May Day marked the ninth anniversary of my TastyTrixie.com members-only area opening and the third year of commemorating the event with photos shot by a flowering fruit tree. I love that we were able to make them sort of retro-spooky and shadowy to contrast with everything so seemingly innocent and sunshine-y about being under an umbrella of white cherry blossoms:
Like a lot of nerds, I grew up feeling sort of ashamed of loving books and wanting to spend as much time alone with them as I did. There’s still a shadow side associated with solitude-loving escapists who spend hours lost in stories, and of course people from my generation and earlier turned to them as a source of porno-stimuli. Our public librarian even ratted me out to my mom when I was in fourth grade for checking out books with explicit adult content.
For this photo set I packed a book-picnic consisting of three very differently-told versions of Arthurian Legend: The Mists of Avalon (best ever), Le Morte d’Arthur (which I have almost no desire to read, but I love to smell its leather binding), and my seventh grade copy of The Once and Future King which I feel so sentimental about it almost makes me cry. Okay, it DOES make me cry.
I think I’m only now starting to come to terms with how much time I desire to spend with books and strive to actually make stories an important high-priority part of my life without feeling they’re just a guilty indulgence I don’t deserve and something my dad frittered away time and money on. I’m not a fast reader anymore now that I let my mind wander, I don’t retain much of what I read, and I think finishing books is overrated. But if I would have acknowledged and planned to make book-enjoyment as much of a priority as I should have back when I started webwhoring, I think I might be in a very humble but healthier and more-satisfying position than I am now.
Oh well. You can’t learn everything in books even when they give you the recipe for happiness. Some of us just have to get older and less stupid in small increments. Here’s to learning, regardless of the pace!