Easter Goodness: Cute AND Cummy!

Last year I painted Delia’s balls like Easter Eggs and took pictures and video of her doing a holiday-appropriate fertility kind of thing, culminating in creamy egg-filling landing on a dandelion.

You know dandelions are edible, right? And so is creamy egg filling! Cum-eating is one of my wife’s specialties. I’d say she does it in over half of her videos, and I think this is the PERFECT time of year to combine cuteness with cumminess!

This year she posted the Easter Bunny picture set; we shared thirty of my favorites over on her blog if you want to see more!

My shadow is not in ANY of those thirty pictures, by the way … but this is definitely my preferred format for making appearances these days: barely visible. Just a hint of Trixie. SHADOW Trixie! Man-behind-the-camera Trixie. Sunshine-on-my-shoulders Trixie.

As the days get longer I do feel more like coming out. More hopeful I’ll feel more visibly radiant one of these days soonish.

Staying off of social media helps. Easter is actually the one day I specifically resolved a few years ago to never look at what other people are saying or doing. I may not need to do anything to celebrate Easter myself, but I do find a lot of joy in a wide variety of Easter stories, rituals, traditions, etc. Including the story of the resurrection of Jesus.

While I appreciate and understand criticisms of Christianity — like how paganism was co-opted, perverted, criminalized and lethally punished by Christians, and Easter is a particularly good example of that — I’m still fed by some of those stories I grew up with. When you’re a kid, those things are real and bible stories are some of the first paranormal stories you hear and see PICTURES with rays of sunshine breaking out in all kinds of tragic places. The image of the stone being rolled away and the mystery and hope of his body being gone, and of him appearing to people who loved him afterwards are beautiful stories that most people need in one form or another.

While the Christian stories are understandably stupid and/or too inextricably tied to ugliness and horror for many people (and nobody should be forced to honor or respect what is just pure scary bullshit to them), some of us still love simple aspects of those stories and want to bask in the rapture of them. The stuff that old songs are about that have made people throw their heads back and arms into the air for centuries, craving love and relief and for magic to be real, or at least to suspend disbelief long enough to enjoy the stories that tell us they are so. It just feels more powerful when you participate in it with your voice and body.

On Easter I don’t want to be around or listen to people who tell me not to fuck outside like rabbits or not to believe in Jesus. Neither one of those peoples do I want to listen to so much, or share my voice or body or suspension of disbelief with. Which is part of why I’m being invisible a lot lately. And it is good.

 

Thanksgiving Cam Competition

Delia & I are spending Thansgiving apart and working all weekend … including having a friendly little competition to see which one of us can make more money on cam during the holiday!

Trixie and Delia on cam

Which one of us do you think will make more money on cam during the holiday?

I’m pretty sure Delia will have no problem kicking my ass, but little games like this motivate me. Even when I know I won’t win. Otherwise I probably wouldn’t even shower today, let alone put on makeup and get on cam.

Where to go on TrixieCams for chat & camshows with us: MY PROFILE | DELIA’S PROFILE

If I hadn’t already sold Delia on this little informal contest earlier this week, I’d just play the webmaster game today like a dude would: INVISIBLY. I started building an app for our fans the other night, and I’m so excited about it I really just want to work on that until it’s ready for you guys to install & enjoy!

Pregnant for 22 Hours

 

Delia and I went to the doctor and got some very unexpected news a couple of days ago:

Maybe we shouldn’t have immediately tweeted about it and told a few choice members of our families … but it was probably the only chance we’ll have of telling people that news. It was fun while it lasted! Stressful, but overall a bizarre-yet-positive learning and bonding experience for us. And it was so lovely reading all of the excitement and congratulations from you folks online – thank you so much for being so happy for us!

You are good people, and we experienced your well-wishes and hopes for the best to happen as real love. I hope for all of us to thrive and be joyfully aware of how much new life is around and IN us EVERY DAY, and nurture that in ourselves and each other.

IMG_7859


If you want to read more about what we went through a decade ago trying to get pregnant before Delia could move forward with HRT (hormone replacement therapy) and her transition, check out my blog archives at FertileTrixie.com. I still want to explore and share more about that experience and what I learned from it: that having difficulty conceiving doesn’t mean you aren’t fertile in tons of potent and amazing ways. Also I love a lot of fertility-related fetishes and taboos.

The doctor didn’t seem concerned about the false positive (which I’ve always heard is super fucking rare / weird to get), so I am going to follow up with my GP to see if there’s something wrong with me that caused it. Maybe I have a big huge hairy toothy ovarian cyst growing inside me, or a stone baby! It would explain so much, and be so much easier to take care of the fruit of our loins if we had her contained in a jar of formaldehyde.

 

Check out our Homemade Porn

JOIN my wife’s site

get instant access to mine, too!

 

Enjoy all of our intimate members-only content | easy to cancel | non-recurring options available

15 Years (and a Decade) Ago

The first time Delia told me she loved me was 15 years ago … the day my dad died. I wish he’d been able to know her … he would have loved her so much. Their loving kindness and senses of humour are so exceptional and similar.

And just over ten years ago, near Mother’s Day of 2007, is when Delia decided to transition. My memory of that day and her announcing this beautiful change is one of the happiest and most hopeful, joyful memories in my whole entire life.

I fervently wish for everyone to be able to be their best, happiest, truest, most green-growing radiantly-thriving selves, and be surrounded by love, safety and the certainty that we all want the very best for each other, and allow each other the freedom to determine what is best for themselves. It may not be true today, and it doesn’t seem probable … but it is possible, and I want to focus on believing that kernel of goodness is in everyone as much as our capacity for fear, willfully self-centered comfortable ignorance, and cruelty.

 

Check out our Homemade Porn

JOIN my wife’s site

get instant access to mine, too!

 

Enjoy all of our intimate members-only content | easy to cancel | non-recurring options available

Catching Up with Summer

Just got home last night. Been gone way too much this month: almost half the month. One of one of my orchid’s buds burst open while I was gone.

white orchid flower

I have a lot of catching up to do with the blackcaps and other berries in the backyard.

blackcaps

The amount of good I feel from yardwork (which for me is very slow and meditative and not super productive) is HUGE. Cutting back prickly little vines and salal reaching too far into pathways. Moving small piles of the prickly vines & leaves from wherever to The Big Pile. Watering & pulling weeds occasionally.

butterfly bush, salal & daisy flower arrangement

Here’s a glimpse of one of the things we did while I was in Seattle:

Delia tenting in maxi dress

I love my wife in long knit maxi dresses. JOIN NOW for all of her “tenting” pics & videos!

Other things I did over the weekend in Seattle:

  • called 911 on the way after neighbor called to alert me to suspicious dude on our property
    • felt super grateful for how much lithium orotate is helping my brain because without it I would never have been able to hold multiple stressful conversations on the phone while in crowded ferry terminal, WALKING, etc.
  • we celebrated a belated mother’s day with my mom
    • took her to brunch at Salty’s & cruised Alki afterwards
    • watched Hello My Name is Doris
  • resolved to watch more movies in our building’s theater room
  • walked through & past all of the drunk Mariners fans & the stadium(s)
    • finally bought contemptible vaping supplies for easier consumption of headache medicine. And stuff.
      • grudgingly became a convert to vaping
    • restrained myself from impulsive potential porno opportunity with beautiful young man
      • regretted so thoroughly restraining myself
  • played games on my phone while Delia listened to streaming Phish concerts
  • shot a couple sets of pics & videos for DeliaTS.com
  • ate delicious foods
  • made more shoot plans / did prep work for upcoming shoots & trips
  • discussed DeliaTS.com redesign, took notes on what Delia wants for it, mocked up some things, bought & played with some fonts
  • Bused / walked to & from the naked lady spa where I spent a day alone
    • unexpected SURPRISE ride on double-decker Sound Transit bus!
      • I got to sit
        • up top!
        • in the very front seat!!
        • ON THE WATER SIDE!!!
    • tried not to feel bad about spending money on a spa day
      • I haven’t been there in over a year … jesus!
  • had a PMS-exacerbated rare pouty spat with Delia upon my return
    • was again super grateful for the lithium keeping me way more balanced than I’d normally be … and for how calm Delia is about such things (although super frustratingly yet blessedly impossible to actually FIGHT with)
  • we put a date night with each other on the calendar: too much of our time with each other lately has been work or family or just trying to recover from work &/or family
  • enjoyed lunch Delia prepared & amazing view with each other on the top floor of our building

 


We always want Bremerton to beat Bainbridge.

A photo posted by Trixie Fontaine (@tastytrixie) on



 

  • got ORCA cards
    • even with research online, was prepared for it to be more difficult than it should be
      • no white people in positions where they should be able to help folks procure ORCA cards knew fuck all about how to go about it; black guy whose job it was not to help me (pretty sure he was a ferry boat captain), helped me with MULTIPLE options and very clear instructions & directions for each of them
  • finally dropped in at the Seattle Mystery Bookshop
  • realized my backpack was way too heavy to be carrying so far after putting it all into a big suitcase and even though it has wheels realized it’s WAY TOO HEAVY, even not on my back
  • enjoyed the ferry terminal & ride while high because the vaping thing makes it way too convenient to do so
  • made an awkward dorky ass of myself alternately trying to / not to flirt with someone in the ferry terminal
  • drank too much coke zero because my throat felt scratchy (yes, even though it’s just VAPOR … whatever, stoners) so even though I peed on the ferry the bus rides home were kind of torture
  • was picked up & driven home by friend who saw & pitied me on my long walk with enormous heavy suitcase
    • delivered home in time to not burst bladder
  • discovered house safe and sound and apparently not broken into!

It’s good to be home.

jammy wild blackberries

The ones that get dry-looking in the sun without getting smutty are the JAMMIEST!

 

Cabin roof / skylight in the background

Cabin roof / skylight in the background

unprofessional flower arrangement

Our Easter Surprise

20160326_160146x1200

Plastic eggs make sweet Easter tree-jewels! People make things humbly special in our town. Less like strip malls, more like old-fashioned home. And it is home to me, so of course I was here alone for Easter time, wandering around outside enjoying springtime.

A couple of days later Delia (my wife) came home to me and we had the BEST time. Since we’ve basically been living and working in different places for a couple of years — her in our Seattle studio, me in our out-here home — we’re finally getting the hang of taking REAL DAYS OFF TOGETHER (instead of everything overlapping with work as self-employed work-at-home webwhores). Taking real days off together makes me very happy.

It was a sunny day so we did one of my favorite together-things; took our car to the car wash & vacuumed it out! But first Delia told me to go out back and look around.

sweet Easter goodies

Some of my sweet favorites!

She got me bunny bubbles and other treats!

We did a bunch of errands and stopped at the self-serve farmstand bursting with daffodils and other flowers, and a book I’ve been wanting to read for a long time (Oryx and Crake) was in the free book box.

20160329_122047

20160329_121946

20160329_122136

For dinner we drove to our favorite place to get burgers in the next town over. We love sitting in our car to eat, especially when the sky is so blue and the temperature promisingly warm without being hotter than blazes.

20160329_164309

Usually part of our burger date includes stopping on the way home at the lot full of used cars, trucks, boats, trailers and RV’s. We like to just walk around and look at what’s there. But the lot was pretty empty and we were tired and ready to get home so Delia decisively declined when I asked if she wanted to do the usual.

So we drove straight home stopping only for some groceries.

And when we were less than a mile from home … our car stopped running.

Pulled over on the side of the road, she tried to get it to start again. She checked a couple of things under the hood, couldn’t find anything obvious wrong, and wanted to stay and work on it … but I wanted to walk home so I could pee and not worry about it for awhile, and come back with clearer heads. I had to talk her into that part (it’s always interesting when Delia is a: really decisive/not super flexible feeling, and/or b: anxious … because it’s rare she’s either of those things and I kind of enjoy the way our roles change when that happens).

The whole time Delia & I have been together we’ve only driven old &/or beater cars that were given to us for free or sold to us for cheap; as a result we have enough practice with cars breaking down (and Delia is often able to fix them herself or at least knows enough about what’s wrong to make good decisions about paying for repairs). At this point it’s one of the few things that doesn’t give me the kind of anxiety attack you’d expect and just sort of makes me feel grateful because so far it’s never put us in a super dangerous situation, and this car especially has managed to break down maybe half a dozen times but always delivers us VERY CLOSE TO HOME or right where we can get help without causing a traffic nightmare before it gives up, even when we’ve been on long treks a hundred+ miles away.

We came back later as it grew dark and she tried and tried a bunch of things. But honestly my mind was pretty much made up to retire this car. There were a bunch of problems with it, including the transmission, and I didn’t want to worry about it breaking down anymore. It has served us really well. It was a relief and a sign to me when it broke down this time. But Delia felt a bit stressed out about it.

The role reversal of her overthinking and spinning her wheels while I am calm and at peace with a decision makes me feel a lot of tenderness for her, and gratitude for the ways we balance each other out. The moments when I am not crazy and struggling with her soothing me are FEW, so it’s a relief when *I* am sure, and *I* am calm.

20160329_204502

 

All of these years together and the more time that passes, the more I feel like everything’s going to be okay. And that everything is so much BETTER than okay right now.

Pin It on Pinterest