Sex Toy Spreadsheet (PICS)
Yesterday I catalogued our inventory of sex toys in a spreadsheet to try to keep track of which ones we have (and haven’t) shot with.
This is the Tantus Sport which I got from their closeout section in a clearance color; I’ve gotten a lot of spectacular (and low-priced silicone toys) from them. In fact, my favorites are ones they don’t make anymore.
We have over fifty sex toys, which is pretty awesome. Really a dream come true, I have to say. There have been others over the years we’ve thrown away because they were cheap/dangerous jelly or broke/got used-to-death.
Crazily, we have barely shot photos or videos with more than a handful of them. We use a lot of them during our live webcam shows so it seems like we get/have gotten a lot of use from them, but there aren’t actually a ton of pics or masturbation-with-toys videos on our sites. Pretty dumb, eh? Hence the spreadsheet.
The Tantus Goddess vibrating dildo (a gift from FurryGirl’s Sensual Vegan):
Lately I’ve been CRAVING new toys in categories we don’t have. Example: we don’t have any big “realistic” toys in our collection which seems like a SERIOUS oversight, especially considering how few of my close webwhore colleagues seem into those types of things and how TOTALLY into them I am (so it seems like a good niche for me to “fill”, hardy har har). Sure, I like the way our “non-representational” dildos FEEL, but I fucking love seeing chicks spreading themselves out with big fat fake pricks and I love the way realistic “dongs” look especially when there are good contrasting colors between the head and the shaft (hello, Black Thunder). I totally want more DONGS.
One of two Head O State Obama dildos we bought:
I can’t allow myself to purchase any more sex toys, though, until we’ve shot more with the ones we already have. Even though I totally want a pussy pump, more stainless steel, DEFINITELY more artistic stuff like carved wooden dildos, art glass, & unique molded silicone insertables. AND BIG DIRTY DICK-SHAPED DILDOS, like I already mentioned. Just can’t let myself get them. I’m not sure why we never got on the bus that has sex toy manufacturers constantly sending us unsolicited samples, but that’s just never happened to us, I’m sad to say.
I did get a couple of toys to review from the nice folks at Pleasure Me Now, but I stalled out after the glass dildo when I couldn’t bring myself to properly review the smart balls I was super excited about trying but was then unsuccessful at enjoying. Not that they asked me to only write positive reviews — they didn’t — but I felt like I hadn’t given those GIGANTIC FUCKING BALLS a fair shake and kept procrastinating on setting aside time to really give them a good trial. Sometimes my anal retentiveness is an obstacle to getting freebies.
One of the problems with our sex toy collection (and pretty much everything we buy to wear or use in photo shoots) is the constant struggle to decide between buying A LOT of cheap and semi-generic things on our limited budget or buying A FEW unique and really marvelous things . . . and not being able to buy anything else for months. Usually I wind up buying more for less rather than investing a bunch of money in a very-few expensive and spectacular items. We buy most of our clothes second-hand or on sale and same goes for the toys, so I rarely spend more than $40 on a single toy. Which is why I have zero “realistic” dildos, since all the good ones are in the $60-$90 range (and are made of questionable, possibly-hazardous and hard-to-clean materials making the investment even LESS sound since Delia and I might not be able to share them or get very many miles out of them or they’ll stain if we get lipstick on them, etc.). It doesn’t really make sense, since even with these frugal choices designed to give us (and our members) more variety I’m not even using all of the stuff AND I *still* use certain things OVER and OVER again (like my Hitachi Magic Wand).
It’s the whole dilemma of “do I buy five crappy Frederick’s of Hollywood corsets or one REAL corset?” And then the ultimate challenge of making use of everything, which is where I actually fall down on the job(s). But who wouldn’t after exhausting all those brain cells on making these tough shopping decisions? Most members don’t give a fuck anyway as long as you’re regularly posting something new and hot — the mileage you can get on one slimline vibe, a little hard work and a cheap pair of pantyhose is pretty remarkable, but in terms of standing out in a crowd with your promo materials and really presenting something SPECIAL that continues to be personally exciting sometimes you want things that are fancy, different, stylish, etc. Well, almost all the time I want those things. And never quite succeed in getting them. Which leaves me with something average which is tiresome.
Even more tiresome? All of this is leading into yet another blog entry about shopping for sexy stuff which I’ll try to post soon but I had no idea I was going to spend an hour writing THIS one.


















You should get on the bus! I totally recommend the vibereview people, and if you email them you can tell them I sent you. They actually send you bunches of really nice toys! And they want to send like 4-6 a month! And they never minded my honest reviews.