PREENING AT THE MIRROR
I just spent over an hour doing something I rarely make time for. Something that embarrasses me. Something I can only enjoy alone. I stood in front of my mirror naked, stared at myself, wiggled around, and then tried on a whole bunch of my clothes inspecting the effect on my body in one mirror, then running to the mirror in the other room, and back and forth. Wiggling, squirming, posing, and pouting.

A purple spandex tank dress with matching purple opera length gloves. A sleeveless tangerine sixties dress with white daisies that I specifically bought white boots for . . . and now I realize the dress would look much better with white keds (did you know there are a bunch of ked fetishists out there?). A red silk tie-front flamenco shirt with long dramatic sleeves. Green silk tap pants with an itchy hot pink waistband. My old indigo velvet cocktail dress with cap sleeves and a circular burnout pattern. A baby blue drop-shoulder summerdress with keyhole in the front. A deep red velvet scarf with Very Long Fringe. A beautiful silver scarf Tucker bought for me yesterday. A gold lame Dynasty-style eighties dress with a wrap-front and padded shoulders (this is the most flattering of everything I tried on tonight). I may be forgetting a few things, but you get the picture. Or actually, you don't because I haven't posted photos of me in any of these outfits nor have I modeled any of this for our voyeurs.

I would love to watch someone else's mirror ritual, but it's just way too private and vulnerable a thing for me to enjoy doing in front of other people. I should schedule quiet little sessions like this on our spycams as I'm sure voyeurs would love it, but first I think I need to get into the habit of doing it by myself, for myself much more often. This is especially important just for getting ready for photo shoots. Costuming, especially when you're on a budget, is really complicated for people like me who aren't shopaholics with photographic memories. I can never remember what we own, what we need, where I can find something that matches, etc. It's tricky. I have a lot of clothes I haven't yet "modeled" for shoots; none of them are fancy, but I often hold out waiting to find and be able to afford the right shoes, right location, right panties, etc. Multiply this by three (Trixie, Tucker, and Delia) and costuming is really a full-time job to which I do not devote enough time and reflection. It would be lovely to be able to afford more elaborate attire (corsets, for example, should probably be something of a specialty for me with my natural breasts, nice gams, and poochy belly), but that would probably entail even more hard work and planning.

Fortunately even cheap second-hand clothes and simple outfits still provide lots of inspiration and good results. At least, I think so (though I'm often disappointed with how we're usually just making do with less-than-perfect ensembles). Also, there is plenty of content we can shoot that doesn't rely on fetishistic attire (and I use the term "fetishistic" loosely to include really simple things non-sex workers may not realize are highly fetishized: pantyhose, anklets, white panties, cleavage-displaying blouses, short skirts, gloves, shiny fabrics, etc.). Still -- I need to make more time to remind myself what's in our closets and what my body looks like when I am the only one seeing it.
posted by Trixie at 7/29/2005 09:01:00 PM -