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Archive for the ‘friends’ Category

A quick post to share a couple of my favorite 12-second booty-shaking videos of our friend AmberLily:

I like U2, what about you? on 12seconds.tv

G’morning bootie shake! on 12seconds.tv

I do not have the athletic ass-shaking skills, but I *did* get some very nice feedback from a couple in Finland about one of my cutest and least appreciated assets: my jiggly TUMMY! I love our European members and I love reading compliments that are charmingly ESL (English as a Second Language, or probably one of many):

Hi Trixie,

You have a lot of great pics in members area. Your body is very beautiful and you have cute face, also without make-up. It´s also really sensuous to see your hairy twat and armpits, especially. As well your tits are just perfect such as your shiny, slim 10 points legs. Butts…they are so incredible…and hips miraculous womanly. But guess what…? Best part of your perfectness is belly. Frankly i can say it´s one of sexiest and pictoresquest belly that i have ever seen. My wife also like to watch your pics, and she thinks that your wonderful woman.

Thanks for making my day with that email (and to everyone else who writes; I just happened to be struck by the loveliness of this one today and felt like sharing)!

Back in 2001 there were more teasey story-porn pictorials around; I loved them for the buildup and wish we had time to make all (or a lot) of our porn like that.

Here are a couple of 2009 examples from a couple of my favorite web chicks:

Sequoia Redd with Brandi Belle in the Penis Pump Challenge

Poor Cinderella

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I’d *love* to do a brain dump here of all the blog-drafts in my head, but I’m starving and trying hard to stop feeling guilty and worried about mistake(s) I/we made. I feel like we don’t have enough time or money to do anything RIGHT, but the truth is we do a lot of things right and fucking up every so often and doing some things half-assed a lot shouldn’t erase all of that. Plus I need to stop kidding myself that perfection is attainable with time and money. It’s not. It never will be. We could have all the time and hired help and money in the world and we’d STILL make mistakes. In fact, we’d probably have the resources to make even more of them with more embarrassing consequences.

Reminding myself: progress, not perfection. Promptly admit when I am wrong. Make amends. Use my own mistakes as a reminder not to judge other people so harshly.

One of my best (and former camgirl) friends just started blogging about her and her husband’s adventures in Swinging in the Suburbs. I knew from talking to her they’d been exploring and playing around more, but there’s something extra delicious about reading her BLOG about it with lots of juicy details and careful thought about different approaches to swinging and what feels right for her.

It’s  hard to describe how excited I got reading her stories; they’re exciting all on their own, of course, but because I am so fond of her (and maybe because I had a threesome with her and her husband) it’s extra gratifying to have this voyeuristic window into how much fun they’re having. They are beautiful, really nice people who deserve to have a good time and are role models to me for their strong and sexually healthy marriage, among a great many other traits I admire.

Reading stories like her latest puts a huge smile on my face because I *know* what her gorgeous smile looks like and how flexible her legs and hips are and exactly what her big boobs feel like and what she sounds like when her pussy’s getting eaten. You might know a few of those things too if you remember her as Prettyface/Sabrina back in her camming days!

From a more generic perspective, I also really appreciate that she isn’t one of these people making up a bunch of bullshit about her exploits or pretending that everything is perfect and totally orgasmic all of the time; being in a healthy relationship(s) doesn’t necessarily mean having tons of sex all of the time. I also think it’s important for people to know more in a general way about the varieties of sex people are having — that are POSSIBLE to have — in committed, straight relationships. It’s funny to compare people’s expectations and perceptions of couples like Delia and I — making porn and being viewed as sexual deviants for a whole host of reasons while being very stay-at-home monogamous in practice — with people’s expectations and perceptions of couples like Sab and her husband who look like (and are) your typical white bread suburban family. At a glance, they would be conservative America’s poster children for marriage and indeed they ARE, but for kinkier, more open reasons that the casual observer could see with a superficial glance.

Anyway, it’s one of those things giving me pleasure lately and helping me feel connected to people I adore that we live too far (half the country away) from to see often. I’m looking forward to reading more posts in the weeks, months and years to come!

If I were a weatherman describing my outlook, I’d offer up pathos-riddled contradictions.

Sky at 4:23 pm, November 3rd, 2009

I don’t know if I feel depressed today the past three days because I didn’t get enough sleep, or if I’m not getting enough sleep because I’m depressed.

I started to go into a little more detail/troubleshooting/description but deleted it because I don’t feel like hashing it out right now; it’s boring stuff, really, about too much dreaming, supplements I’ve tried, seratonin levels in weirdos, discussions with my psychiatrist, blah blah blah.

Anyway, the GOOD news is that depression reminds me how heartbreakingly beautiful music sounded to me in the eighties. Goodbye horses indeed.

No, no no . . . the REALLY GOOD NEWS is that AmberLily is coming over tomorrow. It’s the last time we’ll get to hang out with them before they move back to California, which is also good news (because that is home for them and where they most want to be) except that it means that we’ll miss them/won’t live semi-close to each other anymore. Keep your fingers crossed that we’ll all get rich someday or at least comfortable enough that we can visit each other often. Or at least pay off our credit cards and drive our beater van down the coast without worrying too much about how we’ll pay two dozen credit card bills if we break down and get stuck.

Even though it sucks that everyone’s strapped for cash these days and on the brink of losing everything, there’s something romantic about it, too. It makes everything feel more real. Shitty, but more real. That’s one of the seductive things about depression, I think, especially when you’ve had it your whole life . . . it just feels more real and like anything better would be fake. AND SO MUCH FUCKING EFFORT, with all the smiling involved.

FYI: I don’t think putting this redesign of my blog on the front page of TastyTrixie.com has been good for business. So I guess publishing this gloomy post can’t make anything much worse. But seriously, I invite you to laugh, not cry – it won’t last forever and things are not as grim as they sound, captured here like this with a black and white photo. Though I am keeping comments closed on this one. I probably just, like, ate too much sugar this week or something.

We’ve been working on a new site, TrixieAndFriends.com. Sounds pretty exciting, right? Like maybe it’s all about me sexing up my buddies? But actually, it’s not. It’s much more practical and mundane than that.

TrixieAndFriends.com is mostly just a preview blog showing our most recent updates (and eventually a categorized, searchable catalog of all of our porn going back to when each of our sites opened so that members can find what they want; THAT is going to take weeks/months of data entry to compile). No one will actually be able to JOIN TrixieAndFriends.com, instead it links to each of the sites in our network so people still have to pick who they want to support, but AmberLily and Delia and some of our members are keen to have a members-only forum/bulletin board so we WILL have a protected area on the site for that.

We’ve been using the members-only area of SpyOnUs for members to go to and see network-wide updates, but it was clunky and not very inclusive — DEFINITELY not searchable, so TrixieAndFriends.com is replacing & greatly improving what we were doing there (we also need to totally revamp SpyOnUs.com to make it strictly about voyeurism, our behind-the-scenes stuff, and of course our SPYCAMS). If any of you techy people are wondering why we don’t have a CMS to do all of this for us, the main reason is that each of the sites in our network is unique and independently owned/operated; we have no desire to standardize everything or force everyone to use one of the limited and difficult scripts on the market.

I feel self-conscious and narcissistic about buying and using the domain, TrixieAndFriends.com, for this (like how I keep saying it over and over? TRIXIE AND FRIENDS DOT COM!!!), but wanted to hurry up and DO IT and couldn’t come up with any brandable, inclusive, open-ended domain that would describe our network and allow for indie sites of any stripe to network with us down the road. Anything with the word “webwhore” in it is off-putting to many and brings to mind the kind of hardcore, stereotyped sites that are pretty much the opposite of what our sites are about (not that I, personally, am ever going to stop calling myself a webwhore, it’s just not a good moniker for everyone). I could come up with a lot of generic and good domain names, but they didn’t feel like anything I thought people would remember and associate with us, though IndiePornPass was one we tossed around, but what if we make sites for tech-incompetent little hotties down the road? What then? It might feel a little deceptive. I suppose, though, that we might network with people who aren’t really great “friends”,  but I think people are used to that term being used loosely (and I *do* love loose friends!).

Speaking of friends (the great kind, not the loosely used), it’s AmberLily’s birthday! One of the things people don’t seem to notice much about AmberLily’s site is that she does assloads of private webcam shows every week, practically every DAY, and those shows are archived in both streaming video and snapshot formats so her site is basically updated every day with a really wide variety of role plays, masturbation, and hot little outfits and fetish attire like pantyhose, gloves, bodystockings, schoolgirl skirts, shiny satin panties, etc. Whenever porn review sites look at her site this fact is rarely mentioned or, if it is, is given very short shrift. It pretty much happens to all webcam content. Instead of being highly valued the way it SHOULD be, reviewers are so unused to seeing it that they don’t get it and just focus on what they’re used to: generic photos and videos. They don’t understand that webcam grabs ARE jerkworthy even though they aren’t HD. It’s frustrating, to put it mildly.

Anyway, my hope is that at least OUR members will see and appreciate (in that very special way they have) how consistently hard AmberLily works and the range of her special offerings. Before announcing TrixieAndFriends I wanted to have all of our October updates catalogued there, but we’re only maybe halfway through representing the days AmberLily has added archived shows. Still, I think it’s already apparent what she’s doing, even if few people really have a clue how much she puts into it, especially considering the heavy burdens and gigantic stressors she and her hubby have been thrown this year.  She’s not the type to complain or let on when the chips are down and she’s under so much pressure that a normal person would just be curled in a ball in bed with a variety of prescription-strength sedatives so I don’t think most of her fans REALIZE. Also, I don’t think she really WANTS to hash over that stuff — she wants to do a good job on cam for her customers and let her mind be taken off all of that bullshit.

Point is, it’s her birthday, I hope it’s a great one for her and that she is rewarded for all of her hard work (and hotness). The week already started out in tears for her when their favorite cat and beloved pet of many years succombed to cancer, so . . .  yeah. If I could, I would shower her with a trip to Disneyland, piles of Star Wars toys, and as many hugs as she could tolerate.

Normally when you hear “camgirl” and “stroke” you think of masturbation. Unfortunately our online pal UndressJess experienced a different kind of stroke yesterday.

Some of us who follow her twitter account noticed a couple of really jumbled tweets from her, plus one saying she was on her way to the hospital. I finally got ahold of her on her cell phone this afternoon; she is in the hospital BECAUSE SHE HAD A STROKE.

Undress Jess

She was able to speak fairly coherently, though she stopped and apologized a couple of times because it’s hard for her to organize her thoughts. Apparently the main thing is that SHE CAN’T READ and is pretty worried wondering how she’ll be able to work on her site, camming, blogging, promoting herself, etc. when she totally can’t READ. It’s like weird instant dyslexia.

It’s really hard to imagine being so young, living alone and becoming disabled overnight. You never know how long (if ever) after a stroke you’ll regain the function(s) you lost, but if I heard her correctly the estimate is about a year for her to be able to read again. Apparently the only guess being made as to why this happened to her is from her birth control pills. Yes, fuckers, STROKE is one of the risks of being on hormonal birth control. So next time you hear a guy complain about using a fucking condom, pull out this little gem. Risk of stroke isn’t just a bunch of tiny words on a pill pack insert no one reads.

Rad Camgirl Undress Jess

Needless to say, she won’t be on cam or updating her site or doing daily shows the way she normally does so I hope her fans read this and try to be supportive. Her main site is UndressJess.com but she also has awesome booty-shaking vids on shakinit AND a clip site if you can only afford to purchase one or two videos. It’s hard to imagine what an extended hospital stay and disability can do to a single, independent camgirl/site owner financially.

Note: I’m not going to keep calling her while she’s in the hospital and if I do talk to her again anytime soon the conversations will no doubt be brief and about work stuff, so I can’t say that I’ll have updates for you or pass messages along to her, I just want people to be aware of her situation and do what they can to support her work online and be patient while she’s absent and struggling with what happened to her brain. If you have a blog, it would be great if you could repost this.

Some of you’ve been wondering how our family get-together with my brother went after my agonizing in this post; fortunately, it went fine but I’m still so glad it’s OVER so I can stop stressing out over it.

We made the trek out to my mom’s yesterday and had a fairly nice visit. Sometimes I worry that Delia’s just receding into the background and that some of that’s my fault, but then it always seems that one person in a couple is the quiet hanger-back. Like my brother’s wife who mostly hung out in the kitchen. Some people are so quiet and pleasant those of us who are more obnoxious just naturally steamroll them.

Anyway, there was no mean-spirited or overt bullshit to be had towards us, though I did wonder when thank you’s for the presents we brought came from the kids and I got all the hugs and thanks why that was . . . because I’m the one who’s actually related to them (though haven’t seen them in eight years, since one was newborn)? Because Delia’s trans? Because I didn’t do a good job of introducing Auntie Delia? Or just because I was the one standing there with open arms, like “HUG YOUR AUNTIE, DAMMIT!” while Delia was behind me on the couch and less accessible/approachable/talkative? And then that firm handshake my brother gave Delia after hugging me goodbye seemed to have an awkward masculine edge to it, but whatever.

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On our way home from our family visit we got together briefly with AmberLily and her husband (Tiny aka BigD) who is too witty and well-read for me to get his jokes which mostly seem to consist of teasing us for being Democrats. They go right over my head and I wind up staring at him, completely bewildered, wishing I could keep up. Fortunately he’s nice enough to try to meet in the middle, patiently reminding me, for example, of my Third Amendment rights (so I could understand the joke he was making) even when I obtusely ignored his explanation. Maybe if we got to spend more time hanging out then AmberLily wouldn’t have to try to translate for us, “and now BigD is joking; that was a reference to the obscure blank and blankety blank.” Anyway, I hope I haven’t gotten them banned from their local McDonald’s because I kept saying the “F” word and loudly talking about wet WET pussy, something I’m far more familiar with than our Constitution.

My point is, I love them and BigD should be an internet celebrity.

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Normally when we go back to the area east of Seattle where I grew up I’m thankful we don’t live there, but yesterday the summer air was too seductive and familiar for me to not want to have more of it. It smelled heavily of home, especially driving through shady places along rivers. My mom’s yard felt so lush and green and bushy and the porch was so . . . porchy? With the screen door? Our dog looked like she was going to melt right into the cool grass, unlike here where all the grass is dry, short, and totally dead. It smells like saltwater and high wind and dry things where we live, but where I grew up it smells like a humid valley in the summer where every dog bark is magnified – sounds don’t blow away where I grew up. I hate that, but it’s still home.

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Little cell phone pic on our way home.

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Delia’s putting the finishing touches on the letter she’s writing to her parents who still don’t know she’s trans.