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I probably transmitted this message spontaneously using the telephono.

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Yesterday I woke up NEEDING to fuck after having vivid, happy, kissing and sex dreams about a certain married man and two hot younger women with me somewhere in the middle.

With so much work on our plates I thought maybe my arousal would dissipate after breakfast and I could get cracking right away, but my desire to fuck just got more urgent so I asked Delia to meet me in bed after brushing our teeth and stuff (no, I’m not the type of person who needs everything to be clean, but sometimes it’s nice).

We turned on some music, kissed each other, groped each other, did some grinding, and fucked. Though we eventually wound up coming together in my favorite position with me on top, Delia served up some straightforward pumping in a variety of other positions first which I REALLY NEEDED. Just some rhythmic, direct, insistent fucking accompanied by confused images running through my head of a parade of people fucking me. It’s amazing how into Delia I can feel and so connected to her while at the same time my brain is populated by fantasies of fucking other people, too.

*****

Good news: today Delia’s new site, DeliaTS.com, is officially accepting new members!

Delia's New Site

If you haven’t checked Delia out recently, definitely hit her new pics page and the free video sample (I have a hand, literally, in some of the clips).

We finished it awhile ago but we before announcing it we had to get approval from our payment processor and Visa which takes times. Her new site is a continuation of the old one so I’m not sure how much of a difference it will make to current fans and members (if you are a member to one of our sites now, you automatically have access to this one, too, and all of our others). The big thing for us is that it’s in line with her identity as a transwoman and looks shinier and more up-to-date so we do a better job of accurately selling her. I know, that’s a big turn-off to some people, being reminded that we have to actually make money on our sites, but it SHOULD be a turn-ON; the more successful we are, the more and better porn we can make! Eventually we would love to shoot people for her old sites, both Trixie’s Houseboy AND DeliaCD, but right now we don’t have the time or money. Someday!

I am so much healthier physically than I was a year ago and think we’re at an age and approaching a stage in life where we might become more sexually adventurous with other people. Not right now, but soon. I’m feeling really frustrated mentally and physically because I have years of catching-up to do on geeky webmaster work — unstimulating desk-job stuff that requires a lot of concentration, patience, and sitting still staring at the computer for hours on end. It’s all stuff we need to finish make more money and pay our debts which are all coming to a giant head. I’m having a hard time not complaining about how I really want to be OUTSIDE enjoying my body or INSIDE FUCKING or dancing or doing more creative things with our time than soul-sucking technical stuff, but it has to be done and it WILL pay off. And there will be more fucking soon, I can FEEL it. Just not as soon as I want.

*****

We’ve got shows and members-only chat scheduled tomorrow night (Friday) and Saturday. Members CLICK HERE for our schedule/exact times and to gain entrance to them. Hope to see you there!

I must’ve had my head up my ass when I worried that reserving a cabin for three nights was too LONG for a porn-shooting trip without running water or electricity or phones or internet of any kind. More like NOT LONG ENOUGH.

Being in the woods on the Olympic Peninsula, the proper WET woods southwest of us (unlike what we have here in the dry rainshadow), always feels like heaven to me. I’m not exaggerating: HEAVEN. Like what it would/should look and feel like if there were to be that kind of a fantasy afterlife (except I wouldn’t have to be scared of having my scalp ripped off by a cougar in heaven, but I digress).

Anyway, it was great. FANTASTIC, the level of peace and tranquility I felt there. The lack of pressure and the way everything worked out just right. The way we had so much beautiful SPACE to sprawl out and shoot in with very little chance of intrusion. The way the weather couldn’t have been more perfect. The way we walked for miles.

And when we got home? I pretty much instantly fell apart into a nervous wreck.

It’s not that I think running off and living a “simple” life is the Answer to All My Problems or something I want on a daily basis (I don’t), but experiencing it for a few days did highlight some of the things that I desperately need to fix in real life (like not having so MANY options and obligations every second of every day).

It’s a small fix, but we’re going to get rid of DirecTV completely and of course just keep plugging away on the usual stuff with a better reminder of what we could have if we got ahead, just a little bit: the freedom to fall behind and drop out more often . . . AND make better porn because of it. It’s amazing how doing so much of my job every fucking day gets in the way of DOING MY JOB RIGHT.

Also, I have serious problems being distracted by every day life and PEOPLE and the noises they make and our computers and all of our shit, though, so coming home was like putting my head in a blender after all of that peace and quiet and fresh air. I know it sucks for voyeurs who want to watch a blissed-out horny woman rolling around in ecstasy or at least looking fresh and cute and bisected by cleavage but instead get me, frowning and muttering under my breath about how I’m going to shoot myself in the head if trivial problems and distractions interrupt my flow just one more fucking time. I am so sorry that has been the story of my lifecams for far too long.

Anyway, I would manually scratch all the skin off my left arm using the fingernails of my right if it would mean I could spend a third of my life in a cabin in the woods, peeing outside and eating pickled sausage on the back porch. Unfortunately I’ll have to go about things the hard way: plodding forward, tiny steps at a time.

FYI: I’ll try to post more about the magic of our little cabin experience. Also, I’m posting the rest of these pictures of me by the river on Monday for members. Delia is posting a set as I type this: see SAMPLE HERE – it is SO FUCKING AWESOME to be able to get almost any angle you want from whatever distance you want unconstrained by four walls.

*****

We have webcam shows (with masturbation and all that jazz) and members-only chat scheduled for tomorrow (Sunday) and Monday, so check out our schedule if you’re a member and perhaps we’ll see you then!

We’re about to head out the door soon (only an hour later than planned) and won’t be home until Friday. There’s no power or running water where we’re going, so we won’t be responding to email, broadcasting cams, etc. Not that you need running water for those things, but you DO need power.

I’ll try to tweet and post twitpics if we’re in range for such things.

Keep your fingers crossed that we get a bunch of pretty porn shot! Weather looks great and the forecast is for no rain EVEN THOUGH WE’RE HEADING INTO THE BOWELS OF THE RAINFOREST! Perfection . . .

Friends with our phone numbers: if it seems like someone read my blog and decided to hack me while we were gone, please give us a call; it often seems like suspicious shit happens whenever we’re gone and I announce it here.

Wondering why there’s been a deathly quiet here on my blog? It’s because I’m revamping in a major way and don’t want to post here and then have to manually import into the REVAMP.

I hope you won’t have to wait much longer; I’ve promised myself not to wait until it’s *perfect* to unveil it (partly because that won’t actually be possible; there are some things I can’t fix until it goes live), especially since we’ll be launching DeliaTS.com around the same time (the other reason why things are quiet here – we’re juggling multiple “projects” which is typical, but they’re feeling very urgent right now and sweet jesus I can’t even type about it, trying to convey the enormity of pressure, without starting to hyperventilate).

As usual, tons of things I *want* to blog about (like how Conan will never be the same anymore and I can’t stand his new set — really IMPORTANT things that make me cry myself to sleep or keep me up all night lamenting the passage of time and inevitability of change). Of course I’m still updating inside with porn for our members, but we have GOT to get this other shit done. So you can look at pretty fun things! I know you’re sick of hearing me bitch & moan about how outdated our sites are and wonder what is TAKING so long for us to just fix them already! I really wish I were skilled enough to snap my fingers and have it be done and over.

Anyway, we are going to be gone (much longer than I *want* to be gone) this week trying to shoot a bunch of porno in the woods so looks like it will be mid-September before you can see some of our work come to fruition. And actually be entertaining or mildly amusing or more absorbing than posts like this one.

Thanks for sticking with me, friends, foes and fans! I hope you will like our new site designs better than I like Conan’s new set with all those light blue backgrounds with all those distracting LINES.

I just *know* what goes around, COMES around and for every time I’ve shrieked at the tv screen about that annoying frosted section of plexiglass behind Conesy’s head or those flimsy-looking wooden borders around his super mario bros. screen with their annoying verticality and stick-ness, there will be ten people who HATE the way I’m changing up my site. It’s not soothing! It’s too busy! IT IS DIFFERENT, THEREFORE BAD! And holy shit, it’s totally not sexy at all! Poetic justice for all. Or at least for Trixie. ON THE WAY!

Oh dear GOD! THE LINES ARE NOT STRAIGHT! The lines behind Conan are not straight! They are not running perpendicular to the bottom of the frame!! Oh, Jesus KILL ME — those motherfucking lines are not straight, or if they are for a moment I know it only takes the slightest movement for everything to be out of alignment once again!! And that wooden base! IT’S TOTALLY NOT RUNNING PARALLEL TO THE BOTTOM OF THE FRAME! THE HORROR!!!!

Yes, the thoughts in my brain are TOTALLY FUCKING ANNOYING. And now you have some idea of why it takes me forever to finish anything that involves building things that are supposed to have straight lines. I can’t abide things being out of whack in relation to each other, yet I’m not smart or talented or patient enough to bring them INto alignment.

And that, my friends, is why I often have to lock myself in a dark room and bury myself under mounds of pillows to calm down.

Seriously, though; all of those lines are REALLY ill-advised for shooting any kind of moving pictures. And while I can actually tolerate them if I try, it’s impossible for me to actually RELAX with that mess of crookediness happening on the television screen.

My sister came over this weekend with our nephews to spend a couple of nights. I figured we’d still be able to get work done when they went out on Saturday for a community event, which of course I would NOT go to. Because work is SO much more important, sitting here in front of the computer, working while I can literally feel the muscles and skin and hold-it-together-stuff in my thighs and ass breaking down into gobs of useless jello while I workworkwork.

But when my three year old nephew looked at me and asked in that hopeful and slightly anxiety-riddled voice if I was coming WITH them to the fair, I COULD NOT SAY NO. Even though I got about four hours less sleep than I usually do, waking up at 6:30ish which is unheard of for me (yeah, I know, you’re like, “cry me a river” but I also often stay up working until midnight, one, two am . . . anyway).

So I put some clothes on and we went and immediately I was glad I came with them when I heard the band warming up. A very filled-out community marching-type of band! We got there just in time and everything turned to magic for me, because it’s all about the kids and the music and being able to walk around the people playing their instruments and look at them from all angles and point to all of it, naming the instruments and using my Excited Kindergarten Teacher Voice! I have one of those, believe it or not, that comes very naturally to me.

We got behind the band, next to the lady drummers, and I picked him up so he could see the conductor, and I marched and danced and swayed with him in my arms to Sousa marches and Blue Moon. They were old people and little kids and a bagpiper a block away and I remembered how much I love being around regular people making music, how vital it is to dance and make noise.

I love doing new or not-done-lately things that make my body make sense. There are lots of those things: running really fast when you’re in decent shape and feeling yourself turn into an almost-flying machine, fucking, getting massages . . . and holding a baby or a child. Everything that’s soft and loose and floppy about me makes perfect SENSE. I felt so grounded and connected, and so sad when Mr. Squishypants was too shy to try to hula hoop on the street in front of everyone, but because I was an auntie on an excursion with them I didn’t exist the way I would have if we’d gone there alone, so *I* hooped and finally got to feel exactly how awesome those weighted hula hoops I’ve been coveting are.

Because I’m not used to picking up and holding anything heavier than the stupid ideas in my head, I went to bed last night with sore, cramping arms and a feeling in my torso like the rocking sensation when you get off a boat after a day of sailing; I could still feel baby Skywalker snuffling against and squirming and pawing at my chest, the embodiment of the word “dimples”, like a round gelatinous ghost-bubble encasing the IDEA of grinning-baby-kicking-in-shallow-bath and cute-baby-kittens-at-play was against me.

*****

On the same day as all the fun, we also had some crazy stuff happen. Our dog got all tangled up and stuck on her rope down the hill IN THE MIDDLE OF A YELLOW JACKET’S NEST. It was crazy-scary and I’m so glad it wasn’t worse AND that my sister was here to help. Poor Mr. Squish was semi-traumatized by all the hubbub with us telling him to STAY INSIDE AND NOT MOVE while we ran around like crazy with the bees swarming in in clouds. It was horrifying seeing our dog trying to get away from them, not able to let her into the house while they stung and stung and stung her around the muzzle. I’m really surprised that Delia, who rescued the dog, didn’t get it worse (amazingly, no stings on her face or neck, but her arm is swollen up and we won’t be shooting pics of her ass until the stings she got there are gone).

Later, while we waited for a parade, a guy came down the street trying to get signatures for a petition (which I doubt will do any good) for the public insurance option. An asshole next to us got up in the guy’s face about it, and my sister (who is a nurse) in turn got up in HIS face. So we spent about twenty minutes doing our civic duty, fighting with this stranger. While we ganged up on him, tears welled up in poor Mr. Squishypants’ eyes just from watching the angry exchange.

It probably was all for nothing, but I hope we gave that guy something to think about.

For the record, even though I voted for him I never thought Obama would do anything to fix health care. I still don’t, and suspect whatever half-assed efforts are made will only be counterproductive to eventually getting real universal health care in this country. And no, I don’t want to have a big argument about it in the comments, thank you very much. But here’s a news flash: EVERYONE NEEDS HEALTH CARE, and “insurance” isn’t an effective way of taking care of people’s basic health care needs. And personally? I believe EVERYBODY deserves quality health care and that it’s inexcusable for a wealthy country like ours not to make sure EVERYBODY has it. A non-profit public insurance plan isn’t my idea of the perfect solution, but I do think it’s better than nothing. I don’t think the way they’re trying to go about it is equitable, but whatever.

*****

As happy as I am to see my sister and the kids, I’m always relieved (though sad) to see them go.

We’re now going back to normal, logging all our spycams back in (we pretty much only have our office cams up when they’re here), turning the audio back on, and, as usual, wishing we all lived closer so I could get smaller doses of that on a more regular basis. I need to do some push-ups so I’m stronger next time, because our nephews are only going to get bigger and I want to be able to dance with them in my arms and pick them up and cuddle them as long as possible.

Just checking in to say I’m alive with lots of fun, exciting things, and challenging stuff going on. Well, fun, exciting, and challenging TO ME. Most of it wouldn’t translate into great blog reading, some of it I can’t post in the kind of detail that makes it worth your time, and mostly I’m just trying to get some other stuff done.

I was going to post some pictures along with this to make it more interesting, but blogger doesn’t want to let me. And I don’t have extra time to do workarounds, so . . . later.

I know the blog still looks like crap and has a bunch of unfinished stuff. I have a new plan for attacking that, though, and am working on it now, along with 497 other things.

Note to people who’ve emailed me recently or in the past and haven’t heard back yet: it’s not you, it’s me. FOR REAL. And you’re not alone. It’s just extremely rare for me to have the spare computer time and enough brain power to communicate coherently, even when it’s something that seems (and maybe IS) really simple. Better people with bigger brains (and asses that don’t fall asleep after sitting at the computer as many hours as I do) might be able to do it, but I’m not one of them. I have been known, however, to respond to email even when it’s many years old, so I hope you don’t plan on changing your email address.

There’s so much outdated & missing stuff here on my blog, I’m WAY overdue to redesign it, or at least spiff it up a little. So that’s what I’m working on today (and possibly tomorrow and ummm . . . whenever).

Because of the half-assed and amateurish ways I’m doing it, you might see little changes happening, shit being shifted/fucked up, incomplete crap, swearing in the sidebars, and more. Or less. For a while. Please bear with me.

If you have suggestions for things I should add/fix, please comment (already on the list are: link to “home” page, updated faq’s, link exchange form for fellow bloggers, slow-loading stuff like twitter in a sidebar to the RIGHT, etc.). I’m not really trying to do anything fancy at this point nor do I want to switch this particular blog to wordpress so that does limit me in many ways (categories/tags will continue to suck ass, etc.)

Thanks for your patience with me.

A post made by Trixie on her phone.

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