TastyTrixie.com

Archive for the ‘porn consumers’ Category

Here’s an email I got the other day from someone trying to decide whether or not to join my site:

Hey, sexy, I am thinking about joining your site. How many nice videos do you have in there? Do you do any fart video?

Out of all the emails I get that deserve responses, choosing to spend time replying to this one PROBABLY wasn’t wise or fair, but I did write back to say this:

Hi there! I don’t have any fart videos (well actually I have one, but it’s such a small and insignificant fart, it barely warrants mentioning). What I do have are spycams upon which patient voyeurs with audio enabled can sometimes hear me farting or even see me lifting my cheek to do so. No guarantees of when or how often or that you would catch it, though.

I don’t know how many videos I have at this point, and I’m not sure how many you would consider to be “nice” since that is a highly subjective term. Most people who join my site are into the whole “package” that I offer, both as a strange and wonderful human being AND as a porn site proprietress, and statistics barely enter into their decision of whether or not to join.

Good luck in making yours!

*Trixie*

It’s not that I think his questions aren’t legit, I’m just reluctant to hand out quantified guarantees of satisfaction to people who are reluctant to join without them since I doubt they will be happy with my site (especially in this case when I don’t have content to make a die-hard fart fetishist happy, even though I probably have MORE to offer him than other non-fart-focused porn sites).

Mostly I answer emails like this one because it’s so freeing to be flip, especially when the person expects me to do everything I can to convince him to buy and I’m just not going to. It’s so much easier to communicate with people I *know* I can’t make happy than it is to write back to the people who really want to hear from me and whose opinions I genuinely care about. I feel guilty for it, but there it is.

*****

I have a lot (even more than usual) of maintenance, (re)design, and promo work to do on a lot of our sites so that’s where I’m focusing most of my computer time. We have an appointment with Delia’s therapist on Tuesday to talk about coming out to her family about her transition so that will probably be our day off for the week since we have to traverse a few counties to get there/won’t be home most of the day.

Next week we’ve rented a room to shoot fancier photo sets with hosiery, etc. than we’ve been doing lately. I’m excited because the walls are PURPLE! You have no idea how much of my webwhore happiness depends on shooting in colorful locations. In the first two weeks of August we’ll need to focus on shooting a lot, too, so we won’t be posting galleries shot in the same exact place for two months straight.

I have a couple of really exciting things to blog about but just wanted to post something quickly today to stay in touch and let you know where we’re focusing. Twitter’s been down a lot so I haven’t been able to do it there reliably (and am worried Twitter’s downtime is effecting the way our members see our members-only area since it won’t load the rest of the page until it tries to load our tweets). I should redesign that, too, so twitter is the last thing to load, but it would so fuck up the balance. Sigh . . . I wish the twitter fuckers would monetize it already so they could afford to make it WORK.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day (and happy 35th birthday to me)!

From a set of photos I’ll be posting later today for members:

Irish girls do it paler and doughier:

Cameltoe in clover green:

*****

We’ve had sex four mornings in a row hoping to fertilize the egg that I popped on Friday. Sunday morning was just for good measure . It really relaxed me so I went back into a blissful sleep afterwards, then got up and spent many hours doing housework. I’m not an efficient cleaning person because I get easily distracted and roam from room to room, but when I just allow myself to enjoy the process it’s actually really soothing to me. It was nice to get away from the computers and pay attention to our surroundings. While we are waiting to find out whether or not our conception attempt was successful I want things to be as calm and relaxing as possible and also focus my energy on grounding myself in my body and home. Peace is a state of being I usually have to work towards to achieve; I would like to practice more to get to the point where it comes more naturally. This is especially important now that I want to become a parent.

*****

I have a couple of hour-long chats scheduled today so that our members can come in and kiss my ass with birthday well-wishes. They are at noon and nine pm (Pacific Time). I’m also hoping to fit in some time for more personal blogging and some exercise. My family is going to be spending a few days with us later this week to celebrate my birthday so I don’t know how much I’ll be able to accomplish site-wise while they’re here.

*****

I’d like to point out a few of my favorite free porn galleries I’ve posted over on Trixie.com and explain what I like about them:

RONI OUTSIDE IN A WHITE GOWN
First of all, I really admire Roni, her site, her shows, and her style. And I was *this close* to masturbating to the photo of the water gushing over her feet.

REDHEAD IN A FIELD WEARING CUTOFFS & BIKINI
I confess that anything depicting love between a girl and her horse arouses me. I know that sounds sick and wrong, but just the suggestion of it is enough for me to daydream (which I prefer to anything horrifyingly explicit and real). And I really like the shape of her legs and that she looks like she’s really country.

NAUGHTY JULIE GIVES HEAD
I am a big fan of Naomi Watts/love the way she looks AND I love Julie, so seeing Julie look so much like Naomi in that second clip? SENDS me!

“TEMPTING TRANNY” ANGELINA
This might be the prettiest glam hardcore tgirl gallery I’ve ever seen and I *love* the way the guy is manhandling her; I really love images that show a man’s arms wrapped around a woman with his hands on display on her rear or sides or stomach or thighs. It’s a really potent sight for me, and the guy in this set has really beautiful hands.

TRUTH OR DARE
Those of you who know me probably don’t need me to point out my trigger(s) on this one.

OH MY SIDEBURNS!
Lewdly set up to perfection, and the second clip is just . . . wow. Really fucking hot. And the bare feet, bad teeth & moaning in the last clip? Gah!!! Hotness!!!!

NOT AGAIN, TRIXIE!!

It’s very strange to walk through a bookstore and have my eyes captured by so many familiar authors and editors: people I know through the blogosphere, people with whom I’ve exchanged emails and links, people I’ve met in “real” life, and even people who have or are about to send me contracts and checks to put my own work in their volumes. It’s not the least bit glamorous, but it feels that way anyway because I know OTHER people (horny nineteen year old college girls with sensitive nipples, I hope) might think it’s dreamy and impressive because they don’t know any better. Right now it feels super cool to me because I feel like it happened to me by accident, without intent I’m a dork and it’s COOL to look at names on the spines of books and think to myself, “talked to HIM on the phone, met HER on porn set, commiserated with HER regarding obnoxious blog fans, was stark naked at HER house, am quoted in THAT book, blah blah blah”.

I can whittle the vanity down to something even simpler, though; it’s delightful knowing some of those book people know who I am. It’s neat-o to be in a public place surrounded by people who think books and the people who write them are really cool, and to feel “special” because some of those people whose names are on books because they’re responsible for the content inside of them, SOME OF THOSE PEOPLE KNOW WHO *I* AM!!

Through my porn sites I have attained a degree of immortality. It sounds crazy, but it’s true and it fascinates me. So much of the work I do amplifies and extends my living; I do feel like I’m more alive because so many people KNOW that I’m living, WATCH me living, READ me living, etc. It’s heady, powerful stuff that overfeeds my most basic, primitive survival instincts. Maybe my own instincts have gone off the rails or I’m unwittingly describing the hallmarks of some kind of pathology, but whatever. Some people cheat death through extreme sports to feel more alive, some people have kids, some people perform acts of heroism . . . but I feel more alive simply because a few bloggy book people (along with thousands of men who’ve become erect and spilled seed over my web-graven images) know who I am.

The idea of low-level celebrity is becoming more and more intriguing to me as it becomes more common in our world and as I attain some of it in a barely-measurable way. If Kathy Griffin is D-list, I guess I’m somewhere around Y, which as you know is right next to nothing; it may not be much, but it’s an eye-opening position granting me a zillion unblocked views into the various phenomena associated with fame and its varying degrees. Even if you are decidedly NOT famous, if there are a dozen people in the world who assume you must be and they communicate that assumption to you in a prone position of worship you DO learn something about the condition. Most of the time you just snicker to yourself because the concept of YOU being FAMOUS is ludicrous and hysterical, but you still have to recognize that you’re experiencing something that most people don’t and in that way you are exceptional. You are, for example, the exception in the bookstore, not the rule.

*****

Fucking has been a daily event for the past few days, and will continue to be for the next couple of weeks as we continue trying to get pregnant. Thanks to some good timing with Netflix and some splendid hand-me-downs from a blog reader (thank you very much for Mr. Beaver and Squirm Sockets, which I especially like), we have some hot movies to accompany our wholesome procreative sex efforts. WARNING TO VOYEURS: if you’re expecting wild, nonstop sex in a variety of positions during our baby-making attempts you’re bound to be disappointed. We don’t want to overdo it, and we’re aiming to finish in the missionary position every time for maximum spooge retention.

I’m now going to go poop. The reason I’m telling you this is because it makes me feel so ALIVE when I talk about pooping. If I pooped and nobody knew about it, I would feel half-dead, but knowing that my stinky essential ritual of daily life is haunting strangers around the world? I feel like a god. Like a god who doesn’t carelessly use his divinity to give up on pooping, because a true god knows that it feels so pleasurable when the poop stretches the anus.

NOT WHAT YOU WERE EXPECTING?

Okay, so I know some people got excited about this week’s members-only update thinking it would be this photo set. But instead you’re getting 40 minutes of video like these pictures, only louder and more obnoxious:

Video appearing now in my Members-Only area.
Join TastyTrixie.com or SpyOnUs.com for access to ALL of my pics (full size) & vids!

I know some of you think I don’t give a rat’s ass who I offend, but there’s a middle ground for me especially when it comes to this kind of content. When people get pissed off at me about it, I usually think the arguments and complaints they present are laughably stupid, rude, and presumptuous but on the other hand it really DOES bother me thinking of some sweet older Christian person joining my site and totally not anticipating s/he’ll be confronted by something so overtly profane. Yes, I do think it’s totally possible for a Christian to join a porn site and not be a hypocrite by doing so and not even be a hypocrite for being disturbed by hearing me discuss the crucifixion in gory, sexually lurid language.

I’d love to reflect on this at length, but I’m SLEEPY and I think our guests are waiting to go get sushi so that’s all I have to say about blasphemous porn right now.

SMELLS GOOD!

Our house smells faintly of Lapsang Souchong. Mmmm. . . . if you’re a fan of that smokey tea, I’m in love with the Russian Caravan we can get at our local hippy store (not sure if this is the same brand we’ve gotten, but it’s worth checking out if you’re into tea).

I’m a little hyperaware of the scent of our house right now because Kris Madison is coming over to stay with us for a few days; I’m afraid the dominant notes in our domestic bouquet won’t be smokey tea leaves, but instead will be damp, sweaty, unwashed laundry, wet dog, and heated vomit from our vaccuum cleaner which our brother-in-law used to clean up after our Nico puked while we were gone when she ate a chicken carcass.

Speaking of aromas, we ate a lot of refried beans last night; I’m on the verge of becoming the first human hovercraft. I wonder how many people cancel their memberships to my site after hearing me moan, fart and giggle over the spycam audio one too many times? Or is that part of my distinctive charm?

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO . . .

An anonymous person left a couple of comments saying, “hi Trixie! I was wondering if you knew what ever happened to Betty?”

The short answer is “yes”. Yes, I know what happened to Betty. Yes, I know why her site isn’t up anymore. But what the inquirer probably meant to ask is, “will you tell me what happened to Betty (if you happen to know the answer)?” And since the answer to THAT is “no”, I chose not to publish those comments since any response I give would have to be sort of complex and never really answer the question.

*****

I understand that people are curious when webwhores leave the internet, especially since they usually do so very mysteriously with no explanation; one day a chick’s site is up and the next day . . . poof, it’s gone! If a girl’s done her job well, people are going to miss her when she’s gone so it’s kind of a compliment when people ask, “what happened to X?” On the other hand, none of us really has a RIGHT to know why she disappeared (unless of course she made off with someone’s money or shut down her members-only area without a word or without offering refunds to those with time remaining).

I myself used to be completely flabbergasted by the frequent disappearances of women from the web, to the point of even being mad at them, these chicks I didn’t even know personally who probably had good reasons for jumping ship. I would ask myself WHY wouldn’t they leave their sites up even if they couldn’t update anymore when they could just lower the price of membership, explaining they moved on to other projects but were leaving their site up for posterity? WHY would they DELETE EVERYTHING from their sites? WHY couldn’t they just post a somewhat sensible brief message explaining their departure? WHY would they want to give up something they made for a new boyfriend who disagreed with their porn life (most girls who DID offer brief and, I thought, really fucking STUPID explanations said that the new men in their lives wanted them to give up the porn so they happily agreed to sacrifice their internet sex work to save their boyfriends’ fragile egos, because “love” is more important than owning your own business, apparently). Oh gosh . . . I’m getting judgemental again, aren’t I?!

It’s so easy to do, though, when you really don’t know anything about someone except that she tried running a business online and then changed her mind.

Over the past six years I’ve seen a whole lot of chicks come and go; some of them had very good reasons for quitting their sites. Some of them eventually returned, some of them under new aliases while others just picked up where they left off.

There was the chick who had a seizure one day while she was wearing an angora sweater and cooking. The burns were devastating, I heard, and as far as I know she hasn’t returned to the web. There was the Romanian camgirl I and some of my cohorts had a crush on who was one of the most popular and visible performers on the network until the day when a totally different girl started performing under her name; I never heard what happened to Violeta Number 1. There were those who didn’t set their domain names to auto-renew and lost all of their traffic and branding when their dot coms were snatched out from under them; some of them started back up under new names, but others just gave up the ghost. There was the hottie who was rumoured to have started escorting and then shut down her main site and took down her ads; I heard through the grapevine it was because of a “fan”atic that was stalking her, but eventually she came back with a newer, even-cooler site. I’ve no idea whether or not the stalker still plagues her or if he truly did exist in the first place to the extreme where he had an effect on her web presence.

There were many who landed straight jobs that paid better and were more fulfilling than what they did online; they had no motivation to jeopardize their careers by leaving content up that could compromise them and never made them much money anyway. Some of them left for good, but some of them are back. There were many who took time off for surgeries and reinvention or to carry and have babies and they didn’t want to explain or share that with fans. There were many whose x-rated lives became targets for jealous ex’s and judgemental family members who used their porn sites as leverage in custody battles. There were some who divorced the person that helped them make porn, and because the husbands (usually) were the ones who photographed the pictures they were also the ones who legally held the copyright on all the material so they were basically left owning nothing or half of something that wasn’t worth bargaining for or buying out.

But mostly there were people who just didn’t want to run their sites anymore (or keep doing camshows or keep taking phone calls). It didn’t make them enough money or it wasn’t fun anymore or whatever . . . they didn’t want to keep doing it, or they wanted to take a break, or they didn’t know if it was worth it anymore. Maybe some people reading this are thinking, “aha! They were only in it for the money!” Of course, I don’t think that makes a woman evil, if she does something only because someone pays her to, but seriously — that’s really not the whole story on any of the people I know who’ve abandoned their sites or jobs as camgirls. What is usually the case is that they never actually got paid enough in the first place, but enjoyed it enough that they invested tons of time and money and personal risk in building and maintaining their sites but never actually made them profitable; they genuinely couldn’t afford to keep trying. Some camgirls just got older and burned out and bored with sticking things in their cunts for strangers. Some people had some fun online but it was really just an exploratory phase so they quit when the newness and excitement wore off or when the networks they were part of changed the rules and the terms of working on their sites (lowering chathost payouts from 50% to 35%, just as one example). Some people made a lot of money in the beginning, years ago when there was less competition, and they never got accustomed to the number of players on the new field; those who didn’t want to work harder for less left, quit or let their sites languish. Some girls got out of bad deals (or what they THOUGHT were bad deals) with big companies who promised to make them lots of money and never delivered (or were never given a chance to deliver) and their sites wound up redirecting to some other girl on some other site.

I honestly do wish more people would offer an explanation for why they left the industry, and actually most of them do but then the word doesn’t always get around to everybody or they don’t want to keep paying for a domain and hosting just to keep informing someone that they’re gone for “personal reasons”. On the other hand, many many people honestly CANNOT provide any explanation in anything other than the vaguest of terms. There could be legal reasons or safety issues or who-knows-what that’s totally private and not necessary for anyone to ever know about or could even be DANGEROUS to them or their family if they disclosed.

So. Whatever happened to Betty? That is not my business to share. I’m assuming the people who really supported and admired her were probably aware of her blog, I would think, and I hope would have read her explanation here a long time ago, along with this follow-up post indicating that she was alive and missed porn enough that she hoped she’d be able to return to it, and if she wanted to disclose more she would have. Hell, maybe she’ll read this and post a comment, but again . . . if she wanted to publicly talk about why she took down her site then she WOULD, but since she doesn’t/can’t, she shouldn’t
be pestered about it and people shouldn’t try to get the inside skinny from her friends. They *especially* shouldn’t try this without signing a name to their question — anonymously asking for private information on someone doesn’t come across as very well-intentioned (though it may have been — I don’t know, since I have no clue who the person was who asked). I’m pretty sure they’re just curious and figure it doesn’t hurt to ask, but it kind of makes me feel uncomfortable because Betty is my friend so I have a sort of rabid desire to defend her from attacks on her privacy. Whoever is asking obviously knows we’re pals, so it’s kind of rude to try to get me to betray her confidence.

All I can do is assure that Betty is STILL alive, she’s still awesome, and she deserves to have her privacy respected. My personal hope is that we will get rich enough to hire her to do special nonsexual things for us and our sites, and that she will want to do those things, and that we will see her often. My even bigger hope is that nothing stand between her and happiness and that everyone who appreciated her web presence feels the same way.

I hope I don’t sound harsh because I honestly can relate to simply wanting to know if a disappeared-webwhore is still alive and kicking; it would be embarrassing if I told you how affected I’ve been by Olympia’s (aka Postmodern Courtesan’s) blog’s disappearance. I emailed her two or three times since her blog has been down but haven’t gotten any replies. I genuinely am a little worried that something unpleasant might have prompted its removal, but even if that’s true, publicizing that unpleasantness would probably make a bad situation even worse. And if it’s not true, and she just didn’t want to keep it up or continue taking the risk of writing about escorting then it’s still none of my business. I have to remind myself that I got a lot out of reading her blog, entirely as a free blessing, and that makes her LESS obligated (not more) to explain her absence to me or anyone else.

*****

I was going to reflect more on the feeling of being “abandoned” by our favorite webwhores and the strangeness of that (which I can relate to, having felt it myself), but I think I’ll save that for some other time.

*****

Today Tucker and I got in a couple of photo shoots, took the dog for a walk, and I spent time in the chatroom. I got a lot of little tasks accomplished, and am now pretty exhausted since I didn’t get enough sleep last night and I’m on the rag.

Breakfast in Bed Chat happening again tomorrow . . . see you there?

Porn film allegedly causes man to try rescue from rape

WAUKESHA – An Oconomowoc man who thought he heard a woman being raped allegedly busted through a neighbor’s door, carrying a sword, only to find the neighbor watching pornography.

James Van Iveren, 39, was released last week on a $5,000 signature bond and is scheduled to appear in court again March 9, court records show. He was charged with criminal trespass to a dwelling, criminal damage to property and disorderly conduct – all while allegedly carrying a dangerous weapon.

According to a criminal complaint in the case, a neighbor of Van Iveren’s reported Feb. 11 that Van Iveren kicked in his door and threatened him with a sword, demanding, “Where is she?” Van Iveren allegedly forced the man to open a closet in his apartment.

“After finding no one, the person upstairs indicated he’d been watching a pornographic move and as a result Van Iveren left the apartment,” the complaint alleged. “Van Iveren complained that the ‘rape’ had been occurring for several hours but after finding out it was only a movie, stated the whole incident was a mistake.”

I love this story. LOVE IT. It’s a perfect example of how blurry the line is between “harmless” porn consumption, and how freaky it would be to hear or see or experience in real life some of the things depicted in porn.

Of course, maybe the “rescuer” was just a nutso, otherwise why didn’t he call the police and do so much sooner? Oh well. If more people stepped up and intervened when they heard someone in pain or being abused maybe we’d see a lot more people rescued from horrible situations.

I wish the reporter disclosed the content of the porn the guy was watching, because seriously — if you have the volume cranked up on a traumatic-sounding sex scene or something full of degrading language and your neighbors can hear it, you should have charges pressed against you. Maybe. Same goes for having CSI turned up too loud, or Law & Order: SVU. Fucking sick shit.

GHETTO BOOTY XXL VOLUME 2

It’s only the second time we’ve paid for porn via DirecTV; the first time I tried being frugal and ordered one of the cheapest movies I could find; of course, it sucked, mainly because the action and talent didn’t at all match the description and title. Annoying! So this time I splurged on a movie with a standard price ($10.99) and a title that I thought would mean I couldn’t go wrong: Ghetto Booty XXL Volume 2.

The description (”pretty girls make men smile”) didn’t provide any indication what kind of action we’d find, so I hoped there would be a lot of taunting booty-clapping, jiggling, walking and dancing before any sex took place. Of course, I was almost completely wrong. If I’m paying to see a girl’s ass, why would I want to see 20 seconds of it and then two minutes of her pussy VIEWED FROM THE FRONT? I want to see it from behind — hello! If I’m paying to see a girl’s ass, why in the world would I want to see a blowjob in every single scene? And why in the world would every single scene culminate in a cumshot to the face or delivered on the tongue instead of shot all over the ghetto booty I obviously want to see? I totally don’t get it. I love blowjobs and all, but it’s disappointing when you were anticipating lots of ass, not lots of head. I am so sick of the ubiquitous hurried facials, particularly when there are more obvious and convenient places to shoot a load (like, on someone’s ass when the people buying the movie obviously LIKE asses).

Obviously we need to research our purchases a little bit more instead of hoping for the best based on the inane descriptions provided on the tv guide; these kinds of mistakes make it clearer to me why some porn consumers become porn collectors and develop a certain level of expertise regarding their favorite performers, studios, etc. You really have to do some homework to find porn that delivers what you like best.

I’d say that 85% of the moving-picture porn I’ve rented or purchased in my life has been a disappointment. I don’t mean that I have high standards and was expecting greatness, I mean it was either totally boring and/or an actual turn-OFF. The kind of stuff where you practically have to force yourself to masturbate to it just so you feel like you’re getting your money’s worth. That’s really saying a lot considering I’ve happily masturbated to images of FRUIT on a pbs gardening program.

A couple of the biggest turn-offs for me in this Ghetto Booty movie are the same things that turn me off in most porn: unlubricated pussies being fucked and unprotected sex. Nothing turns me off more than seeing a cock shoved into a dry pussy. I fucking HATE it. Lube is not that expensive so BUY SOME AND USE IT. Oh, I know that a lot of guys freak out when lube is used because they think it’s an admission of non-arousal, but isn’t the bone-dry pussy and the talent’s totally bored expression and faked moans a tip-off? Are guys really able to convince themselves porn performer’s are totally into it UNLESS a bottle of lube is introduced and then the whole illusion is destroyed? And as far as unprotected sex goes, I actually do get more aroused watching people fuck without condoms BUT I just wish they would say something at the beginning to assure us that the people were tested and stuff. Maybe it’s a chick thing, but I worry about those girls, particularly when they are being FUCKED DRY which makes risky sex even riskier. I find myself sympathizing with the pain the performers are enduring and worrying about their safety rather than being aroused, and it’s not just because they are women — I feel the same way seeing men fucked up the ass without condoms or lube, or having their penises mauled by insensitive hands or teeth. And honestly it’s not that I don’t like watching certain kinds of rough sex (gagging, choking, spanking, etc), but pointless pain in vanilla engagements just makes me feel so chapped and tense.

I think a lot of women feel the same way I do about stupid-things-in-porn and it could be one of the many and complex reasons women get upset when their male partners enjoy porn so much; how is it that men can enjoy porn without their empathy getting in the way? THOSE ARE DRY PUSSIES!! Isn’t that anti-erotic to them? Isn’t it a turn off knowing that person is in pain? And don’t tell me just because guys don’t have their own pussies that they can’t recognize genuine pain when the performer is saying “Owww!” and cringing when a big fat dick is stuffed in her DRY PUSSY. For a lot of wives and girlfriends it can be really upsetting to suspect that maybe your boyfriend or husband is turned on by things that cause women pain, like, you know — DRY PUSSY. Or that maybe he’s too stupid to notice it or just completely lacks the empathy or imagination to give a shit. Fortunately I have never been in a relationship with a guy who was turned on by dry pussy (I think Tucker was even more bored watching Ghetto Booty than I was), but the fact that this dry-pussy porn sells and is so rampant does make me view men-in-general with a high degree of suspicion and anger.

On the other hand, I think a lot of men just tolerate bad porn rather than lauding it as great; they recognize it’s lame but hey — there aren’t a lot of alternatives and it still “works” for them, so even though they might understand that it’s fucked up and prefer something better, they just take what’s provided. Still, I know that a whole lot of guys honestly *don’t* have any empathy or understanding of what they’re watching, and I know this because I deal with them by the thousands in group shows (and observe them in other people’s shows). The things many of them say indicate to me that they are dangerously ignorant and devoid of compassion. I can understand why some women get all crazy-mad about porn, then, when it brings out some major character flaws in men. Too bad most women who do get all crazy-mad about porn can’t articulate (or are unwilling to recognize) what the REAL problems are (men being encouraged to be totally ignorant of women’s bodies, not having empathy for others, etc.) and instead like to pretend that PORN MAKES MEN that way; they like to pretend that if we got rid of porn and all the women who make money in porn, then men would be perfect little angels!! Good luck, you stupid bitches.

*****

I really would rather spend money on internet porn paysite memberships rather than whole movies, but we don’t have a fancy setup to watch internet porn on a computer hooked up to television in our bedroom; our computers don’t have big monitors and they’re not anywhere near a bed so if Tucker and I are going to watch porn together (or alone in a comfortable bed), it has to be on dvd, vhs, or ordered via satellite. It’s kind of amazing how cheap internet porn is compared to buying one movie at a time. I guess if I want to get serious about consuming porn myself, we’re going to have to upgrade our bedroom’s “entertainment center” to include whatever-we-need to view internet stuff on tv, or get a big monitor and another computer or wireless or whatever-the-hell people do nowadays. I’m so behind-the-times.

SOME GIRLS LOOK GOOD SUCKING COCK . . .
. . . other girls? Not so much.

While I edited a POV blowjob video (shot from Tucker’s “point-of-view” looking down at me ) I was once again disappointed by how alien my face looks from that angle. Alien as in “different” because I don’t ever look at myself from the scalp downwards, but also alien as in “of the giant forehead and great big eyes”. Like the greys, you know what I mean? Since the camera is closer to my forehead than any other facial feature, of course that is what looks biggest. Next, eyes. And then my nose, which isn’t tiny and doesn’t really benefit from enlargement. On top of that, I have a heart shaped face so it just looks like I’m this giant upper-half of a face, with a miniature jaw. I frequently look bizarre, like a praying mantis. And when I’m really going down on the cock and have as much of it as I can in my mouth? I look like a sunken-cheeked crack whore.

But I’ll stop complaining since, you know, it’s still really hot. And I snagged a lot of stills from it that I actually love. And even my crooked teeth looked sexy to me, reminding me that the Japanese actually have some kind of a fetish for crooked teeth; I don’t remember the term for it, but apparently they think it’s really cute. Of course you can’t really give too much credit to the Japanese aesthetic when they’re the ones who freed and made a celebrity artiste out of Issei Sagawa, a guy who cannibalized a big strong creamy-skinned Dutch lady.

While it would be most entertaining for me to show you lots of samples of me looking like a pale bug-eyed martian, it’s probably better for business if I show you some of my favorite cocksucking (well, licking, etc.) snags with only one image of my totally-distended face:

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Anyway, not all people really prefer to see a “pretty” face sucking cock. Sure, there are lots who *do* hold the prettiest cocksuckers in high esteem, but there are others who think the stretched-out features of a sexy-ugly face deep in hungry concentration are the best. You might also be surprised at how many guys fetishize tongues and open, empty mouths; lots of guys will specifically request (in porn and camshows) that you pose for them with your mouth open wide and your tongue sticking out. They will jack off to you just rolling your tongue out and laying it as flat as you can for them to imagine shooting their loads. This can be a difficult pose to maintain for more than a minute, but it really does the trick for some people.

But back to the most important topics at hand: me and my vanity! When I see my wrinkled forehead in photos and videos it REALLY makes me want an injection of botox more than a gloppy load of cum on my tongue.