TastyTrixie.com

Archive for the ‘TURN-OFFS’ Category

GOOD, BAD & UGLY

Good:
Tucker spied a washer and dryer for sale for $50. With luck we’ll be laundering every dirty thing on the premises by midnight. This could signal the return of pee to my group shows.

Bad:
Doing a group camshow and seeing your stepdad’s nickname in the list of viewers. While it’s incredibly unlikely that it’s him, it’s still really fucking unpleasant and a serious obstacle to enjoying masturbating.

Ugly (but in the best possible way):
John Malkovich in Colour Me Kubrick. Adorably ugly — it’s such a perfect role for him, so manipulatively sexual and totally silly. I love movies about people who are totally full of shit. FYI: I didn’t for a second think the word “ugly” while watching the movie, but I needed something that would fit the bill for ugly and this actually works. And I really just think a lot of you would love this film if you haven’t already seen it. It’s actually only ugly in a sort of Grey Gardens way that’s half repellent and half motherfucking inspiring as in, “I want to be grandly removed from reality and take everyone with me while wearing fabulously wacky ensembles assembled from the rubbish bins of rich people.”

*****

The bad and the ugly of this entry both make me feel like escaping certain elements of my “job” that make me feel trapped, bored and invaded. While doing these free group shows is great, the nature of the internet porn business just gets nastier and nastier; to make a decent living starting from scratch you practically HAVE to give tons of stuff away for free.

As I mentioned in my last vlog, these hour-long explicit camshows we do are now broadcast for free on sites where ANYONE can get access without paying a nickle, without sacrificing even a nugget of their own personal information, without proving they’re over eighteen, and without demonstrating that they have or will ever pay for porn. I don’t blame people for eating up free porn and enjoying these sites, I just don’t want to supply everyone in the known universe with my time and such a high level of interaction and intimate access to me and my body.

But. Even though I don’t WANT to do it I’ve sort of resigned myself to it for the time being because there ARE benefits to doing it and right now, no good alternatives. I’ve dealt with this type of exposure before (namely when the guy hosting our spycams decided to build a site with my name and give our cams away for free to get as many people as possible to get them to download his spyware; not only a sucky thing to have your name attached to, but a really invasive free-for-all inviting people into our home on a virtual basis that basically horrified me). It didn’t kill me, though, and in the end when the site was shut down I did make money off of it when the people shut out from those cams joined my site to get access to them again. The benefits were measurable (being able to offer high quality spycams and getting paid to do so while also getting exposure without any advertising effort on my part) and the costs were really all psychological (big deal! Suck it up! You’ll live! So what?).

Over the years I’ve weighed the psychological costs with the monetary benefits and have concluded every single time that it’s worth it. Yes, I abhor the system which has developed in internet porn with tiers of pimp-web”masters” degrading the value of our pussies and pocketing greater and greater chunks of the profits while competing with one another to give more and more and MORE away for free (making it less and less and LESS necessary for surfers to join our sites to get their jollies), but that’s the way it is now; the only way to avoid it is to get out of the business or deal with it long enough that you can afford to create alternative advertising and live-interaction platforms . For the record, I don’t begrudge *individuals* the money we pay them to pimp us out just like I don’t begrudge individuals access to our free shows as long as they’re available. I don’t blame anybody for making money off of it and enjoying it while they can (and we have been supported and enjoyed the company of many viewers who would never have found us if not for us appearing on those free sites). It’s just a fucked up network of bullshit that whores allow to continue to operate because it’s easy, we’re lazy, and we can’t get our shit together enough to take over the infrastructure ourselves and ditch the profiteers we’ve come to rely upon for their cam networks and such. We’d rather bitch and whine about it and honestly, it’s embarrassing. It embarrasses me that I allow myself to be emotionally affected by it when instead I could buck up, work harder, and make enough money to create solutions where I would not have to relinquish so much control and exclusivity. But god, I do think it’s incredibly degrading to be sexually exposed so cheaply. Sexually exposed is fine as long as I am compensated or it’s a private and consensual thing. Sexually exposed FOR FREE just sickens me. It tears at the fibres of my value system. A few still images here and there, a video clip every so often, or even a live teaser . . . that’s okay. Being able to speak to me, see inside my home, or time your orgasm to happen with mine in real life FOR FREE? I’m opposed to that. It’s ridiculous that we chicks have the cunts but we still roll over and let pimps invite thousands of surfers to fuck them dry FOR. FREE. Some of the chicks with cunts have learned that there’s more money to be made pimping out other chicks than there is trying to reign in the free-for-all atmosphere; with good reason, they’d rather invest their money in creating more advertisement jungles that suck in surfers with the opportunity to see hardcore live action FOR FREE without adequately compensating the performers or focusing on motivating surfers in any meaningful way to pay the performers. Once surfers get their fill of the devalued live content, the site owners know a profitable percentage of their hoardes of mostly-freeloaders will click on ads for stuff they haven’t just gotten for free. Middle-aged woman hungry for love settles for gang bang instead. Lonely girls just want to chat and please you. The site owners make their money on clicks, joins, and even just flying banners and text ads for other FREE sites.

I started camming seven years ago right as the internet porn industry and pay-for-play camming began to be more competitive. As more and more people have gotten online and web savvy, our earning potential should have grown with the traffic increases regardless of new webwhores coming onto the scene, but instead the web has just been glutted with more and more free porn. Instead of competing with other paysites, we have to compete with the people who give our shit away for free (and I’m not talking about people who write lovely reviews or thoughtful blog entries and link to a few free galleries, I’m talking about people who spam search engines with our names, insert their affiliate codes, and redirect that traffic to our sites in order to make 50% off of the sales they essentially stole from us, just as one filthy example, or the cam networks that lease their feeds which consist of our live shows to people who then give them away for free and then take a 50% cut of the few measly sales we make doing those shows; it adds up to more for them, but less for us — they lessen the sales potential of porn in one fell swoop by giving so much away for free and in that same instant capture a hefty portion of all of the decreased sales that are left).

Oh, I know there are people out there who think free porn is such a lovely thing and gosh, I agree it sure is delightful but in the same way cheap shit at Walmart is delightful and toys made in China are delightful; you have to know tha
t someone, somewhere is being underpaid and overworked in hostile, unhealthy conditions while some men are getting fat and rich off of exploiting their sweet young Chinese asses. You’re getting your bargain and consumption-for-cheap, but at what cost to the people who actually do the sweating to provide the goods?

I’ll say it again, though: enjoy it while you can. My intention isn’t to alienate those who provide exposure for our sites or to alienate those who don’t need to (or can’t afford) to pay to enjoy us, it’s to vent and provide some perspective on the costs of being a webwhore. While it sounds like I’m bitching about the financial costs, I’m really not: with hard work we can still make plenty of money to be very happy and satisfied. What I’m bitching about is that a lot of that hard work is EMOTIONAL and it really doesn’t have to be this way . . . it just is. There is an emotional cost for me realizing that hundreds of thousands of people have seen inside my home and had the opportunity to say hideous things to me while watching me stick vibrating things into my holes. I can hear them now saying, “Didn’t you know tons of people would see you naked when you got into this?”. No, actually — I didn’t. Not when I got into it seven years ago because it wasn’t like this. Or at least I assumed that if I were to be exposed to this many people on a regular basis, I would have sales to match. It disgusts me to be surprisingly well-known, recognizable, and enjoyed by so many over the years but not be rich. Seriously, it’s totally backwards — I have no desire to be famous if I’m not going to be rich, too. You should stop doing this if it bothers you so much! Like I’ve always said, I have no problem with being a whore — I just have a problem with being a CHEAP whore. I’ve got no problem with buttloads of people having seen me in compromising positions; my problem is that they got to do so FOR FREE. If you put on a better show, more people would join your site — maybe you’re just too mean and old and ugly to convert that traffic into sales! Entirely possible. I could indeed be a better salesgirl during my shows but then I’d feel like an even cheaper whore if I tried harder. Anyway, you’re deluded if you think it would make a real difference; I honestly think that the more you “please” the crowd in the camshows with smiles, pleasantries, cuteness, and hardcore, the less likely they are to join. Instead they just come faster, leave, and forget you and your site sooner. If you’re not an amazing beauty I genuinely think the best way to get people to remember you is to piss them off. No, the way to make more sales isn’t through shows anymore which have become so easily accessible in such great numbers for such extended lengths of time so as to make them pathetically worthless, it’s through the pimp-web”masters”. With the industry the way it is now, it’s pretty unrealistic to try to make money without them (and honestly, I am actually proud to be able to reward the vast majority of folks who promote us).

I feel now like I need to defend all of this off-putting money talk. I’ve figured it out in my head and you make more money than *I* do!, I hear them say. Actually, you’re probably not figuring in all of our expenses, but so what — after seven years in this industry, I do indeed make more money than a lot of people who generously support us. And those people probably make more money than large villages in Indonesia. Everybody makes more money than somebody else . . . there’s always someone who has got it worse. What I care about is whether I make enough AS A SEX WORKER. As a woman, part of a group of people (other women!) who should have a corner on this pussy market. As a person who is at risk to be targeted by the federal government for obscenity prosecution resulting in prison time and the seizure of ALL ASSETS resulting from pornography, am I adequately compensated? As a person who is vulnerable to the possibility of having relatives have free anonymous access to explicit sex shows she is performing, am I adequately compensated? As a person whose earning potential will decrease with age, am I earning enough to compensate me for the lack of longevity one can expect to enjoy in this field, particularly when you consider that once you’ve been a sex worker and there is any record or public knowledge of it you will be barred from a number of other jobs (teaching, for example — the profession you studied for in college)? These unique factors must be considered when assessing whether or not a webwhore is making a suitable amount of money. Call me crazy, but I think whores should not just be adequately paid, they should be WELL PAID. They should earn enviable amounts of money, even the mediocre ones. As it is in the internet porn industry, however, a girl can make massively more money PROMOTING her corporate-created paysite as an affiliate than she can by being the model in the photos and videos and doing a weekly camshow. That’s not how I want whores to be treated. Not at all.

If I didn’t feel certain that we can make more money in the future, I’d have to say it’s not worth it. I would give it up and just be a web pimp instead of a webwhore. Actually, in some ways that’s what I’m doing since Delia’s site makes twice as much money as mine does. There are definitely things that ROCK about webwhoring, stuff I ignored to make this ranting post, but I seriously do not think it’s worth it, to be at the point where you are recognized as Trixie at the grocery store by strangers who have seen your vagina but you can’t even afford health insurance. That’s totally bass-ackwards. Again, I recognize that I could be making more money — could HAVE been making more money all along by working longer hours, sleeping less, worrying less, enjoying the freedom of self-employment less, getting hypnotherapy to prevent myself from feeling even the slightest sting from being naked and reading text scroll across a screen saying, “SHE IS AS UGLY AS A SLOTH AND GOT HER PUSSY IT TOO HAIRY FOR THIS DAY AND AGE, GET A RAZER YOU SKANK”. Seriously, I’m well-suited to this career and can put that shit into perspective and even enjoy it sometimes (because I don’t find slothfulness or a lack of hygienic modernity all that insulting and the idea of someone razing me is pretty funny) *but* I’d have to be a psycho if I didn’t notice it at all or get frustrated or assess the damage and ask myself if it’s worth it.

The answer, as always, is that it IS worth it. For the past seven years, it has been worth it. And fuck, I can’t think of anything that would make it worth it to quit. I assure you in my most sincere white trash fashion that IF I WERE TO WIN THE LOTTERY I would keep on webwhoring. I would not give it up. Because I *do* love it. I love making blog entries like this and then worrying about how it might upset or confuse someone. I love the challenges. I (especially, perhaps primarily) love the freedom. I love the possibilities. I am addicted to the uncertainty. Sometimes, though, I do feel burned out.

When I watched Colour Me Kubrick I was jealous. Because sometimes I feel like my commitment to our sites and exposing so much of myself has left so little time and energy for me to be a liar. To pretend for a week to be someone else. While faking a persona was never my approach to camming or phone sex, sometimes it was requested and it was always POSSIBLE, the opportunity to be a total whack-job other-person. Now with the spycams and the layers and layers of exposure on our sites, in my blogs, and on the camsites I feel not only that there is no place for me to hide, but there is no room for me to PRETEND. When I did one-on-ones, especially phone sex, I was giddy with the possibilities. Talking to one person and one person only, with no one to overhear, I could be wearing anything I could be doing anything I could be an absolute FREAK. Oh, the dirty things I have done on the phone! But now, with so many people watc
hing and knowing me I feel like I can only be me. My most authentic self. And, worst of all, my BEST self. Me at my best. And I never am (or perhaps my best just isn’t very good).

I feel like if we keep at this and actually DO do our best, in a couple of years I may not have the freedom to go places without being TRIXIE. All of the time, pressure to be the best Trixie I can be even though sometimes I just want to dress up in green socks, pink slippers, a grubby caftan with sequins falling off and a turban sitting askew on my head and go swishing about town with a long cigarette holder, ashing everywhere and never actually smoking, affecting ridiculous accents.

There is a sexual component to this train of thought that’s been dogging me for the past month or six, but I’ll save that for another entry or perhaps a confession for members only.

GHETTO BOOTY XXL VOLUME 2

It’s only the second time we’ve paid for porn via DirecTV; the first time I tried being frugal and ordered one of the cheapest movies I could find; of course, it sucked, mainly because the action and talent didn’t at all match the description and title. Annoying! So this time I splurged on a movie with a standard price ($10.99) and a title that I thought would mean I couldn’t go wrong: Ghetto Booty XXL Volume 2.

The description (”pretty girls make men smile”) didn’t provide any indication what kind of action we’d find, so I hoped there would be a lot of taunting booty-clapping, jiggling, walking and dancing before any sex took place. Of course, I was almost completely wrong. If I’m paying to see a girl’s ass, why would I want to see 20 seconds of it and then two minutes of her pussy VIEWED FROM THE FRONT? I want to see it from behind — hello! If I’m paying to see a girl’s ass, why in the world would I want to see a blowjob in every single scene? And why in the world would every single scene culminate in a cumshot to the face or delivered on the tongue instead of shot all over the ghetto booty I obviously want to see? I totally don’t get it. I love blowjobs and all, but it’s disappointing when you were anticipating lots of ass, not lots of head. I am so sick of the ubiquitous hurried facials, particularly when there are more obvious and convenient places to shoot a load (like, on someone’s ass when the people buying the movie obviously LIKE asses).

Obviously we need to research our purchases a little bit more instead of hoping for the best based on the inane descriptions provided on the tv guide; these kinds of mistakes make it clearer to me why some porn consumers become porn collectors and develop a certain level of expertise regarding their favorite performers, studios, etc. You really have to do some homework to find porn that delivers what you like best.

I’d say that 85% of the moving-picture porn I’ve rented or purchased in my life has been a disappointment. I don’t mean that I have high standards and was expecting greatness, I mean it was either totally boring and/or an actual turn-OFF. The kind of stuff where you practically have to force yourself to masturbate to it just so you feel like you’re getting your money’s worth. That’s really saying a lot considering I’ve happily masturbated to images of FRUIT on a pbs gardening program.

A couple of the biggest turn-offs for me in this Ghetto Booty movie are the same things that turn me off in most porn: unlubricated pussies being fucked and unprotected sex. Nothing turns me off more than seeing a cock shoved into a dry pussy. I fucking HATE it. Lube is not that expensive so BUY SOME AND USE IT. Oh, I know that a lot of guys freak out when lube is used because they think it’s an admission of non-arousal, but isn’t the bone-dry pussy and the talent’s totally bored expression and faked moans a tip-off? Are guys really able to convince themselves porn performer’s are totally into it UNLESS a bottle of lube is introduced and then the whole illusion is destroyed? And as far as unprotected sex goes, I actually do get more aroused watching people fuck without condoms BUT I just wish they would say something at the beginning to assure us that the people were tested and stuff. Maybe it’s a chick thing, but I worry about those girls, particularly when they are being FUCKED DRY which makes risky sex even riskier. I find myself sympathizing with the pain the performers are enduring and worrying about their safety rather than being aroused, and it’s not just because they are women — I feel the same way seeing men fucked up the ass without condoms or lube, or having their penises mauled by insensitive hands or teeth. And honestly it’s not that I don’t like watching certain kinds of rough sex (gagging, choking, spanking, etc), but pointless pain in vanilla engagements just makes me feel so chapped and tense.

I think a lot of women feel the same way I do about stupid-things-in-porn and it could be one of the many and complex reasons women get upset when their male partners enjoy porn so much; how is it that men can enjoy porn without their empathy getting in the way? THOSE ARE DRY PUSSIES!! Isn’t that anti-erotic to them? Isn’t it a turn off knowing that person is in pain? And don’t tell me just because guys don’t have their own pussies that they can’t recognize genuine pain when the performer is saying “Owww!” and cringing when a big fat dick is stuffed in her DRY PUSSY. For a lot of wives and girlfriends it can be really upsetting to suspect that maybe your boyfriend or husband is turned on by things that cause women pain, like, you know — DRY PUSSY. Or that maybe he’s too stupid to notice it or just completely lacks the empathy or imagination to give a shit. Fortunately I have never been in a relationship with a guy who was turned on by dry pussy (I think Tucker was even more bored watching Ghetto Booty than I was), but the fact that this dry-pussy porn sells and is so rampant does make me view men-in-general with a high degree of suspicion and anger.

On the other hand, I think a lot of men just tolerate bad porn rather than lauding it as great; they recognize it’s lame but hey — there aren’t a lot of alternatives and it still “works” for them, so even though they might understand that it’s fucked up and prefer something better, they just take what’s provided. Still, I know that a whole lot of guys honestly *don’t* have any empathy or understanding of what they’re watching, and I know this because I deal with them by the thousands in group shows (and observe them in other people’s shows). The things many of them say indicate to me that they are dangerously ignorant and devoid of compassion. I can understand why some women get all crazy-mad about porn, then, when it brings out some major character flaws in men. Too bad most women who do get all crazy-mad about porn can’t articulate (or are unwilling to recognize) what the REAL problems are (men being encouraged to be totally ignorant of women’s bodies, not having empathy for others, etc.) and instead like to pretend that PORN MAKES MEN that way; they like to pretend that if we got rid of porn and all the women who make money in porn, then men would be perfect little angels!! Good luck, you stupid bitches.

*****

I really would rather spend money on internet porn paysite memberships rather than whole movies, but we don’t have a fancy setup to watch internet porn on a computer hooked up to television in our bedroom; our computers don’t have big monitors and they’re not anywhere near a bed so if Tucker and I are going to watch porn together (or alone in a comfortable bed), it has to be on dvd, vhs, or ordered via satellite. It’s kind of amazing how cheap internet porn is compared to buying one movie at a time. I guess if I want to get serious about consuming porn myself, we’re going to have to upgrade our bedroom’s “entertainment center” to include whatever-we-need to view internet stuff on tv, or get a big monitor and another computer or wireless or whatever-the-hell people do nowadays. I’m so behind-the-times.

HOT POTS

I have to get a loudly-whistling kettle SOON before I burn the house down.

Tucker bought me a beautiful BEAUTIFUL tea kettle; it was large and shiny and lovely. I don’t remember how I managed it, but I burned it to death (perhaps the whistle was too soft-spoken? I don’t recall, but it made me sad when I destroyed it).

I tried getting a new, pretty, red one, but I had to take it back to the store because the whistle was SO weak, and I knew that spelled disaster. I bought a cheap replacement that I also recently managed to neglect during it’s hot process (did I forget to put the whistle-thing down? Or did I forget to tamp down the lid and the steam escaped through there so it wouldn’t whistle?). Whatever; it’s burned up, the black plastic handle melted into hot lava down its silver sides and the bottom blackened and flaky.

Through all of this I’ve managed to not set fire to a house (these aren’t the only water-boiling mishaps I’ve had, just the ones during the past two years). The past few months I’ve been boiling water for my breakfast tea in saucepans. Today I decided to put in a little more water in the pan than usual, which was fortunate because I totally forgot all about it until I left my office to go pee and smelled hot burning something coming from the kitchen. FUCK. Water all boiled off, only mineral remnants frying in the bottom. I *love* that saucepan, too, with its copper bottom. It’s one that came from my mom’s kitchen so it’s been in my life for . . . ummm . . . twenty-five years, at least. I hope it’s still usable since its my favorite pan for popping corn, but it looks like most of the copper is going to flake off.

This latest kitchen casualty will probably motivate me to buy a good new proper tea kettle, which will probably be a relief to Tucker; he gets stressed out when I hold onto my mug with my left hand while pouring boiling water into it using my right. He keeps telling me I’m going to burn myself and I need to SET THE MUG DOWN FIRST. It’s charming, really, how bothered he gets when I take this minor risk.

You might wonder why I don’t just use a microwave to boil water (and pop popcorn). Well, I hate microwaves. HATE them. The only thing they’re good for is softening chocolate chip cookies. Microwaves disgust me — I hate the way they sound, the way they always wind up smelling, the way they look, the way they take up so much space. HATE them. If we had a huge kitchen and money to burn on scary appliances, sure — we’d have one and use it for heating up leftovers and stuff. But I’m not going out of my poor way to stuff one into a tiny-ass kitchen.

By the way, I hate dishwashers too. So there.

There are certain things that should be done by human hands, the old-fashioned way. Washing dishes is one of them. No matter how many times people scoff and tell me about the advances in dishwashers, no one I know has a faultless dishwasher. They all leave crusties or break things every so often. And I HATE the smell of dishwasher-washed dishes (or just the SMELL of a dishwasher running). Blech! I would rather smell food mouldering on a pile of stacked-up dishes waiting to be hand-washed than catch a whiff of that hot steamy dishwasher aroma and have to HEAR its noisiness on top of it. Maybe the problem is that no one I know is able to afford the latest and greatest dishwashing technology, but whatever . . . I doubt I will ever fully trust dishwashers. Even if I were rich enough to have a maid to load the dishwasher for me, I know I’d be skulking around the kitchen making his/her life miserable by questioning her judgement on which dishes s/he would put into the evil machine. Not my favorite mug — noooooooooo!

I know it’s crazy, but I just don’t like the way microwaves cook food. I don’t trust it. I’m suspicious. While it’s delightful that you can microwave bacon and it will come out perfectly cooked and FLAT (instead of curly), there’s something horribly wrong about that. I’ll still eat it and everything, but not before narrowing my eyes at the microwave contraption to let it know that I’m onto it and it better not try anything funnier than making flat bacon.

Sometimes the shit I hear and see in the porn world just makes me want to vomit. Case in point, going into the chatroom for one of my live shows last night and seeing someone who nicknamed himself “RapeBuildsCharacter”. Naturally I banned his ass immediately, but knowing you have an hour to act all “sexy” for an audience of people that include him (because banning only removes him from the chatroom, it doesn’t stop him from viewing the show) can be a challenge OR give you the feeling that you’re involved in something totally sociopathic, and that you must be sick yourself to be able to ignore the presence of such stupid malevolence.

Half an hour later, just as I was still chatting but preparing to masturbate, someone pecked out in the chatroom, “I’d like to punch her right in the mouth”. And then everyone wants to know how “wet” I get in these shows. With that kind of bullshit (and usually a lot less evil, but more persistent and annoying comments) the only kind of lubrication I produce during group shows is synthetic, and is squirted on me and my toys from a bottle. It’s actually a small miracle I’m able to orgasm during these performances at all (and that miracle is delivered by a god named Hitachi).

Speaking of lube, last night I watched part of the E! True Hollywood Story of Jenna Jameson. While I found her slightly more interesting and eloquent than a few other media darlings (that mouth breather Scarlett Johansson, for example) I turned the show off in disgust when they started remarking on all she’s done to educate people on female sexuality. I almost ripped my ears off at that point to stop the auditory assault but before I could do that, there she was, proudly providing an example of her brilliant porn star lovemaking secrets, “I tell ladies not to use lube; use SPIT instead!”

Wow. Thanks for all you’ve done to benefit the “ladies” of the world. We’re all deeply indebted to you. Next time I take my boyfriend’s pole up my ass I’ll make sure he haucks a big phlegm-filled loogie on my butthole to ease his entry lest I make the amateurish mistake of utilizing a pleasant task-specific product like synthetic lubrication. This is really going to improve my sex life: USE SPIT. Maybe I should also make sure to get a set of long dagger-like bacteria-harboring acrylic nails before the next time I fingerbang a girl or myself? Yeah! Smart!! And I’ll make sure that whoever is spitting on me wears garishly-overdone lipstick so I can more thoroughly enjoy the grotesque spitting-clown performance. Oooh, my female sexual intelligence is skyrocketing thanks to these brilliant suggestions and inspiring images! It was all too mind-blowing for me, so I had to turn the television off before my horizons expanded too far for my puny eyes to fathom.

I hope this doesn’t make me sound as evil and whore-hating as those people in my chatroom last night, because honestly I’m happy for her success and . . . whatever (even though the show informed me that she’s NOT a whore . . . she’s a BUSINESS-WOMAN; color me confused, because I thought whoring IS a business). But I had to laugh when I logged into her webmaster program to get the link code for her site (because no way am I sending people to her site without the possibility of scoring some dough for myself) and I read that SHE SOLD OUT TO PLAYBOY. Yes, after all that bullshit jive talk about how she owns her own brand and about how she’s such a savvy in-control businesswoman, I read that she sold the internet empire (her husband) built to Playboy. Whatever. I’m sure she’s to be congratulated for this sale, but it doesn’t mesh with the hype and image she tried to project, at least on the show I watched last night. I don’t follow all of the hoopla surrounding her, but I suppose this probably has to do with her whole “Jenna Loves Babies” campaign for motherhood or whatever. Way to stay in control, girl! What an inspiration!

Warning . . . I won’t be publishing any comments of the “you’re just jealous, Trixie and it’s so ugly on you!” variety.

Oh, and I should mention that I’ve nothing against using spit as lube in a pinch or when just a wee dab of moisture is desired, the problem I have is with someone advising AGAINST using lube as though spit is a superior form of lubrication when it IS NOT.

OPEN ME UP???
Well, another week, another members’ update published. This time there’s a new link to KSex Radio’s live shows which were just added to the Camz network, and almost a half hour of video from the show Tucker and I did on Christmas day which most people didn’t get to see.

My favorite part of the show is when someone in the chatroom commanded Tucker to “open her up”, to which I responded, “open me up? What do I look like, a fucking can of spaghettios?”

Someday I’d love to do a video compilation of me reaming people out, but I’m not sure I could afford the bandwidth for such a gigantic movie. It would be great fun for a dvd, whenever I learn how to make one of those and have the proper hardware and software.

During the same show, I wore one of my favorite pairs of underwear: white cotton brief panties edged with red lace and a tiny red satin bow. Some guy in the chatroom named “Camron” kept remarking on them, suggesting, “you should invest in a thong” and “need to lose the granny panties”. If I had time to properly school him, I’d have let him know the following:

#1) I only change my attire for people who pay me by the minute to field their personal requests.

#2) If I am wearing a certain pair of panties during a show, chances are it’s because I like them and find them sexy myself which means that if he isn’t paying me by the minute, I couldn’t care less what his personal preference is, because mine is all that matters.

#3) INVEST in a thong? As though because during one hour of one day of one week of one month I am wearing one pair of underwear, it must mean I do not posess any others; very stupid assumption.

#4) Let’s pretend I don’t own a thong: if there is an article of clothing I do not own but someone wants me to wear, the appropriate thing to do is to ask for my mailing address so he can send me whatever it is.

#5) Anyone who doesn’t appreciate the appeal of modest white cotton panties probably will not appreciate me, my site, my shows, or most of what I have to offer. White cotton panties rock my fucking world. I’m sure there are people I have much in common with who could care less about white cotton panties, but anyone who would ADVERTISE that while I’m wearing them, stupidly assuming I could only be wearing them out of a lack of options or ignorance regarding what is “sexy”, is himself mentally incompetent and has really really really bad taste.

Speaking of shows, I have one tomorrow (Tuesday). 1 pm Pacific Time. After that I’ll be webwhoring for a couple of hours, then Tucker has a show at 5 pm. If you come in, don’t joke about my panties, because I won’t get it and will just sigh with the exhaustion of a bored whore who has put up with entirely too much bullshit, and you’ll be tempted to point out what a humourless bitch I am.

I’m not sure if that sounds bitter, so let me just say I really like the whore I’ve grown into and somehow my cranky, fatigued whore routine is more entertaining to lots of people then the boringly spritely, over-enthusiastic, and fakey whore routine other camgirls have going on.