TastyTrixie.com

Archive for the ‘transition’ Category

Happy Valentine’s Day to everyone who is into that sort of thing: we’re doing shows today/tonight and tomorrow, so if you’re a member go here and check out our schedule.

Delia and I met a little over eight years ago. Her presence on this blog started out when she was still presenting as a guy. I called her by a number of names then: twat, then houseboy, and eventually Tucker. I’m wondering right now in my head if I can divide the time we’ve been together into four years with Tucker and four years with Delia, but I can’t actually remember how many years it’s been since she officially decided to transition (I think it will be four years in May) and that doesn’t make sense anyway. The way I’ve written this is bad shorthand for something more complex but also more fluid and less dichotomized than that (obviously she is not two people, she is one person and/or we all are multiples).

Maybe that’s why I’ve never been good at remember anniversaries and dates and how-many-years kinds of things, because they create these artificial boundaries. On the other hand, it does feel natural to collect the years and try to package your memories of them with labels. While I might call those first four years the Tucker years, I personally wouldn’t call them “the boy years” of our time together. She has never been a dude even though she presented that way in public. Funny: a lot of our members and fans don’t even realize that Tucker/TrixiesHouseboy and Delia are the same person. Maybe they think they’re fraternal twins and I got to fuck both of them? I don’t think so, but it’s a hot concept for a fantasy.

I don’t think we’re exchanging presents this year or doing anything romantic with each other (we’re doing romantic things on cam instead) but I remember the Valentine present she gave me back in 2002, that first year together. She gave me a metronome and it was the most romantic thing ever! Except I just looked it up in my archives and that was actually a birthday present, so see . . . I’m totally incapable of committing things like that to memory.

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Speaking of Valentine presents, if you find yourself wanting one for yourself or wanting to give one tonight, I updated my wishlist(s) and put a few “sexy” things on my top twenty (I have a lot of inexpensive things listed on my top twenty wishlist and other categorized wishlists: shoes, music, books, sexy clothes, etc.).

If you have a cock or want to gift someone with a cock, get a fleshlight (if I had a cock? I’d have a drawer full of them; instead I just masturbate watching amateur vids of guys using them). The also have vibrating fleshlights now.

For those of us with clits, get an accuvibe; I don’t have one yet, but I’d love a cordless version of my beloved hitachi magic wand.

So yeah . . . wishing everyone plenty of Valentine SELF love (and the other kinds, too)! Perhaps I’ll see you in my webcam show tonight or tomorrow or in our spycam chatroom.

Today marks one of those milestone birthdays for Delia and I wish I could smother her with everything and more than she could possibly ever want:

To the cutest girl in the world: happy birthday, honey!

At the top of her list of desires? BOOBS!

Delia has hormone titties but wants bigger boobies!

After shooting this set of pictures I had one of those moments I *often* have after taking pictures of her of being completely BOGGLED as to her site hasn’t become world famous and made her rich. Seriously — how can you look at her and not think she should be sitting in piles of cash?!? Not that she even wants that — she’s not really into material stuff, but it torments me that all the money she makes on her site and all but a few of our other checks are made out to me to the point where when we filed our taxes she made so little that I was able to claim her as my dependent (we’re not married, but as we discovered this year, I could claim I’m head of household and she’s my live-in sugar baby or whatever “as long as the relationship is not illegal”).

All of that would be fine if we had any spending money, but no — everything of significance goes to running our sites, paying credit cards, trying to pay taxes, and the usual rent and utilities.

I have no diamond ring for Delia, no trip to Disneyland, no little red Corvette in the driveway with a bow . . . and no new boobs. And this all makes me very sad because I am a sugar daddy at heart and totally want to spoil her.

PHOTOS OF DELIA

I’m editing a gallery of Delia’s pictures; usually she picks through and touches up her own photos so this is a rare treat for me. There’s not a lot involved in our editing process (adjusting light levels, contrast, erasing hot pixels and ingrown hairs, etc. all as needed, so on many photos we don’t do anything) but we do go through every single photo individually to make these minor adjustments or to delete super-repetitive or totally worthless shots with no jack-off appeal. For me this is often a time to enjoy our work, especially when they’re photos I shot rather than photos I’m *in*.

The reason I’m editing this gallery? Because Delia didn’t think she wanted it on her site and thought it would be better on the houseboy site. I disagree wholeheartedly, but am glad it means the photos are in my hands now.

I guess she thinks they look too masculine; one problem with black and white photos is that they often dramatize jawbones, wrinkles, veins, hair, and all sorts of things that don’t lend themselves to soft femininity. Also, she’s naked in a most of the pictures and since she’s not on hormones yet, her body is moderately masculine. I say that her members will still adore them. For now, her site is still marketed and named as a crossdressing site (she’ll be developing a DeliaTS.com or DeliaTG.com site eventually which we’ll add to our network) so we know at least some of her members ARE crossdressers who fantasize about being LIKE Delia as much as or more than they do fucking her. I’m just guessing, but I imagine it’s reassuring to see her nude and occupying that grey area of gender, engaging in the familiar ritual of shaving, one of the few things a closeted guy can do regularly with minimal risk of raising suspicions. And all of those mirrors? Come on — so loaded with a billion familiar themes.

It’s amazing how much long hair or a simple bra communicates to us about someone’s gender identity. Actually, it’s more amazing how little is communicated by nudity and how much we “need” clues in the form of clothing to inform us whether we should relate to someone as a woman or a man. We actually don’t have a lot of full nudity on any of our sites except the houseboy site, so that makes this gallery unusual since normally we focus on striptease-style sets with emphasis on familiar fetish attire like panties, tight sweaters, stockings, etc.

I’m fascinated by this transitional period we’re in, Delia changing her name legally and about to go on hormones, us hoping to get pregnant. I love photos like these ones that will be reference points everyone can use to gauge her body’s progress. These are before pictures (though not the beginning by any stretch of the imagination). We’ll be able to look at her muscles, her jawline, her breasts, her balls, her hips, her hands, and her ass in these photos and compare them to a year or two from now when she’ll have more fat.

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Today we’re going to try to do an outdoor shoot of Delia, and tomorrow an outdoor shoot of me. FYI: my period started yesterday and I feel GREAT. All is well and lovely. We were actually going to try to take a whole day off today, but that’s not happening (though we *are* going to have a nice lunch out), nor will it happen at all this week. As a result I feel okay about watching pure buttloads of television throughout the week. Last night we developed an outline of some of the things we need to get done for/in October and I’m looking forward to tackling those things.

Anyway, I *think* Delia is coming around and will post the full set represented in these sample pictures soon. They are so not boy pictures.

WHEN YOUR BOYFRIEND BECOMES YOUR GIRLFRIEND

Some of you may be a little thrown off by the casual way I mentioned that Delia is going to phase out Tucker in favor of living en femme on a full time basis. This isn’t a porn business thing, this is honestly a big life decision; my boyfriend wants to start living life as a transwoman (probably to involve hormones at some point but probably not “bottom” surgery).

I promise we’ll write more about all of this later, but in the meantime I just want to say that the top priority right now is sorting through it ourselves; it’s hard to blog about something when you don’t really have a definite plan of action and you need to focus on quality face time with each other and figuring out how Delia will come out to family and friends.

In general it’s really not as big of a bombshell as it might sound. I can’t say I am 100% prepared, but I’ve known for a long time it was within the realm of possibility. I also can’t say I don’t have ANY issues or fears about this transition from boyfriend/sometimes-girlfriend to full-time girlfriend, but relative to other people’s experiences and expectations this is not a really big deal except in an exciting way. For me (in terms of life changes) I would rank it at the same level as selling a house you really love and have lived in for years in order to buy a sweeter house you also love and that will work better for your family. A little stressful, a little sad, but overall a blessing and positive change. You can make your home anywhere when you’re with someone you love, and I love my boygirlfriend.

I think part of why this change is feeling natural to me more than overwhelmingly scary is that my parents (especially my mom) raised me to shrug off conventions and expectations. My family was fairly unconventional with my dad and stepdad getting along well, and my dad living with my mom’s parents (his ex-mother and father-in-law) long after my mom and dad divorced. Things that weren’t normal for other families were totally normal for us. My mom is the type of person who genuinely thinks we should do whatever makes us happy and fuck everyone else if they have a problem with it. Again, I can’t say that my family won’t have ANY worries about this change, but I am lucky to have been brought up to feel comfortable defying cultural norms and to have a family I can count on to support and accept us without undue drama or shock; I mean, HELLO — they’ve dealt really well with me being a pornographer/virtual sex worker so this might be small beans in comparison. I’m pretty sure both my mom and sister are prepared for the news (which we haven’t exactly given them yet since the news is really REALLY new and I think we want to talk about it in person).

As far as our websites go, we’ll probably take this opportunity to make them a network in the near future (join one, you get access to them all) since we won’t be able to keep TrixiesHouseboy.com going forever as-is but still want to keep it alive and accessible (and probably morph it into a multi-guy site as we get more resources). Also, Delia will no longer be “just” a crossdresser as the domain DeliaCD.com implies, so she’ll also be transitioning to a new domain with a slightly different approach, but of course we’ll want her members to be able to get access to all of the CD site stuff, too. I’ve actually been wanting for a long time to make all of our stuff available to all members regardless of which site interests them most, since I really like showing off ALL of it as one body of work even though it’s more sensible to market each persona individually. I’m not totally sure when this will happen but it might be soon (and later lead to revamping the format of our members-only areas to reflect the all-inclusive approach).

Anyway, I want to be careful to remind people that when I talk about Delia’s transition I can only talk about it from MY perspective; there’s a limit to how much I can know and understand what she’s feeling, hoping and experiencing. Even though we are going through this as a couple, she’s also going through it as an individual (same for me) and I think those could all be pretty distinctive journeys and not one of us really knows for sure where we’ll end up. Happy and together are what I’m aiming for.