TastyTrixie.com

Archive for the ‘webwhore insights’ Category

Trixie’s Kindle. Trixie’s Smartphone. Trixie the robot, the snowflake, the shiny icon on all my computers.

Until our new computer man wiped one out and made it the snowflake named _____. So confusing . . . and if I get another horrible virus it will be _____ who’s infected and needs to have everything erased.

Who do I think I am, if all the living plastic is owned by Trixie? _____ doesn’t even have her own profile on GoodReads.

*****

Everybody who gets onto my to-fuck list does so by virtue of being exploitable by Trixie. _____ has to want to, too but I’m not sure how much.

It’s a new thing for me to even try to distinguish between mes.

*****

Just trying to raise awareness (of myself), not judging it.

I’ve got some awesomely cute pictures to post for members if/as soon as my main machine can be salvaged.

Last week my google search got all hijacked by adware that was SO SMART it disabled two anti-virus programs I used. I thought I had it all cleaned up with combofix but then I visited the same site where I think I got the first dose and it messed my machine up BUT GOOD. To the point where I asked the only person in town who I know for sure knows about our sites if she knew a good IT-type person we could trust to help us out at our house with our porn-laden computers.

SHE TOTALLY RECOMMENDED THE PERFECT PERSON!! In about two seconds flat after messaging her!! You could even have seen him on our lifecams if you’re a member and were watching.

He is trying to fix it the slow way (by backing everything up, getting rid of the crazy malware and updating all of my shit rather than wiping everything out and starting over, which would make more sense but I balked because I don’t want to have to reinstall all of the millions of pieces of software I use to be a webwhore: photo-editing, video-editing, content-processing & creation things, multiple hunks of cam software, project management & to-do software and like dozens of other things).

Sometimes bad shit happens for good reasons – I’m really grateful that being recognized in town by this one person years ago has only resulted in awesomeness and sometimes I just want to hug her super tight for her discretion and helpfulness.

Of course, my productivity has been down along with my main machine. I did edit and post a pretty funny/potentially sexy video for members and I did write a blog entry that I did not post because the formatting got all messed up, but processing some of my other porno is having to wait while a billion scans and fixes take place on my super-stuffed hard drive.

I’m pretty excited about having someone local help us with tech stuff who we’re comfortable with and I can talk to about Star Trek. I think our secret porno lives are as safe as they can be with him so we’re going to put our entire array of machines at his mercy to maintain and improve our network and systems, etc.

In the past four or five months I’ve endeavored to do many a good (or at least interesting) thing.

*Remember how I was doing that ninety day program? Which involved leaving the house and being around people every day? Well! We spontaneously decided to move in the middle of that, but since I’d made this goal I kept going even though it started to be overwhelming and piss me off. Because I’d made a commitment to doing it and thought it was pretty fucking simple and I should be able to do it. And it was supposed to be GOOD for me!

• WHAT HAPPENED: I failed to complete the ninety days. And then felt like a loser who couldn’t perform even the simplest of assignments. But really there was a lot of stuff going on and I should have QUIT when it ceased to be effective and started making me crazier. Instead I lost sight of the purpose and doggedly tried to stick to something just to try to feel like I could successfully finish something.

*We moved.

• THAT WAS HARD. But I’m so glad we did it. Kind of sucked up a month or more, though.

*Immediately after we finished moving I decided to apply for a residency thingy that every year I say I’m going to apply for and never do. I started the application before we decided to move so again put pressure on myself to FINISH something for once.

• WHAT HAPPENED: I told everybody I was busy and to leave me the fuck alone, spent hours working on it (in my head, at least) but I still didn’t finish it. The process was useful and interesting, though, and it forced me to ask two people I admire if I could put them down as references. Just having them say yes was pretty awesome and made me feel good. Another failure to finish something, but got a lot out of the process anyway.

*I socialized! In addition to the 90 day thing and the screwing around with a person I shouldn’t be screwing around with, over the past few months I’ve spent more time talking on the phone with people and hanging around with them than I have in YEARS. Still not as much socializing as “normal” people do, but I broke my carefully-written rules to limit interacting with people (particularly in times of stress, like a big MOVE) and took advantage of rare visits to WA from friends Fayette of the Cockettes, and Tara / ecowhore (formerly hobostripper). We also visited with fellow Washingtonian pals Heather Corinna and Blue, and Lightning Allie.

• ASSESSMENT: I wouldn’t trade the time I spent with these friends (or transient playmates) for a bigger sense of accomplishing more work or making more money. But I’m still not sure what quantity and frequency of socializing I can sustain over the long haul in my life and actually get things done AND have the amount of quiet time in solitude I like/need to have. Delia’s been picking up a lot of slack at home and with work to enable me putting my energy towards these social experiences. I also failed to spend enough quality time with my mom or my sister and her family during this time so I have a long way to go in achieving satisfactory balance between work, play, solitude, friendships and family. Ultimately I think a big part of the solution needs to come from being less emotionally involved or obligated-feeling when it comes to interacting with customers or FEELING like I owe special one-on-one attention to everybody who appreciates me. Because
  • I’m a failure at that anyway
  • it’s not a sustainable business model / there aren’t enough hours in the day
  • I want my work to be creating more, better and more creative, unique-to-me content and ways many people can experience it NOT overextending myself to individual people
  • My social life needs to be with people *I* choose (or am blood-bound to) and do not need to maintain a certain level of service towards in order to retain a customer
  • Basically? I need to respect my personal limitations more and establish better boundaries between my work life and my personal life. I thought I was happy with my work life BEING my personal life, but that’s actually pretty fucked up and needs to change. I still have a really difficult time in separating the two, as with the guy I screwed around with (I couldn’t tell if I was doing it just for fun or because I thought he’d be a good convenient stunt cock to make porn with; the answer is both, but I need to stop forcing everything in my life to do double duty; too often I’ve passed up good experiences because I couldn’t exploit them for work).
  • Needing to work fewer hours needs to be a higher priority / goal to work towards.
  • I want time and space to be physically intimate with more people. Both privately and for work.
  • I need to treat work more like a regular job than my entire reason for being and source of self-worth. Because sometimes I don’t do a good job or work breaks or people don’t like me and I need to still be worth something to myself even when that happens. And it’s happened a lot over the past year.
  • I need to be a better partner to Delia. Next to myself, she and my relationship with her is my highest priority in life.

• ALSO: I identified a few people I don’t want to feel so attached and obligated to and do NOT want to have boundary-hazy relationships with. People I need to distance myself from. I’m figuring out that I can continue to love people easily and with a certain level of emotional or spiritual generosity without being their friends or feeling I owe them something or even interacting with them at all. Does that kind of love have any real value? It does to me, and beyond that I need not give a shit. Nobody is entitled to my love, time or friendship. Essentially I need to be more selective about who gets inside me and how deeply I let them penetrate.

*I took non-adult pictures of a couple of beautiful local ladies for their website and ads (for their totally non-adult work). I was flattered that they asked me, but also really nervous about it and wished I hadn’t agreed to do it because it was yet another opportunity to waste time failing at something.

• THIS WAS HARD. We don’t have the equipment and I don’t have the expertise to do a great professional job at this. One of them cried when she saw the pictures because she looked (felt like she looked) fatter than she wanted to look (she’s crazy-gorgeous) and I suspect they both had really high expectations of me and my supposed ability to take flattering photos (they know we make porn). I learned a ton from this thought-provoking experience, with maybe the biggest thing being that I am really fucking brave to put so many raw naked imperfect images of my very average imperfect self on the internet. Most women in this country would be mortified and sink into a deep depression to be as exposed as I am online, even ones that are a billion five times hotter than I am. This reminds me that 1) I am awesome in some ways and 2) my work is valuable. There are tens of thousands of women who are more beautiful than I am and have bigger and/or perkier knockers than I do (or longer legs or flatter tummies or tastier feet) but very very few of them are equipped to do what I do for as many years as I have without wanting to cut their own throats and castrate all men. I’m not saying my work is intrinsically horrible and damaging, I’m saying that IT’S NOT SOMETHING THAT JUST ANYBODY WITH A VAG CAN DO.
• ALSO: I am more skilled and useful at listening, understanding and helping somebody with tearful gendery emotional body-image perceptual stuff and finding ways to put that stuff into healthy contexts than I am at being a photographer. I would rather spend time having (and becoming better at) those discussions with people than taking pictures of them. Right now neither is a priority for me, though; my priority is continuing to exploit my own high tolerance for raw exposure to get our credit cards paid off. And to steadfastly love myself while I do it. And to understand the very distinct difference between me and projected images of me.

*I did our 2010 taxes. Late again. But whatever.

• This takes me awhile, but it’s when I kind of assess our financial health and progress so for now it’s worth it for me to continue doing it myself. We’re making some progress in some ways even though our paysite income in 2011 is half of what it was when it needed to be twice as much to get ahead. So our sites need to make 400% what they’re making now to get anywhere financially. For a few years, anyway. OR we have to cam our asses off. Which is what Delia’s been doing to make up for the shortfall.

*We’re establishing better systems with the help of Lightning Allie. This includes being better organized with better plans for content production and processing, housework, debt reduction, and having some balance in our lives and figuring out what we want our lives to be like. We are no longer trying to do everything ourselves, just the two of us, or making decisions from within a weird bubble of isolation.

• RESULT: I feel a lot less anxious, a lot less overwhelmed, and like a lot more is possible by doing less myself / focusing on fewer things. And I’m enjoying contemplating and grappling with what I want those primary areas of focus to be. SEE ABOVE. And we’re getting ahead on shooting content. I feel more secure. I feel like I’m carrying much much less of a burden of memory and responsibility and obligation-to-follow-through because Allie is there to keep us on track and do a lot of the stuff that we really don’t need to be doing. I can drop balls without being scared I’ll lose them forever. It’s easier to get things done when you don’t have armfuls of bushels of balls.

Now you’re kind of caught up on tons of (the boring-to-others parts of?) my life lately. I don’t complete a lot of what I start, but when I’m okay with that I still wind up *doing* a lot. That’s pretty cool.

I started to write something else I’ve been spending time on but it felt too private to be conveyed in here in this format, so I deleted it for now.

Now that Delia and I are all moved into the new place, we’re working hard to catch up and get ahead on shooting content and editing it for members to enjoy. I’m super excited to have a bunch of cute nudie pics to go through and get ready for our fans to jack off to.

Last week we set aside a day to take a hike and shoot me outside in the woods. Once we got to the trailhead we started things off right with a lunch of bagels, cream cheese (and lactaid) and lox all alone on the mountainside. Delia had an everything-bagel plus onions and capers, and I kept things simple with just salt on my bagel. Then we began our walk and my panties started chafing so I decided to take them off. And not just the panties, but my pants too. I *highly* recommend bottomless hiking! Maybe with actual hiking boots would be better, though:

Trixie, hiking bottomless

At least I had very very good socks, though. PERFECT socks, I’d say (thank you, Shrdlu!). And a really old Soundgarden shirt to make the whole thing SO “Seattle” (even though we feel very removed from Seattle). Yes, I did refuse to wear a REAL backpack, choosing instead to be a princess with a very light load while Delia humped in everything heavy.

Delia TS hiking with deep cleavage.

She hates that picture, so tell her you love it so she won’t get mad at me for posting it!

Flashing my hairy bush on the trail with no pants on.

The first set of pictures we shot featured a nude nylon bodysuit AmberLily gifted me . . . I wound up getting it all wet! I’m working on this gallery to share first (tomorrow?):

Teaser of me hiding my big boobs in a nude nylon bodysuit in the woods.

We didn’t encounter a single person on the trail the whole five hours we were out there walking and shooting. It was so relaxing and magical, making me feel so so happy to have an excuse to call being alone outside in the forest “work”.

Anyway, I’m happy to have a bunch of pictures and some video now, but that means the work turns indoors to sitting at the computer editing all of it and getting it in presentable form so that’s mostly what I’ll be doing over the next week. But first I’m going to see if Delia will come help me close the window in the cabin; it’s stuck open and looks like today will be the first cool, grey day we’ve had in awhile.

Hope we won’t be the only ones enjoying the full moon tonight and the onset of Fall!

I’m on the 16th day of a 90 day thing. Not a diet or a cleanse or a new pharmaceutical regimen. No, not rehab either. But I think by the 90th day it might appear that way.

The reason I’m (vaguely) sharing this is to ask people to be as patient with me as I’m trying to be with myself instead of telling myself I don’t have time or that something good is taking too long or I’ve been healthy for four days so it’s time to go back to “normal” already! It’s definitely cutting into my routine because I’m going to a support group of sorts every single day, or twice in a day if I skip a day.

I told my sister about it and she could barely believe it: “Wow, that’s A LOT of leaving the house for you, Trixie. How’s that going for you?”

So yeah, as people who are close to me know, I don’t have a lot of stamina for interacting with people or even just being around them much (even though I *love* people!). Or even just leave the house much, as my sister pointed out. I’m able to do these meetings, though, because I know how long they last and there is a structure to each one and guidelines for behavior. And because I get so much out of going, even when some of the meetings start out and I’m like, “oh my god how the fuck am I going to sit through this?!?” and then every single time IT IS WORTH IT.

*****

The really big thing that’s happened in the past couple of weeks is that I’ve asked people for help. One is for help with the above stuff and the other person is for help with stuff YOU are interested in, stuff that has to do with our porn sites! This person is super DUPER awesome. We’re gradually going to tell you more about this person, and this person may tell you more and more, too. If you’re lucky! Most of the work she’s doing is behind the scenes, back-end stuff but it will free Delia and I up from having to do it (or in my case just sitting around being afraid of doing it. SO MUCH of it).

While two weeks in is too soon to get people (me included) looking around for grand results, I do already feel immensely relieved and things look (and feel) a lot simpler than they were in my agonizing, trying-to-do-it-myself, totally-confused-and-overwhelmed brain state. We’ve exhausted ourselves over the past ten years thinking that first we had to “get rich” to hire someone to help us, insanely getting the cart WAY before the horse. Delia’s been working her ass off on cam for the past few months so tell her “thank you” for making the money to help attract the work-time of this super duper new friend of ours! And thank you to all of you who buy shows with her and memberships from us!

We got back home around dinnertime tonight after Delia took us to a little cottage by the seashore to shoot pictures for our sites. It was magnificent! Except for this (boring) stuff:

Many things conspired against us getting much done or even going at all; our last running vehicle broke down in the middle of a downpour Saturday night, for example. Rather than get charged for the rental cottage and not even go, Delia decided to rent a car (harder than you might think when you live at least an hour away from “everything”; she had to take a long walk and get on an early bus to go pick it up the day we were to leave, then wait for pick-up time and make the trek back to our house, then drive to the coast).

When we finally got to the beach it was 8pm. Then when we started shooting the next day I realized I forgot to bring the usb cable for our camera OR the card reader and we don’t have enough compact flash cards to hold all of the content we planned to shoot. So another long drive to my favorite depressing coastal town (Aberdeen) and back, cutting into shooting time some more.

You’re going to hate me for complaining about this, but it was also TOO SUNNY at the beach for us to shoot as much as we wanted to outside; the forecast had been for more cloud cover so I thought we could count on some fog and grey skies to even things out. Then shooting time inside the cottage with natural light was limited by the loud-ass landscaping/yard dudes hanging out right in front of our windows.

So.

We actually had a wonderful time, but I feel like I can’t just say that because people already seem to think our jobs are way too easy or something. Like I can’t tell you we took long walks on the beach and stretched standing in the sand. Like I can’t tell you I read a whole book! Like I can’t tell you I WAS GLAD we had no phone reception and only spotty internet connectivity when an unsecured neighborhood network  opened up. Like I can’t tell you we didn’t turn on the tv even once while we were there, because when I’m away from working-at-home I don’t feel so much like I need my escapist drugs of food-and-boob-tube. Like I can’t tell you I enjoyed myself. Like I can’t tell you about this morning’s Belgian waffle with huckleberries and maple mascarpone. Like I can’t tell you that almost as soon as we got home and I read some stupid emails I felt like crying and have been picking a hole into my head ever since.

Because somehow I have to make sure to convey that I love my work while having to remind people that is what it is: WORK.

*****

Delia said the whole trip and all the expenses were worth it even if we had only gotten her beach shoot done. The pictures are BEAUTIFUL! And when most people look at them they won’t even realize she was inching into hypothermia.

She did a good job so people will think the weather was tropical with a pleasant sunset breeze. They will wish they were with her in that look-so-warm water so they could suck her and suck her and suck her some more. They will imagine going on these “vacations” with us. They will say we should shoot on the beach all the time, but to have better lighting (insert know-nothing photographic advice here) and get wetter, please.

Right now I’m not even bitching about what I *want* to be bitching about . . . or about how miserable I feel about being such a bitch and Delia having to be near it when she deserves much much better.

Being cold made her eyes sparkle and her nipples hard. Her eyes are brown so sunset shining on them looks like flecks of warm honey in dark melted caramel.

Did I mention her nipples were hard?

*****

When we pulled back into town tonight, our vehicle was fixed (for a little less than $500). Tomorrow we have to take the rental car back sooooooooo there’s some more time and money we’ll be frittering away. The good news is we’ll have an excuse to go to one of our favorite Vietnamese joints when we do. The bad news is we’ve already spent way too much money this week on food. BUT FUCK IT ANYWAY I NEED MY GREASY PORK DONG.

Another week come and nearly-gone with poor sales.

I should start telling happy, good-feeling lies and not care when people act entitled and think stupid things.

No no no . . . I should just work harder at focusing on the bright spots. And forgive myself when coming home to work is hard. And work harder! And care less. Let it just be what it is: work.

This is the first month of the tenth year. It would be shinier if I had cared less, I think. I am tired of showing people how much I care. It has gotten me nothing but respect. The kind that vanishes as soon as you “get lazy”. I am tired of paying with my freedom and getting nowhere.

Don’t worry guys . . . I’m just being an asshole. Tomorrow I’ll be all smiles!!

What could possibly be more entertaining and pathetic than a moody, emotionally-unpredictable webwhore? I’ll tell you what: a “MATURE” moody, emotionally-unpredictable webwhore!!

I totally have a grey hair in my pubes. No joke!

I look totally gross from the side, but from the front and the back I sometimes look STUNNING. <<<This should be my new slogan.

Here is what I have to say over on Tits and Sass about the new .XXX domain:

.XXX Makes Me .MAD

I haven’t decided yet whether or not we’ll try buy .XXX versions of our .COMs. I certainly don’t want to. And after writing such a critical post about the asshole extortionists trying to force us into it, I’m apprehensive about putting my sites in front of them for approval or giving them my personal information. But I’d be apprehensive about that anyway. And folks in the adult industry are pushing for all of us to boycott .XXX (but I for one don’t feel sorry for Kink.com with their 10,000 domains – they’re not just protecting their brand, they’re part of the problem with that kind of excessive domain hoarding). Besides, my content is hardly consistently “Triple-X” enough to warrant that kind of a stupid-ass rating.

Anyway, do check out TitsAndSass.com not just because I’ll be contributing every so often, but because it’s awesome! Here’s what it’s about:

Tits and Sass is a group blog run by sex workers who saw a void when it came to witty commentary on the public image of our industry. The ideas promoted about us in the public eye have an impact on the realities of our lives as sex workers every bit as strong as the law, so we’re not letting any more dead hooker or stripper bones jokes pass by without comment.

We come from different backgrounds and locations, work as strippers, porn performers, pro-dommes, prostitutes, and have a love of ripping apart stereotypes. This is our space for calling out pop culture fails, celebrating sex worker culture, and talking shop.

Dear BarackObama.com: I’m physically revolted by your “meet the president backstage!“, Michelle wants you to “sign Barack’s birthday card“, etc. spam.

GROSS.

Seriously, he’s the PRESIDENT.

I voted for him, that doesn’t mean I’m a panty-throwing groupie or histrionic fangirl gluing glitter to homemade sparkly-heart cards I send to him weekly with my diary entries attached.

*****

I think I should raise my pay-to-play rate on cam. I’m one of a small handful of English-speaking American blondes with hairy cunts on that site and stay busy at the standard $3.99 / 4.99 a minute rates. My bush is a TREASURE. What say ye, camgirls and fans?

*****

Note: I know, I still need to edit and post that Obama dildo video for members from way-back-when in which I type out a letter to him before sticking his likeness inside my great wet hope. Here are some free picture samples from the gallery:

Blue State Trixie & her Obama Dildo

I think hemorrhoids are totally patriotic, don’t you? Like, fuckin ALL AMERICAN!!

Anyway, what I’m TRYING to say is that maybe I *am* a fangirl . . . just stop embarrassing me with those weird emails inviting me to go on tour with him (FOR A PRICE) or whatever! It’s such a fucked-up pimp-like thing to do to the man. But thank you for reminding me that even the most powerful (according to the myths) man in the world is the subject of degrading and misleading marketing campaigns even worse than the ones webwhores are featured in.

Speaking of that, why is my current fave camsite promoting a big porn paysite on their front page? The worst part is the big porn paysite they’re promoting is known far and wide within the internet porn world as being unethical and fucked up – one that good webmasters refuse to promote because they own(ed?) a bunch of tube sites filled with stolen/pirated content. Oh well. Just one of those little compromises we deal with (trust me, THIS particular one is TINY compared to other shit that goes down in the camworld). At least I don’t have my wife writing to everyone in the fucking country telling people to sing me happy birthday or whatever. I *hate* that song!

*****

P. S. I really am blonde and hairy — the Obama gallery is from many moons ago.

All morning I’ve been thinking about fucking nineteen year old boys. Not any specific one, just a regular lineup of lithe little hard-muscled confused-yet-focused horny boys with motor hips and little curved dicks that don’t stop.

It’s because last night I ran across a video of Carol Cox with just the title of “Fucking a 19 Year Old”. I’m well aware of Carol Cox and that she fucks lots of people on her site and has lots of videos out there, but in my head it’s not something I crave to watch. Only by random surfing would I click and watch that, which is what makes it so out-of-the-blue to get so “inspired” by the awesomeness of it, just her smiling while this kid grunts his hips into her. No music, just those flesh-slapping fuck-sounds. No bullshit overproduction . . . it made it very voyeuristic, especially because I can imagine her husband Danny standing there behind the camera watching this kid who is decades younger than he is, fucking his wife.

We watched A Single Man the other night which had many beautiful young men in it and more than once I said out loud, Oh my god . . . I can’t even imagine being AROUND guys that age again. The chatter! The idealism! The way they think all these things they think and feel are NEW and mature and WOW!!

But somehow just watching Carol lying there having a torso of teen muscles pumping into her it made me realize it IS possible to have the cock without all of the talk. And I’m not a big old meanie, I probably would find a few of them charming in other ways, too.

Maybe all of the effort of lining such things up and getting hotel rooms and kids flaking out would be worth it — after all, it WOULD be a lot easier to shoot than us trying to shoot ourselves, which makes things more technical than we’d like them to be AND uses up both of our “talents” for only one piece of content. It really would make more sense for us to be regularly fucking other people for our sites.

I know, I keep saying it but keep hesitating. I don’t like all of the planning and rigmarole and relying-on-other-people involved in endeavors like that, especially living in an out-of-the-way place as we do; it’s really expensive and time consuming to get together with people away from home (and there’s no way we’re inviting strangers to our house to fuck us). Plus I am pretty sure (but not 100%) that Carol Cox and her husband actually do pay the guys featured in her videos – it’s a lot more professional than the way it’s presented in the fantasyland of the porn site (and I mean that in a GOOD way). We honestly can’t afford to pay other people for sex. OR waste time picking them up in bars (plus I hate bars, anyway).

But then I think how nice it would be to make something hot to look at just by lying there and enjoying some hormone-crazed fuck-machine of a teenager. Making him pull out and shoot big loads of spunk all over my tits. Thinking about this gives me very pleasant feelings.

Of course, I’d like to make them “audition” with a slightly-humiliating interview and videotaped jerk-off session first. I want to ask them questions and hear their voices shake while their impatient pricks twitch in their pants.

I look forward to the time when we have a stable of reliable boys (and/or GROWN men) like this to shoot with whenever we want to. I’m just not sure when, if ever, we’ll invest the time in finding and grooming them. Are you wondering why I’m more focused on shooting with men than women? Or why I’m emphasizing younger men as opposed to more age-appropriate lays? If so leave comments and maybe I’ll blog about it. Or just answer in the comments.

*****

God, I want someone to choke me. The RIGHT way. While I’m on top. Very few people have the touch or the right arm-length or understanding of how to not do it scary. It’s the pressure applied UP that I like to lean down into. I love the way it adds a tense time limit and everything slows down. Next time I find one who can do it I’m going to make him wear gloves, making it too difficult to get my pussy as far down on it as I suddenly want it to be. Because I’m held away. Just the tip.

*****

Delia has a hot semi-local who MIGHT shoot with her, but just the length of time of email back-and-forths and the guy’s lack of certainty about being on tape makes me think again that maybe it’s not worth the effort and bullshit. Of course I understand people’s reservations about being in porn, I just don’t have time to waste with their uncertainty or enough money to motivate them to treat it as more than just a fantasy they want to hot chat about late at night with no intention of following through. Oh wait, I asked Delia about that guy and apparently he’s actually ready to go, Delia’s just been waiting for the right time to schedule something. That’s exciting, right?

*****

Now I officially have two personal ads semi-written but not posted anywhere.