ramble the way I used to (okay, with maybe a little more focus) and start posting more video, too.

*WATCH LESS TELEVISION
I’ve gained a lot of weight and we have a lot less sex since we got Directv. I don’t want to give up television altogether (even though I was perfectly happy without it for years) and I don’t feel a morsel of regret or shame over watching every episode of “Flavor of Love”, so it’s not really that I want to watch less tv (in fact, I fully intend to catch up on “A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila” which looks to be GROUNDBREAKING), it’s that I want to do more of the other things I love (dancing, listening to music, fucking, reading, etc.). I think voyeurs will appreciate seeing us paying more attention to each other than the small screen.

In order to motivate myself to watch less television I’ve decided that before each time we turn it on, I’ll figure out something I really want to do that’s enjoyable (dance around the living room listening to Traveling Wilburys Vol. 3, for example, or exchanging foot baths with Delia), and keep that in mind, promising myself to do it after the show we’re watching is over. A lot of times I’ll lie in bed watching SITCOM after SITCOM, groaning to myself that I need to get up, I have so much WORK to do, and I realize that vague whipsnaps of gigantic piles of WORK are not enough to get me enthusiastic about getting up out of bed. If I’m going to make myself stop watching tv to do work, then I need to promise myself to do something very specific that I’ve been looking forward to (a blog entry on a specific subject, for example – something manageable that I enjoy doing yet is more productive than rotting my brain).

Speaking of resolutions, Seska was(is?) looking for sexual resolutions. I guess the less tv is indirectly a resolution to have more sex, but I don’t know think it SOUNDS sexy. And I don’t want to (nor have I ever, as far as I can recall) make any New Year’s sexual resolutions; I’d love to resolve to get pregnant, but that’s clearly not how it works, at least not for me.