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What’s a smile turned upside down? Something much jollier than a frown, I think!

Just finished paying the bills, balancing the checkbook, assessing money stuff . . . thinking we’re doing all right. January was an expensive month (like, thousands of dollars more than what we budgeted), but we survived it. We stayed warm, ate well and I feel optimistic about February and very focused.

Thank you to everybody who supports us (currently or in the past or will again in the future) as members to our sites, camshow customers, and/or contributing donations, gifts, kind words, or telling other people online about us. You help make our lives dreamy and affirm my excitement over what we’ll be able to do with ourselves and our porn sites next year if we keep our noses to the grindstone in 2012.

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Links to check out:

• this sexy post from Delia about how my feet excite her (including pics of my toes and soles)
• Lightning Allie’s super-interesting post about how being right feels nice, but being wrong is better (I hope some other people comment so as to distract from the long-winded self-centered comments I left)
• pictures of Rugaru and his friends; I hate talking on the phone so I’m really glad I can see a little of what he’s up to on his blog. He’s new to blogging and twitter and stuff so if you have feedback or tips (don’t leave me in charge of showing him all the ropes!) or just some time to let him know you’re checking out where he’s at & going (if indeed you are/want to), I think he would like that.
• I deleted, added, and fixed links to some of the blogs in my sidebar. Still seems insufficient exposure to lots of our friends (and I know I’m probably missing a lot of people) but anyhoo. I really love a lot of those people!

Just so you don’t feel TOO sorry for me, I *do* have garden gloves with rubber-coated fingers and palms:

Don’t worry about my silly complaints about the dearth of heavy-duty work gloves in tiny-hand sizes, because I don’t *actually* need them since I don’t really do any heavy-duty work. My fingers suffered nary a prick the past couple of days.

Sigh.

There was a 100% chance of rain today. Where I grew up that would mean rain ALL DAY. But here it means “it will be pretty cloudy today and at some point a soft spatter might fall down on you”. Both of these places are near Seattle. But so different from Seattle. And each other.

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I love this yard. I love being in it . . . being lost in it . . . becoming invisible to myself outside. That’s one of the very best feelings in the world.

I know very very little about gardening. And I’m very very slow at it, and most yard work in general. I’m not efficient. That’s not the point. Instead I’m very slow. Some of my movements are quick, but overall the progress I make (if any) is SLOW.

I look at the shapes and colors of things. I do a little something. Then I stop and look at the way what I did changed the shapes and colors of things. I walk around and look at it from different angles. I do a little something else. I smell some stuff. I pick  some things up. I put some things down. I move some stuff around.

Pull a little. Claw a little. Touch and smell and breathe a little. Tilt my head slightly. Dig a little. Turn to find the bird.

No, I’m not stoned. But doing these things, alone, without people-words, has exactly the profoundly calming effect I sometimes seek from drugs. Everything is exquisite. Thousands of small spaces invite me in. I’m fucking intrigued by this microcosm and that.

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I want this to be a significant part of my future . . . in all of the weeks I have left to live. I’m scared that I’ll ruin it if we ever have the time and resources to make it perfect, so I tried to promise myself out loud to Delia that we would never ever do that: have a boring perfect garden where the only thing left to do was maintain order. Delia will not let that happen.

One secret might be to always have big trees . . . big overgrowing things that make everything change every year.

Another secret might be to keep being really really really slow.

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The cool thing about this particular yard is that they carefully landscaped it when they built the house, like, fifteen years ago or whatever. Not like housing-development-landscaped, but with islands of native stuff like salal and a few shapes with perennials. And in maybe the ten years past a parade of renters has been through it so it’s grown out of its baby plans and gotten a little crazy in places. But not unmanageably so. Like the fire ring can’t still be where a fire is because the tree closest to it has grown to where its arms are almost reaching out over it. And you should try not to set the fucking trees on fire. That kind of thing.

So there are all of these little nooks where we could do something fairly cheap and simple and turn it into fucking storybook-charming magical. Like for photo shoots and stuff!  But not in a super-gross way. I know, I know . . . not everybody’s cup of tea. Whatever . . . I’m getting off track. I don’t really have to make anything look noticeably different, just do enough to where I’m out of my own head. Like just . . . put some shit into piles and stuff.

The point is that it’s perfect for a garden-novice like me to putter around and make a few sweet things happen without being totally overwhelming. And if any real work needs to be done, Delia knows how to use six hours to completely transform a landscape problem or crazy-ass weed-patch into THERE YOU GO ALL DONE.

It’s mild, muddy and all green and brown outside, with only a few patches of unmelted snow in our yard:

I didn’t even feel chilly standing outside with my legs and bush exposed wearing this thin henley on top:

OKAY . . . so maybe it WAS a little cold!

A picture of the snow and ice melting off the roof over the cabin’s doorway:

A little snow left today in the cracks of the path to the cabin:

I kept track of the hours I worked this week; anything I do today counts as “overtime” . . . so I’m going to try to take it easy and recharge to start next week off with lots of energy. I think Delia and I are going to see a movie. I have to actually plan non-work things to do or I’ll just sit here at my computer(s) working.

It’s supposed to rain and rain and rain for days and days. And they say high winds might blow some (more) trees down. Luckily we haven’t lost power at all; other people (like my mom and Lightning Allie) around Puget Sound have been without power for days. Delia and I have it pretty good up here!

Still wearing the same coat and sweatpants as last year (and years before), but with a vibrant emoticon!

Ahhhh, but here’s a nicer message:

Some more pics from our walk & stuff:

Wild rose bushes in winter.

Thorns, black stars & vitamin C.

Snowy evergreens & deep untrodden snow.

Delia snapping pics of fir cones with her phone.

The cabin, as seen from inside the house this morning:

The cabin, trimmed in snow & icicles.

I’m snug inside there right now, as a matter of fact.

From the set of pictures we took yesterday that I posted last night, looking like your average neighborly housewife in her plaid robe:

Teasing you with the possibility of opening my robe.

Drinking hot coffee out of Delia’s pretty mug in the snowy backyard and flashing my cold jugs. I don’t know what’s going on with my left nipple, but it’s more enormous than I’ve ever seen it before:

My nipples are hard & areolas bumpy from the cold . . . brrr!!

And taking my clothes off . . . for fun, to gauge the temperature . . . and to TEASE you!

Stripping off my robe in the snow.

This robe is a favorite of mine since I was a teenager . . . it’s pretty ragged, but I can’t bear to part with it.

About to throw open my robe for a big flash!

There are 138 pictures in this picture set for members. Zip file includes all images at 1600 pixels on the long side.

Drinking coffee, flashing my beaver.

JOIN HERE if you want to see them all and read the cuddly little fantasy I wrote to go alongside it!

Snow on my nude body.

It’s still snowing here! We took a walk in it for fun and to snap some nudie pics this morning . . . it’s super powdery. I’ll post more pics here tonight.

Phew! My period started today.

Would love to share more about my day, but it’s getting late & there’s lots to do tomorrow.

There are still remnants of Christmas shit all over the towns and countrysides. I think part of a recession is that people put up shittier/fewer strings of saggy lights, but that makes them less pressured to take them down. Behold! Strings of saggy shitty lights!! Happy fucking New Year!!! This melted candy cane is for you, America!!!!!!!

Me, as a suggestive porn monkey eating a banana for a lunch snack today:

Outside my cabin window moments ago:

The sky right now is actually a threatening blue-bruised heavy grey.

I have to take care of the bills. And an assortment of other things.

I was over an hour late taking my birth control pill today. So much cum in me. At least one load almost every day.

I like doing shows with the returning cam customer who last night said, “oh yeah . . . show my those udders . . . those cow udders hanging down,” and said he wants to get me pregnant so he can milk them. I like hearing his voice when he talks about my “filthy cunt”.

A lot of you might not understand this, but I think he’s a really nice guy and I totally enjoy doing shows with/for him. He’s very polite and considerate and likes to talk to me after he cums even though it’s not a requirement for me to appreciate his patronage.

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You have no idea how much is going on here at our house and inside of us and each other. Maybe if you’re watching on our spycams, though, you’ve seen the fucking, the hours upon hours of talking, the exhaustion, the late late nights, the fucking, the pictures being taken, the working, the dancing and leaping and hugging, the cleaning and even some crying.

Amazed that I’m not only still standing, but thriving on multiple levels. Even more amazed by Delia and Rugaru.