The Golden Girls

When people make fun of The Golden Girls I always experience a wave of cognitive dissonance; they dismiss it as something “old” and irrelevantly feminine when I never did and WILL never perceive it that way at all. For me? The Golden Girls was a groundbreakingly progressive, hysterically funny, humanist show. Sitcom television at its very best next to a few others on my list: Laverne & Shirley, The Office, Married with Children and maybe a couple others. In terms of sitcoms having a major inspiring influence on me, The Golden Girls might actually be unparalleled (Laverne & Shirley would be a second, though).

I watched this show with my grandparents and at the time didn’t even realize how dirty, biting and often macabre the jokes were. I watch this show NOW and am amazed by how edgy it STILL is. To me, a pornographer. Suicide Girls? NOT edgy. Sex and the City? Not really edgy. Golden Girls? YOU CAN’T TOUCH THEIR EDGINESS! You can always count on Rose for some naively delivered bestiality stories or to be fucking a midget or a dead guy. One of The Golden Girls fucks a new guy in every episode, but not in that hyperfocused SATC way.

I’m guessing people who mock The Golden Girls have never watched it. If so, the reasons they mock it are telling; it MUST be bad if it’s about old people and ESPECIALLY bad if it’s about old people who are WOMEN. I can’t abide anyone who doesn’t appreciate The Golden Girls or dismisses that show with a condescending chuckle. It’s like a slap in the face from someone with really bad aim; it doesn’t physically hurt, but it makes my blood boil.

When we went to see Sex and the City the movie we all discussed which girl we are or which one other people think we’re most like. And you know what? I’D RATHER BE A FUCKING GOLDEN GIRL. And I don’t mean that as a huge dis to SATC, I really mean The Golden Girls are my idols. I believe that show was more proactively feminist than anything on network television. EVER. When I grow up? I want to be a Golden Girl. I can barely think of a higher aspiration.

Anyway, Rest in peace, Estelle Getty.

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