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Archive for the ‘TURN ONS’ Category

Would you be surprised to hear that I’m genuinely INSPIRED by some women’s personal stories of swinging and/or just seeing them fucking and sucking? Here are a few on my mind lately:

*Our friend Sabrina’s blog, Swinging in the Suburbs. I’ve mentioned it before, but she’s been posting more frequently lately and has the perfect balance of honest reflection and erotic titillation (hello bad boy cop story!), plus some provocative questions to ponder.

*Janet Mason’s site and blog: Janet Exposed. I’m not sure why I’ve never explored her site before – she’s been around online since 1998. Today I dove in and read a lot of stuff on her site and LOVE what she has to say.

Janet Mason loves big black cock!

Janet loves the way dark skin looks against her white skin.

I think reading her FAQs page is the reason why I got very excited about the fat, long cucumber Delia brought home from the store tonight. Yes, it’s a far cry from the giant black cocks Janet loves, but she got me so tuned into craving the phallus that I couldn’t help it. On top of that it’s good to read personal stories from women our age about the effects of stress on maintaining a sexy web presence for over a decade. I don’t mean that I’m happy other people have challenges, it’s just a relief and comfort to read people being honest about them.

*Angelique XXX (also a swinger): I just posted a guest gallery of her in my members-only area after finding some of her photos from her recent pregnancy.

Angelique XXX in tight white tank top & jeans.

Pregnant Angelique squeezing her swollen breasts.

I’ve always admired her French Canadian brand of beauty and was really happy to see the pregnant stuff after hearing awhile back that she initially hadn’t felt sexy pregnant. Again, it’s not that I celebrate the idea of her doing something that she didn’t enjoy; rather I enjoy thinking about the process she might have gone through to arrive at a place where she DID feel sexy (and of course the resulting porn is just HOT, especially to someone like myself who has always had the hots for her — seeing her transformed and expanded like that is erotic and potent to me).

I know, all of these words are very dorky and old-manlike, but they’re part of the truth. The part of the truth that just wants to share some hot mama porn without overthinking it to death.

It’s interesting how excited I get about these women’s portrayals of their sex lives even though I wouldn’t want to have their experiences myself. Not exactly, anyway. I don’t think I’ll ever want to be “filled up” and “stretched” the way some chicks (like Janet) do (I find deep penetration painful; I come faster and more often fucking guys with small cocks), but I do relate completely to being extremely aroused just by the sight of a really REALLY big cock. I’ll never be someone who specifically seeks out “black cock” to fetishize (but yeah, I might have a tiny little bit of an agenda in wanting to have sex with black WOMEN). I don’t think I’ll ever want to invest the amount of time in arranging to meet and fuck so many people (and be all clean and gorgeous and multi-orgasmic while doing it) but I do want a little bit of what they have one of these days, for both Delia and I.

But mostly for Delia. I am more of the husband-with-the-camera type.

Honestly, I *have* meant to write more about the whole open-relationship/swinging thing and my idea of what kind of openness is desirable/ideal to me (and what kinds are NOT). And discuss the whole subject of having stunt cocks/guest “models” to fuck on camera. And what I liked about having multiple sex partners in the past. And why that’s not a big priority for me right now, but I anticipate will be again. Someday . . .

Warning: this post might gross out some people, so if a certain word in the title makes you uncomfortable, the rest of this entry will probably heighten your discomfort:

I SO enjoyed my nightgown camshow last month (and had an awesome one the day before, too). I wore a long nightie that always makes me feel SO sexy and SO pretty and such a feminine tease. Someone I worked with years ago gave me three Eileen West nightgowns I never ever would have bought for myself, but now that I have them I want a dozen more:

Big Boobs Look Plush Under Pleated Cotton Nightgown

I guess I just really like the feeling of white lengths of cotton flowing all over my body with no panties or bra (like my long white May Day dress).

Pretty lady in long cotton nightgown looks like a sweet mommy tucking you in.

I *especially* like the way these nighties make my jugs look so generous and mobile and soft with the pleats adding more fabric to accentuate them bursting forward. So so ripe and full.

Modest and non-nude, but suggestive and succulent

In my show it was like poetry, talking about being a lady in a long nightgown, and what ladies in long nightgowns like to do and how their pussies get so wet underneath their long long nightgowns. I felt so pretty and iconically feminine, like if Victoria magazine included porn (never gonna happen, I know). Don’t you just want to push that white cotton up-up-up? And see and smell some soft, furry bush?

Free pics of me from a few years ago in a similar night gown: http://www.trixie.com/tgp/Trixie/see-through-nighty

It’s gross I guess, but I also love how skinny my arms and legs look wearing this nightgown. It’s the most feminine interpretation of skinniness, I think. Everything looks so long and pretty and gracefully awkward compared to everything in the middle looking so abundant and juicy.

It made me want to log in to the pay-to-view camsite I’ve been working and make all the boys want me to be their pretty mommy in her modest white nightgown. It’s such a familiar mommy-in-summer look, the soft cotton wafting faded mommy perfume and hugging hands reaching out on long arms to drawn you in. There’s nothing overtly sexual about it except that it’s all ALL all woman, and the modesty is the most naked you might get. A silhouette if the light is right, a sour-sweet stubbly armpit, some long pale leg if she gathers it up a little to step through the dewy lawn to get the paper in the morning.

It’s a look that provokes powerfully confusing strong feelings in a lot of people of both innocent love and taboo lust.

*****

That day we had more people in members-only chat than we’ve had in MONTHS, which also boosted my spirits terrifically. And really everything started looking up on Thursday when and after we fucked (don’t you think this is true?).

Sleepy mommy-type's big Victorian "dirty pillows"

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If you want to get me a similar nightgown or inexpensive night slip to fill out my pretty mommy wardrobe, I have a couple ON SALE on my wishlist! It would be nice to have a couple of new drowsy sleepytime gowns to wear this summer.

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I hope to blog more later about 1) the camming I’ve been doing and 2) my own shame, discomfort and conflicted feelings about role plays I get off on.

I meant to post this before we left last week, but better late than never! See also TrixieAndFriends preview:

Trixie's thick ass and lenses

I would love to be able to justify shooting more porn wearing my glasses but I’m never sure if many people are into it (and if lots of others are definitely NOT into it). Normally I wouldn’t care, but shooting photos with glasses on is actually kind of hard to get right without a bunch of crazy reflections off the lenses. Anyway, I guess I’m just begging for people to tell me how aroused I make them when I wear my specs.

You can check out other people’s Half Nekkid Thursday pics for this week here (links are in the comments). There just might be some good solstice-celebrational pics in there.

Big Boobs with Giant Areolas on Blonde with Thick Glasses

And if you want to see me getting a load of cum on my glasses, here’s a preview of role play video we did that winds up that way (NOTE: if power play role plays trigger you, DO NOT watch this):

We shot a whole set of bushy pictures specifically to recreate one yummy vision of my bush visible beneath the hem of my short red skirt:

HNT: bush below short skirt from behind/bent over

I can’t overstate how fucking hot that image is. It could never get old/unsexy to me no matter how many variations of this pose and similar ensemble I were to be exposed to.

You can check out more Half Nekkid Thursday pics for this week here (links are in the comments).

Here are a few teaser thumbs to give you an idea of what the whole set is like up in my members-only area:

showing off my muff for members

I’m not hairy right at the moment, but I will be again (and in the meantime will shoot more “smooth” stuff for people who like it that way while also trying to keep things furry with stuff we shot during hairier times). I would like to get enough shaved content shot and queued up that I could have time to grow everything out again ALL THE WAY including my armpits and alternate between hairy and smooth updates because I am genuinely aroused by a variety of body hair “styles”.

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Note to members: we have camshows and members-only chat scheduled Friday – Saturday. Speaking of chat and cams, we’re in the process of making some slow improvements to our main spycam plugin. For now the only visible change is that we’re using “our” chatroom on that site now, so our members-only chats will be held there right on site. In the past that site was leased to other members-only areas so we weren’t able to “steal” their members by talking about our own sites. For now that’s not a problem.

In the long run we hope to have at least two or three different versions of that site (one for camgirls’ members, one for affiliates to promote and one non-compete version for leasing) and get the software and user interface improved to make it profitable again. We are still in the planning and fundraising stage and there are still quite a few unknown factors and variables. Overall, though, we’re very excited about the possibilities of realizing the long-overdue potential of our favorite adult spycam site. Fortunately we are not doing it alone; Mina and Joe are equally committed. UNfortunately, all of us are already attempting to do way too many jobs so we can’t focus nearly enough attention on this particular project.

Our spycam and behind-the-scenes portal for our members, SpyOnUs.com, for example, is now a big hot mess that I’m not sure how to fix. I hope to tidy up a few things before Saturday’s chat session, though.

A truly upper-half-naked animated webcam shot of me:

Oops! There goes my "shirt" . . .

You can check out more Half Nekkid Thursday pics for this week here (links are in the comments).

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A lot of people are remarking on the decline of porn as a money-making industry in the wake of the AVN awards and AEE (Adult Entertainment Expo which used to be called Internext when we went). I don’t agree with all of people’s pet theories and some of the observations are either wrong or irrelevant or both, but it’s true that the business model corporate porn and webcam sites are built on is not sustainable; it’s been a steady downward spiral ever since I started camming in the year 2000 but for reasons more complex than any of those “top five reasons” listed like “porn star hookers”, who have a sum total of zero impact on the profitability of porn, or, if anything, INCREASE its profitability.

As my webwhore years go by, I am more and more convinced that the really valuable, addictive, and marketable aspects of internet “porn” have nothing to do with quantity or technical quality or extreme degree of hardcore. I become more and more certain that the tiny, simple, grainy, daily, personal living intimacies are the only things that can possibly hold their value. Too bad they are made virtually invisible by the vast machinery of corporate porn and unrecognizable by the way people have been trained by industry standards and freebie jack-off habits (and devaluing porn whores to the point of giving live face time with them away for FREE) to not SEE it even when they do run across it. I’m not *completely* bashing corporate porn which in many ways is often delightful, just ruminating on how much more potent pixelated animated .gifs and lifecams continue to be for arousing the kind of attachments and naughty feelings that make people want to be lifetime members of a site and collectors of everything someone makes.

I would love to be able to maintain industry standards while also returning to emphasizing our live content and lo-fi personal stuff more, but it’s nearly impossible to attract any attention or have industry people take your work seriously if you aren’t making so much content that you’re able to give 75% of it away for free (and tolerate that the other 25% will be stolen). Instead of spending time being more creative and fucking and masturbating, I have to spend more and more time building “promos”, hoping to dump enough free stuff into the oceans of free stuff to get enough fans to sustain our work.

Note: I totally agree that online gaming and simplistic, yet addictive and time-consuming interactive this-and-thats are taking attention and money away from porn. If I could afford to hire programmers to make a mafia wars style “game” for our sites I think we’d be rolling in dough (I am seriously inspired by the fact that enough people pay to play those games to make them profitable – I’ve been learning a lot from studying the way those “games” work on people’s minds and wallets; those facebook/myspace games have no real value — none at all — yet people feel compelled to shell out oodles of time and money on them; fascinating! I can think of a bunch of ways to apply those principles to porn sites, but of course don’t have the time and money to implement them).

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I am late posting my update for members this week which makes me want to make it extra special, except the reason it’s late in the first place is that I didn’t feel like I had something the right degree of specialness to post on Monday. Mulling things over. And building promos in the meantime, of course.

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Good news: I called the IRS this morning and was reminded once again that GOVERNMENT BEAUROCRACY IS AWESOME. No, I’m not being sarcastic. When it comes to customer service, the people who work for the IRS are gold. They are ANGELS of mercy. TRULY HELPFUL. So our debt crisis is averted and for now we can keep making all of our payments on things (but obviously still need to magically make assloads more money by April).

Other good news: I don’t know if it’s the B vitamin shot I got on Monday or having my period and a cold or eating better or stretching and exercising or what the hell, but the past couple of nights I’ve wanted about three hours less sleep than usual and have been feeling GREAT (except for the cold symptoms).

In other words, life is good . . . all is well.

A quick post to share a couple of my favorite 12-second booty-shaking videos of our friend AmberLily:

I like U2, what about you? on 12seconds.tv

G’morning bootie shake! on 12seconds.tv

I do not have the athletic ass-shaking skills, but I *did* get some very nice feedback from a couple in Finland about one of my cutest and least appreciated assets: my jiggly TUMMY! I love our European members and I love reading compliments that are charmingly ESL (English as a Second Language, or probably one of many):

Hi Trixie,

You have a lot of great pics in members area. Your body is very beautiful and you have cute face, also without make-up. It´s also really sensuous to see your hairy twat and armpits, especially. As well your tits are just perfect such as your shiny, slim 10 points legs. Butts…they are so incredible…and hips miraculous womanly. But guess what…? Best part of your perfectness is belly. Frankly i can say it´s one of sexiest and pictoresquest belly that i have ever seen. My wife also like to watch your pics, and she thinks that your wonderful woman.

Thanks for making my day with that email (and to everyone else who writes; I just happened to be struck by the loveliness of this one today and felt like sharing)!

I’m so excited that the days are starting to get longer even though it’s still the middle of winter. At least we’re over the hump!

After going years and years without getting a cold, I finally came down with one. Delia had it first and I thought I was going to make it unscathed so I could keep bragging about how I’m super-immune, but alas, not this time. My head is all stuffed up and achey, ears plugged, throat sore and dry, nose chapped & plugged then alternately running . . . and weirdly, I’m kind of enjoying it. It gives me bodywide memories without a lot of pictures of years past, like the feeling of being a kid home from school with grandma bringing me chicken noodle soup in bed. Of having stacks of library books filled with exciting stories and every single one of them new and nothing cliche. I know it sounds cheesy, but I’m pretty sure these feelings are of freedom and excitement or enthusiasm for the future, that whole “ignorance is bliss” sensation of being a kid. Not that being a kid was BLISS for me (I wouldn’t relive my childhood or teenage years for a million dollars), but there were elemental emotions that are hard to experience as an adult. Somehow having a head cold is giving me tastes of them.

We also got rid of DirecTV / our DVR. We’re about a year overdue for that cancellation and after just a few days I already feel more in-the-moment. We’re going back to our method of just Netflixing stuff we want to see. It’s amazing how much of a difference it makes just not having to fast forward through the commercials; I get so much more relaxed so much more quickly that I don’t feel like watching much. And not constantly worrying that the DVR only has 18% space left and we’re going to MISS something or something will be ERASED . . . what craziness.

Since I know you’ll ask: I continue to resist watching tv via the internet (ex. hulu) for a number of reasons, partly because we don’t have a good interface between our pc’s and our tv (and there is no way I’m going to sit at a computer and watch “tv” — I spend enough hours at the computer for work). Also, most of our bandwidth is eaten up by our 24/7 spycams and all of the work-oriented uploading we have to do. We bought one episode of Gossip Girl on itunes and couldn’t get the pc-to-tv connection to work right, had to waste that time downloading, etc. It just wasn’t relaxing and felt like MORE WORK.

Also, I really need to stay away from ads. All of the stuff competing for my attention on the internet literally saps my brain’s strength. And any food advertisements? Those fuck me up so bad – I have no willpower over burger commercials late at night. It’s like a switch is flipped inside me and I have to eat SOMETHING . . . ANYTHING when the television or any kind of monitor presents me with suggestive and colorful mouth-watering food pictures.

So yeah . . . I pretty much spent today in bed with my cold and my period. My members-only update is going to be late (I was hoping we might shoot a stuffed-up-and-sneezing blowjob video, but I’m not sure if we can pull that off . . . I’ll see how my symptoms progress tomorrow; I know some of you are going to be like, “WTF?? Why would I want to see THAT?”, but that kind of stuff is fetish gold AND it makes me horny).