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Archive for the ‘Seattle’ Category

Earlier today, docking on Bainbridge Island:

Riding ferries and crossing cool bridges are regular parts of going almost anywhere for us. Along with me insisting we switch seats repeatedly on busy Saturdays to try to get away from high-pitched voices and child-cries.

We took a night off yesterday so I’m going to post this gallery tomorrow for members:

Hiding My Nakedness

We’re beginning a new tradition of taking one night off of work and the dog a month. For us, to get away from work, we actually have to leave the house, the webcams, the computers and the big camera. We board the dog at a nice farm-y kennel, and we get a room. Last month wasn’t as fun as this month because last time we did work while we were away and had to pack to shoot, get up early, etc.  / just one of the nights was “off”.

This time we didn’t have to pack ANYTHING except cozy clothes so getting out of the house was a lot easier and no-stress. We got a room at the Suquamish casino and arrived right before dusk with everything looking spooky and beautiful outside of the big windows of the hotel. We put on our bathing suits right away to take advantage of the swimming pool and hot tub.

Delia lounging by the pool

It was SO NICE! One of the benefits of staying at a casino in Washington (where it’s not really a destination for anything BUT gambling, unlike Vegas) must be that everyone else is at the tables and slot machines while the pool is totally EMPTY. We had the place all to ourselves, allowing Delia to shoot this upskirt shot while I read Wizard’s First Rule (as soon as I finish it we’re going to start watching Legend of the Seeker which I’ve been DYING to see; I’ve caught little pieces of it here and there, but wanted to watch it from the beginning with the background of having read the book):

Flashing my fantasy-loving twat by the pool.

We swam and we soaked, totally loving the big sunken hot tub outside. It was perfect with the cold winter air and rain in the dark, watching the drops fall in the water up to our chins. The only thing that sucked was not being able to be naked. It felt criminal, really — so unnatural and weird. How can you be outside in hot water at night breathing in all of that mist and wear a constricting swimsuit without feeling like a law is being broken? I don’t know. But it was worth it. I did consider taking my suit off, but it would have sucked to have gotten the boot with our evening barely started and I know I would’ve been nervous, looking around trying to be ready to frantically pull the fucker back on if anybody approached.

We totally overate while we were gone. The best thing we got was at Tizley’s Europub in Poulsbo this afternoon: their warm mustard-y German potato salad was delicious as fuck, and perfect with our bratwurst.

We were more than ready to come home and get back to work after barely being gone 24 hours, but the fucking bridge opened (meaning it CLOSED to vehicle traffic) right as we were about to head back so we went to “the fish park” to wait it out. I’m pretty sure that’s what the sign said, just “the fish park”. We enjoyed our little low tide stroll:

Romantic carvings at The Fish Park

Winter sky at The Fish Park

We Love Bats and Bat Houses!

I’m looking forward to whatever we decide to do on our February night off . . . maybe something involving less food and some museums or something like that. Or, better yet, some place with a hot tub outside where we’re allowed to be naked.

We went to Seattle on Tuesday for Delia to do a shoot for Shemale Strokers; it’s extremely rare for either of us to shoot for other people so that was a good experience to get us out of our bubble. It looks like next time we’ll shoot something as a couple for SuckMyTrannyCock and I’ll do a solo blowjob and cum-on-the-boobs thing for another site. I can’t remember the last time I had anyone’s cum on me besides Delia’s.

Are we going to start shooting a whole bunch of hardcore for other sites to make quick money? No. There aren’t many people to shoot for in the area and it’s not exactly the direction we want to go anyway for a number of different reasons. On the other hand, if we had more time for traveling and to pornify ourselves with lots of trips to the gym and enough people to work with that we felt comfortable with (for example, people who shoot with condoms) it would be a nice adventure to do that for a few months and get more exposure for ourselves (leading to more exposure for our sites). At the moment, that’s not the plan, though. Maybe in the next couple of years before we totally enter granny status in the porn world.

Part of me is happy to have not had a typical porn industry experience so far, but another part of me feels like we’d be missing out to not experience more of it. The whole testing vs. condoms is a whole other ball of wax, too. While I know most of the diseases that are passed around in porn aren’t the end of the world I’m pretty fucking happy to have made it to this point in my life without herpes, for example, and I’d like to keep it that way. Allow me to clarify: no one is banging down our doors to shoot hardcore, I’m just speaking hypothetically here. Also, I’m not saying that I wouldn’t have sex with someone who has herpes (I *have*) or that I think condoms should be mandatory in porn (I don’t), I’m just saying that my comfort level and goals aren’t conducive to jumping into a hardcore porn fuckfest any time soon. I think we both have too many boundaries and limits to get much work on top of me not being in my prime.

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We decided to get a room that night instead of driving all the way back home; one of the bridges we have to cross is having problems and closes for tests every day and all night, plus we haven’t had a night to ourselves off cam in a billion years so we even boarded our dog. It was bliss, and we really should get away for quiet private time on a regular basis AWAY from home; I love working at home for ourselves, but I totally miss the feeling of LEAVING work behind to drive home. We don’t have that and it gets really heavy to never really escape.

We even went to see a movie! Yes, we actually saw A Christmas Carol. I enjoyed it and am glad we saw it on the big screen. Jim Carrey channeled a WEE bit too much of Mr. Burns, but he’s my favorite so that’s fine.

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This weekend and the rest of the month we’re trying to shoot as much as we can for our sites here at home. We also got some stressful but potentially good news about our favorite spycam site to broadcast on which alleviates some of the nagging worries we’ve had over the years but means we have to invest some time and money that we really don’t have into it.

I know it’s all going to work out, though.

How?

I’m not exactly sure. I don’t need to know everything about tomorrow, today.

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I wanted to post a members-only update last night but it’s getting pressed out later and later because the things I keep getting ready to post have to be postponed for one reason or another, namely because I don’t have time to finish them properly. It may turn out that I wind up editing and posting something we’re shooting tonight or tomorrow.

Some of you’ve been wondering how our family get-together with my brother went after my agonizing in this post; fortunately, it went fine but I’m still so glad it’s OVER so I can stop stressing out over it.

We made the trek out to my mom’s yesterday and had a fairly nice visit. Sometimes I worry that Delia’s just receding into the background and that some of that’s my fault, but then it always seems that one person in a couple is the quiet hanger-back. Like my brother’s wife who mostly hung out in the kitchen. Some people are so quiet and pleasant those of us who are more obnoxious just naturally steamroll them.

Anyway, there was no mean-spirited or overt bullshit to be had towards us, though I did wonder when thank you’s for the presents we brought came from the kids and I got all the hugs and thanks why that was . . . because I’m the one who’s actually related to them (though haven’t seen them in eight years, since one was newborn)? Because Delia’s trans? Because I didn’t do a good job of introducing Auntie Delia? Or just because I was the one standing there with open arms, like “HUG YOUR AUNTIE, DAMMIT!” while Delia was behind me on the couch and less accessible/approachable/talkative? And then that firm handshake my brother gave Delia after hugging me goodbye seemed to have an awkward masculine edge to it, but whatever.

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On our way home from our family visit we got together briefly with AmberLily and her husband (Tiny aka BigD) who is too witty and well-read for me to get his jokes which mostly seem to consist of teasing us for being Democrats. They go right over my head and I wind up staring at him, completely bewildered, wishing I could keep up. Fortunately he’s nice enough to try to meet in the middle, patiently reminding me, for example, of my Third Amendment rights (so I could understand the joke he was making) even when I obtusely ignored his explanation. Maybe if we got to spend more time hanging out then AmberLily wouldn’t have to try to translate for us, “and now BigD is joking; that was a reference to the obscure blank and blankety blank.” Anyway, I hope I haven’t gotten them banned from their local McDonald’s because I kept saying the “F” word and loudly talking about wet WET pussy, something I’m far more familiar with than our Constitution.

My point is, I love them and BigD should be an internet celebrity.

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Normally when we go back to the area east of Seattle where I grew up I’m thankful we don’t live there, but yesterday the summer air was too seductive and familiar for me to not want to have more of it. It smelled heavily of home, especially driving through shady places along rivers. My mom’s yard felt so lush and green and bushy and the porch was so . . . porchy? With the screen door? Our dog looked like she was going to melt right into the cool grass, unlike here where all the grass is dry, short, and totally dead. It smells like saltwater and high wind and dry things where we live, but where I grew up it smells like a humid valley in the summer where every dog bark is magnified – sounds don’t blow away where I grew up. I hate that, but it’s still home.

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Little cell phone pic on our way home.

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Delia’s putting the finishing touches on the letter she’s writing to her parents who still don’t know she’s trans.

Today we went to a protest against civil rights abuses and I realized THAT’S THE FIRST ORGANIZED PROTEST I’VE EVER ATTENDED! Which seems nuts, that as a thirty-six year old woman who is opposed to SO many things and has lived near Seattle my whole life, I have never been out in the streets with my floppy tits wrapped loosely in a shredded flag, armpit hair fluttering in the breeze as I pump my fist shouting a determined message even as I’m hoisted over the bulky shoulder of an armed man in riot gear.

Sorry to disappoint, but today was nothing like that.

Still, it was important and I’m glad we went. I’d love to be more specific and share the details with most everyone but as my webwhoring years have added up I’ve realized that sometimes I need to withhold some information for the sake of privacy and safety. What I will say, though, is it isn’t connected to porn or sex work which in a way is sad because I’d like to be a better activist when it comes to civil rights issues related to the sex industry. This, though, is more local and I feel like I can more safely make a difference by being involved in it which is not something I can do locally (meeting up with people face-to-face) as a webwhore.

Delia actually sat this one out in the car because she has a soul-patch-like burn on her chin from her first overzealous laser hair removal treatment (she’s been going through the process for years now and this is the first time she’s gotten burned like that) and she didn’t want to be out in the sun. This left me open to being approached by a cute ewok-looking fellow with a jaunty chipped front tooth who appeared to be about seven to ten years my junior. I almost told him I have a girlfriend, but then decided if he really was “interested” maybe it would lure him into getting involved. See, deep freckled cleavage can really win support for a cause. And I like bearded little roly poly guys.

I was actually a little concerned about the location of this protest because it’s right next to an ultra-conservative hangout but they didn’t come streaming out to scare us away or even mount a counter-protest. Instead I only saw about three people give us the thumbs-down and everybody else who responded as they drove by seemed happy to see us and honked, waved, hollered, etc. in support. That’s a good feeling, but scary knowing this shit is going on even with so much outspoken criticism.

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The past few days have been pretty windy here (I could barely hang onto my sign today) so it wasn’t a big surprise when we lost power for a few seconds tonight. Could throw a monkey wrench into our spycam transmissions and Delia’s update which she’s trying to get uploaded and posted tonight, though. After the protest we had to drive all the way back to suburban hell to have them remove the inky security tag on a pair of jeans Delia bought on Thursday that they forgot to remove. Sometimes living so far from a real city is inconvenient. And sometimes it’s just kind of scary (see above: there is some bullshit that wouldn’t be tolerated in Seattle but in rural and small-town areas it’s commonplace). But of course so is living near or IN a city, just for different reasons.

We went to Seattle but my sister didn’t go into labor so we came home again. It was great to see them though, especially my number one nephew, Mr. Squishypants who’s almost three now. We all went to the Japanese Garden at the Arboretum, a place I’ve always wanted to revisit ever since an annoying trip we took there when I was a teenager. I wanted to return and have everything be tranquil. IT WAS!!

One of the things I miss most about living in Tacoma is walking to the Conservatory and just sitting in there soaking in good, moist air and beauty. If we lived in Seattle I would probably hang out at the Japanese Garden for hours and hours every week. It’s fucking therapy, man. It kind of boggles my mind that there are beautiful places — gardens like these or woods like the Hoh rainforest (yes, I should totally do a WebHOH shoot) — and people don’t go, LET’S KEEP/MAKE EVERYTHING THIS LEVEL OF AWESOMELY BEAUTIFUL!!. And I’m not saying everything has to be totally pristine and “natural” to be beautifully awesome; we were impressed by Harborside Park at the Bremerton ferry terminal next to the shipyards (also beautiful, to me).

If I were to cultivate my own garden, it would be a moss and fern garden. I love how primitive they are. They totally feel like home to me.

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After taking a bunch of pictures at the garden and looking at them here at home, I realized I’m doing a terrible job of paying attention to my horizon line or just making sure the subject of my photos aren’t accidentally slightly slanted; most of my pictures look a little crooked. I don’t know if other people would notice it, especially when there’s so much stuff in the pictures, but taking non-porn pictures is always a good (and relaxing) learning experience. I wonder if it’s because I’m still not used to our bigger, heavier camera? Using the viewfinder? I don’t know, but I’m going to try to pay better attention to that.

Delia told me today’s Star Wars Day so I thought I better post something. About how my own life force has been idling; maybe my new estrogen-heavy birth control pill is making it so it takes ten hours to wake up and all I want to do is gobble up food. MAYBE. Or maybe I’m just a Very Sleepy Lard Ass.

Anyway, everything is sort of on hold here while we wait for my sister to go into labor. Due to our far-flung location on the Olympic Peninsula and our usual route to Seattle being severed by a major bridge being closed for six weeks, I’ve been really anxious about how we’ll manage to get to Seattle in time to see our second nephew being born. I’m finally calming down about it now, but I did go on a late-night rampage through our town channeling my mother as I stood on the dock screaming, “ALL I WANT IS A FUCKING FERRY SCHEDULE!! GODDAMN IT I HATE THIS FUCKING TOWN!!”

Okay, I didn’t really do that, but I totally WANTED to, which made me start laughing hysterically in the same exact way my mom does after she’s loudly expressed her feelings in a public place, much to the shock and awe of all spectators. Sometimes people in this town are helpful in every single annoying way they possibly can be without being at all capable of delivering the one thing you do want. Yes, I fucking KNOW the ferry schedule is online. Actually we CAN get to Bremerton with the bridge being closed, it will just take longer (you may be older than I am, lady, but have you ever looked at a fucking MAP?). No, I do NOT want your six-month-old schedule nor do I want to call the Department of Transportation for the schedule. I want the fucking fold-out piece of paper that does not require speaking to anybody or having an internet connection.

Ferry schedules are one of those types of items that are always littering your cars and house when you don’t need them but are impossible to locate when you do. And the people in this town are lovely, they just really drive me batshit sometimes. I don’t feel the need to reach a group consensus with strangers on the best way to get to Seattle. I can still see the tortured looks on three people’s faces as they begged me to stay at the quickie-mart so they could offer their useless advice on guiding me to the right ferry even as I told them they couldn’t possibly help me unless they know the exact time my sister is going into labor. Because there are at least five different routes we could take that are all dependent on what day of the week and time of day we leave and whether or not the wind is blowing hard enough to knock out the closest ferry.

Okay. I promise to stop ranting about this to every/anyone who will listen (unless someone has the audacity to try to make a travel suggestion to me in the comments; if that happens, I will recommence ranting). I’ve procured the schedule (which totally conflicts with the information online) and the only thing we can do now is wait. Or leave early and be stuck there for days since watched pots never boil.

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I have a sneaking suspicion my gigantic hunger, lethargy, and the mild cramps I’ve had all week will go away as soon as my sister delivers. Until then I’ve been spending more time off cam than I usually do, hiding in our “secret” rooms, getting some private time before we have sleepless hours of family time that includes watching my little sister go through immense physical trauma and then experiencing the amazingly beautiful emotional wreckage that goes along with welcoming a new member of the family into the world.

Or maybe I just need to readjust my sleep and work schedule and give in to my night-owl tendencies. Sometimes I’m able to behave normally, sometimes not. Could be a seasonal thing. Or allergies. Or that I’m just insane in the membrane. Or all of the above.

As usual, I’ve got more interesting (to you) posts to make and pictures to share, but I wanted to spit out the quick and dirty daily details before going to bed. More of them here on DailyTrixie.

We’re getting ready to spend a couple of nights shooting in one of our favorite local places so our spycams at home will be mostly-dead except when we come home to let the dog out, pick up things we forgot, etc.

I made an appointment for next week to make my hair blonde FOR REAL and this time I will leave no room for any misinterpretation. EVERY SINGLE STRAND OF HAIR ON MY HEAD MUST BE BLONDE. Not all the same shade, but all unambiguously blonde.

The week after that we’re going to be gone for four days traveling, shooting, seeing Delia’s doctor, and maybe taking a day off for ourselves, too. We’re only making plans to see one person while we’re gone, someone we’re shooting with/haven’t shot with before. I have a hard time balancing socializing, shooting, and staying sane so usually I sacrifice the socializing when I know I can’t handle it all. I honestly do not understand how other people are able to squeeze in so much time with other people. It’s beyond me, but still I hate all the missed opportunities to see people we like/love.

I’m reserving my scanty social juices for two things over the next six weeks or so: spending time with AmberLily and BigD before they move away from us, and spending time with family when my second nephew is born next month (during an extremely inopportune time; the H00d Canal Bridg3 will be closed, severing our most direct route to Seattle.

Between that and the usual stuff, I’ll try to post more interesting blog entries. For really real!

If my “porn” were standing before the judges on American Idol, Simon would totally call it self-indulgent nonsense. Like shooting almost entirely non-nude sets of pictures with a ren-fairish flavor just because I REALLY LIKE WEARING LONG VELVET DRESSES AND THIS IS MY FAVORITE NECKLACE AND I LIKE PRANCING AROUND IN THE FOREST!! From my latest members-only update:

Most people don’t “get” non-nude or softcore porn, and I do think there’s a bigger market for straightforward explicit hardcore sex (and I myself prefer to masturbate to fairly explicit, genital-oriented content, though not the generic kind), but make no mistake . . . there’s definitely a market for the soft stuff. I’m not sure, but I’m *guessing* that its appeal diminishes the older the model gets, but I could be wrong. I *hope* I’m wrong. Because I will proceed as though I *am* wrong about that. Because I’m totally a self-indulgent softcore kind of lady. Well, not totally. Which is what makes my site difficult to categorize since I love hardcore stuff, too.

Running a personality site means I’m selling myself — intimate access to WHO I am — as much as jack-off material (which is everywhere nowadays for free), but maintaining a balance can be a challenge particularly since the balance other people want to see really varies. There are a lot of people who think the porno stuff is boring and others who think the “self-indulgent” softcore/personally revealing stuff is boring. I don’t get that information from my own members (who I guess usually know it’s futile/counter-productive to complain about what I do/don’t do), but from surfing around and reading the variety of opinions/assumptions on this matter. I gave up on trying to please “everybody” a long time ago, but still feel self-conscious sometimes KNOWING that people will look at some of what I put out there, particularly something they paid for, and will be dissatisfied. Even when you know you can’t please everybody, you still feel crappy sometimes that you can’t. That you know someone will be distinctly UNhappy because you’re older, because you’re too nasty, because you’re not nasty enough, because you’re shaved, because you’re hairy, because you’re too quiet or not quiet enough. It’s a constant challenge to silence that chatter in your head of what other people might be thinking and listen only to what you yourself want and think. But when I do, I hear that I want more cheap, stretchy, crushed-velvet dresses from the thrift store. I want more of the scenery I love that is home to me. I want more cleavage and swooning and vulgar meaty thighs.

I like being suggestive without fully delivering. I wonder how much of that’s a (mostly) chick thing — enjoying having a scene set and characters drawn and then using your own imagination to fill in the blanks to your own liking whereas (most) men want all of the blanks filled in for them in explicit, glossy detail. I have actually been thinking about duplicating and reformatting the way I present some of my softcore picture sets in order to fill in some of those blanks, or ramp up to the nudity in a way that makes it feel more like a money shot once you get to it, but I’m not sure I’ll ever have time for that project. I think it would be very effective, though.

Lately I feel a little tempted to stop updating my site as frequently and focus more on marketing Delia’s site. Financially, that would make a lot of sense, but I don’t want to do that. The fact that Delia’s site significantly outsells mine does free me up to think of her site as the bread and butter that allows me to totally fuck around on mine and do whatever I want without worrying that we’ll lose our main source of income when I alienate all of my members. Not that this would happen, but the appeal of Delia’s site compared to mine does give me a sense of freedom that it’s not all about me. It doesn’t all rely upon me. That’s a huge relief that allows me to end these annoying trains of insecure thought on a positive note and go back to indulging in my own flights of fancy. In the forest! Twirling around in a long dress! Wearing a gypsy necklace with amethysts! And what more do people want than my boobies, anyway?