TastyTrixie.com

Archive for March, 2008

Let’s see, what have I been up to lately? Here are a few links to fill in the gaps:

*In case you haven’t already read it, I’m not pregnant. I feel much better since I posted that entry, but yeah. That’s what I *did* feel like.

*I updated my radio station playlist after realizing I need to step it up about ten notches if I want to justify the increasing expense of having one. Note: it’s probably not interesting reading unless you’re “into” reading process-oriented planning stuff.

With my emotional state and my choice in tunes, listening to my own station gave me a bloated throat-lump and more crying. In a sorta good way.

*For the past few weeks it seems like the viewers/chatters in my webcam shows have been MUCH more pleasant than usual. I wind up the shows loaded with lots of warm fuzzies and really appreciate the change in tone. Coincidentally, most of these shows were during my vibrator-abstinence period and my PERIOD period so they were very chat-oriented shows with less actual showing-off of my body. Normally a less explicit show leads to the natives getting restless and very rude, but for some reason the crowds have been noticeably more tolerant, receptive and respectful than they have been in the past few years. I think that the big cam network might be filtering out some of the freeloaders because the crowds also seem smaller. Whatever it is, I like it; it’s a lot more fun and relaxing.

*Our hosting company had some hiccups and is doing some upgrades so our sites have had (and might have more) downtime than I’ve seen with them for the past six years. They are doing some upgrades April 1st Monday Night/Tuesday morning
between 1:00am – 6:00am and hope to limit the down time to fifteen minutes, but it’s possible there could be more.

I hate the impact that has on people’s perceptions of our sites, but it happens to everybody at some time or another so I hope everyone will be patient with it. Members: if you want all the technical details and apologies from our hosting company, I’ve posted them HERE and HERE.

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We’re going to have to do some heavy time (and semen) management in the upcoming weeks to try again to get pregnant, shoot content, and do some major work to try to get our income boosted (this week is going to be TIGHT) so I’m making a lot of lists, plans and goals. It might make me even more boring than usual, but also more productive (but maybe not more productive in the “fun” way).

An overwrought, incoherent mini-tribute to my favorite periodical and worthy cause, $pread magazine:

Do you know what it’s like to go to the newsstand and see business magazines like inc. and then for a second get excited because you see a magazines for WOMEN-run businesses. But it’s called something like “PINC.” and you buy it even though you know absolutely nothing inside will have anything to do with the one industry that women should dominate. The sex industry (the pinkest industry). Not. One. Word. Of recognition. It’s like trying to plan your own funeral in a society that doesn’t have a word for death or acknowledge that everyone dies in the end. That’s how crazy it seems to refuse to acknowledge the business of sex in general discussions about business, particularly businesses run by women. That’s how fucking backwards and NOT progressive we are (but I’m sure most straight business-women think that IS progress, to not associate women in business with the possibility of anything remotely sexual except for harassment and victimization). The new ambitious woman is required not to be in charge of her body or to enjoy it in her off time or to use it to get ahead, but to project a consistently professional asexual image, don’t you know? God forbid word leaks out that she even HAS a body underneath those clothes! No, the working woman can only advance in status by keeping her tits and pussy discretely locked away in a witness protection program; showing off our assets only serves to make them a liability. If we show them to anyone on purpose it might make it harder for us to use them to prosecute some guy later who took an uncivilized interest in them.

The world thinks that starting an ebay business selling crocheted kleenex box holders is a better, more legitimate career* for a woman than turning tricks or being a webwhore. This is unbelievably STUPID to me and it’s why women who do sex work are pretty motherfucking socially isolated. Because we’re not just doing a job that’s hard to talk about with other people, like being a paramedic or a soldier or a nurse who attends to the dead and dying and ends and saves lives; those people are considered heroic even if no one wants to hear the truth of their jobs. Those people usually work in teams, teams that don’t have to compete against each other for pay; they can talk to EACH OTHER about their work. I’m not denying that there’s competition in those fields for promotions (which do equal more money) and status and I’m certainly not denying that those jobs are hard (on the contrary) nor am I trying to say that sex work is harder than those jobs; what I’m trying to say is that doing sex work can be very isolating. Not only are we discouraged by polite society from talking about our work (and even laws against talking about it in some cases), but our work itself is often against the law. Very few sex workers can talk to their family, romantic interests, or non-whore friends about our tough days at the office, and developing a sense of camaraderie with colleagues is often challenging. There’s no human relations department where we can file grievances. I’m not saying these circumstances exist for all of us or are necessarily unbearable or even undesirable for a lot of us, I’m just saying that it *can* be pretty fucking lonely in ways that are fairly unique. I am really lucky that I am a hermit to begin with, my partner does the same kind of work I do, and I’m out with my family and can be fairly open with them. Plus, my brand of sex work is really safe, no-(physical)-contact stuff. Still? There are times when I realize that my friends and family have no fucking clue who I am, what I do, or what’s important to me . . . and don’t WANT to. There are some things that I can only talk about with other people who do the work I do. I’m sure it’s the same for lawyers, priests and teachers but they HAVE networks and coffee rooms and church and professional associations. Me? I am still stunned by finding out that my sister (who I’m very close to) assumed I would want my sites taken down if/when I die. Apparently my story is something she thinks I would want erased rather than shared and preserved in all of its grotesquely intimate nakedness.

So is it weird that seeing $pread for sale at a bookstore made my heart skip a beat and a pain dive down through my innards as though I’d just unexpectedly caught sight of someone I have a big crush on? I don’t know if I can explain where that intense feeling of recognition comes from and the sense of being on the verge of something life-altering, like standing in a crowd and having a beam of sunlight shine specifically down on just you, singling you out as deserving of solace and renewal. While everyone else just mills around the bookstore, you are aware of being part of a group of people witnessing and breaking through thousands and thousands of years of foul, soul-staining, isolating, life-killing bullshit.

I think it’s the sensation of battle (not war) victory upon seeing a visible representation of a long line of stigmatized women’s voices finally coming to be recognized and legitimized, our hiserstories written by ourselves and our concerns and specific business needs addressed. Uncensored, not twisted or misappropriated or degradingly pitied by academia and looky-loos and feminism-hoarders. Not perfect, not artsifucked, but really fucking important. Our stories. VALUED in print and for sale in public.

*Note: I mean no offense to crafty crocheters of kleenex box holders; I myself would love to know how to crochet. Plus I would never disrespect someone for honoring tissue boxes since I myself have a major kleenex fetish. I’m just reasonably sure that whoring is a more viable business than hand-crafting tissue cozies.

**Confession: I delayed posting this entry because I let my $pread subscription lapse and felt like it would make me a liar to post this without my money backing it up. Then I realized that’s silly since I will resubscribe and order the back-issues I missed. And who would know this if I didn’t tell them? Why am I so uptight and guilt-riddled? I also need to finish my site redesign and include more links to things and people I care about.

A little something I just posted on the “Fertile” Trixie blog:

Debating when to take a pregnancy test and whether or not to videotape it

On my birthday (Saint Patrick’s Day) we went for a walk in the woods with our dog. We’ve gotten more rain in the past week than we normally do in our Western Washington “banana belt” location, so the moss and everything seemed a brighter green edging the path.

One of my favorite things about being in the woods with Delia is the way she will point out pretty things, first using their common names and then (if I’m lucky) their Latin names. Was it a flowering quince she pointed out? I can’t remember what it was, only that it had pink buds and the water was behind Delia when she said it. I can hear the sound of the comma between the English and the Latin, even if I can’t remember the words.

As we wandered off the beaten path, Delia notified me that she found a morel:

For the rest of our walk she kept her eyes peeled for more while I just grinned feeling that fortune had smiled upon us. On me, especially.

Today she fried it up in butter and soy sauce and we shared that one small, delicious mushroom. It was better than a birthday cake. The kiss afterwards was salty and slick with grease.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day (and happy 35th birthday to me)!

From a set of photos I’ll be posting later today for members:

Irish girls do it paler and doughier:

Cameltoe in clover green:

*****

We’ve had sex four mornings in a row hoping to fertilize the egg that I popped on Friday. Sunday morning was just for good measure . It really relaxed me so I went back into a blissful sleep afterwards, then got up and spent many hours doing housework. I’m not an efficient cleaning person because I get easily distracted and roam from room to room, but when I just allow myself to enjoy the process it’s actually really soothing to me. It was nice to get away from the computers and pay attention to our surroundings. While we are waiting to find out whether or not our conception attempt was successful I want things to be as calm and relaxing as possible and also focus my energy on grounding myself in my body and home. Peace is a state of being I usually have to work towards to achieve; I would like to practice more to get to the point where it comes more naturally. This is especially important now that I want to become a parent.

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I have a couple of hour-long chats scheduled today so that our members can come in and kiss my ass with birthday well-wishes. They are at noon and nine pm (Pacific Time). I’m also hoping to fit in some time for more personal blogging and some exercise. My family is going to be spending a few days with us later this week to celebrate my birthday so I don’t know how much I’ll be able to accomplish site-wise while they’re here.

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I’d like to point out a few of my favorite free porn galleries I’ve posted over on Trixie.com and explain what I like about them:

RONI OUTSIDE IN A WHITE GOWN
First of all, I really admire Roni, her site, her shows, and her style. And I was *this close* to masturbating to the photo of the water gushing over her feet.

REDHEAD IN A FIELD WEARING CUTOFFS & BIKINI
I confess that anything depicting love between a girl and her horse arouses me. I know that sounds sick and wrong, but just the suggestion of it is enough for me to daydream (which I prefer to anything horrifyingly explicit and real). And I really like the shape of her legs and that she looks like she’s really country.

NAUGHTY JULIE GIVES HEAD
I am a big fan of Naomi Watts/love the way she looks AND I love Julie, so seeing Julie look so much like Naomi in that second clip? SENDS me!

“TEMPTING TRANNY” ANGELINA
This might be the prettiest glam hardcore tgirl gallery I’ve ever seen and I *love* the way the guy is manhandling her; I really love images that show a man’s arms wrapped around a woman with his hands on display on her rear or sides or stomach or thighs. It’s a really potent sight for me, and the guy in this set has really beautiful hands.

TRUTH OR DARE
Those of you who know me probably don’t need me to point out my trigger(s) on this one.

OH MY SIDEBURNS!
Lewdly set up to perfection, and the second clip is just . . . wow. Really fucking hot. And the bare feet, bad teeth & moaning in the last clip? Gah!!! Hotness!!!!

NOT AGAIN, TRIXIE!!

Here’s one of my favorite pictures that we shot over the past two days:

We rented a room in town for a couple of nights to shoot in, but wound up coming home to sleep both nights. We like being in our own bed at home with our dog, plus we are addicted to stupid shows like American Idol and America’s Next Top Model. I feel a little anxious about getting rooms in town for shoots because people are naturally curious why we would get a room when we LIVE here. It makes me even more nervous when we aren’t actually there all night; I’m afraid we’ll arouse suspicion and wind up on some kind of small-town blacklist. Not that we’re doing anything BAD by hauling lights into their rooms and taking nudey pics of each other, but you never know what people will think (they *have* to wonder why we have so many giant pieces of luggage; it probably looks like we’re going to cut up a body or something).

This morning we actually had to set the alarm in order to wake up early enough to have sex, since I may have ovulated last night and we still had to go pick up our luggage from the hotel this morning and take the dog to the vet. I actually got to stay in bed and stew in the sex juice while Delia took care of all of that. Now? I’m editing a gallery of pictures (represented by the above picture) for members and listening to PJ Harvey.

Here’s what I did last week:

Remember how I bought Trixie.com a couple of years ago and haven’t really done anything with it? Well, I am finally making it useful.

As I keep on creating new blogs it’s felt like I needed a better way to collect and post more of my blogging in one place, so that’s what I’m doing on Trixie.com. It’s not that I want to abandon my individual blogs because a lot of people are only interested in one of them and they SHOULD stay topical, but other people might be interested in having MORE all in one place/using one RSS feed.

As you can see there’s also a long column of thumbs leading to free porn galleries I’ve handpicked that I hope people will find entertaining when my blogging is not.

Anyway, I still have a lot of behind-the-scenes fine-tuning and tedious tasks to do to make it work AND a few more important pages to write, but I still think it’s worth visiting as-is. The design is nothing fancy, just a free wordpress template, but I actually really love its format and like the idea of letting the content speak for itself.

I want people who go there to a) remember my name, b) sense that I am a real person and know a little bit about who that person is (and recognize that they could know a whole lot more by sticking around or returning), and c) want to come back.