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My back hurts. And that’s not all.

This was now, 4 pm outside the cabin on January 1st.

Wearing only the necklace my 5-year old necklace picked out for me for Christmas:

Natural nude Trixie in winter light

I love this art pendant . . . it’s bright blue with an elephant blowing bright pink colors out of her trunk.

My boobs & Christmas necklace

The sound it makes around my neck and against my clothes when I bend over and stand up again is of a magic toy or a cheap pocketwatch or some kind of emergency medicine. I never would have picked it out for myself, so I really love the surprise of cherishing this treasure.

With The Hunter’s wet-from-my-pussy cock in my small hand.

Shot by TH mere moments ago.

Dim light coming through skylight in my cabin's loft.

I don’t know how many nights and days Delia’s boyfriend has been here now. How many nights I’ve slept by myself in the cabin. How many times we’ve fucked. In what variations. How many times we’ve come. How many hours of sleep lost. How much work left undone.

Watching Worf leading a Tai Chi class on Star Trek: Next Gen

I’m surprised and confused by liking so much of this as much as I do. I’m distressed by the vulnerability of wanting more of it / not wanting Delia’s boyfriend aka The Hunter to leave yet.

But he went grocery shopping and made lasagna and says I should let him clean my toilet. And Delia loves him. And he’s a big Star Trek: The Next Generation fan, too. And made me feel better after this by saying what a good Captain he thinks Kathryn Janeway is.

The Hunter serving up lasagna he made.

All of the talking and phone noises and not-knowing-what-next tires me out. Or maybe all of the not-sleeping tires me out. And worry over not getting “enough” done. And being totally overstimulated.

But when we were all in bed talking about ST: Voyager and The Hunter changed the subject from an argument over our diverging opinions of Chakotay by asking, “can you imagine being able to hold it together after finding your little ship thrown however-many parsecs or light years away from home and not knowing if you’ll ever get back?” It reminded me of  one of my coping tools:

Sometimes when my eyeballs feel like they’re about to pop out of my head from the force of my frustration and I start hyperventilating and looking around for things to throw out the window (or AT the window while it’s still closed so they’ll both make satisfyingly loud shattering sounds), I try to calm down by asking myself, “what would I do if I were an Officer on the Starship Enterprise? I certainly wouldn’t behave like this, even if WebWhore Headquarters were about to blow up in forty-five seconds!” Patience! Faith in one’s own problem-solving abilities! Barely a sense of urgency: just a confident, one-step-at-a-time pursuit of a solution with nary a raise in my heart rate.

If our lives right now were an episode of Star Trek, it would be one of my all-time favorites. With me as a cross between Quark, Barclay, and a special busty guest who loves cock.

*****

There is a loving, guiding friend in our (especially Delia’s and now The Hunter’s) lives who says something about salvation being a word that actually means homecoming. To be welcomed home into a family of people who know and love you at a fundamental level . . . to FIND your home, or make a new right one. We long for salvation, to be embraced by people who recognize us as a child of good no matter what mistakes we’ve made or how broken and fucked up we are.

*****

I started weeping when Delia played the Jerry Garcia Band cover of The Maker and couldn’t finish eating my lasagna in bed.

Not shot today, but posted as part of a 128-image gallery for members tonight:

I'm a woman in a shower. NAKED!

Sorry for my mini-slack from nudie pics of the day . . . been super tired and muscle-sore from our threesome which did not allow time for more than 2 hours of sleep. Plus some more boring projects. So here’s some more:

Steamy shower and natural boobs

Butt and dark wet muff of pubic hair in shower

My soapy big natural tits, dripping wet.

Happily spending the holiday at home alone together, just Delia and I . . . plus the quiche she made.

My sister and her family are with my brother-in-law’s family in the Midwest, and we celebrated with my mom by spending an evening in Seattle with her last week, so we’re off the hook today and can just enjoy being in our magical house together, lazily watching television and the trees swaying and the rain falling.

Tomorrow and Saturday we’re planning to do a lot of camming! You can find Delia here and ME over HERE, and/or if you’re a member of ours catch our group shows.

I do have more than this to say…

It is so warm and bright blue sky-ed, I can’t believe it’s supposed to snow tomorrow! The sun is blindingly bright:

I could have stood naked in the sun for hours even though it just hailed half an hour ago:

A little bonus with my heavy hangers:

Even if it does snow tomorrow, it’s only going to be cute for a few minutes before it melts, making our trip to Seattle to spend the evening with my mom PERFECTLY SAFE and stressless. Right? RIGHT!

Thanks to my love, Delia, for continuing to drop what she’s doing to snap these naked pics of me. We got into a spat last night because of how I micromanage everything and am really hypercritical (last night it was about careful placement and handling of the spycams), so it’s not really a simple walk in the park to shoot these when “I’m like NO NO NO I want it THIS way!!” Or “THAT way!!” Somehow we still manage to have fun doing them, though.