Curly Grass Ponytail

I’m so excited about the days getting longer! The world (from my perspective) is completely different than the world three months ago.

blonde milf Trixie with bangs

Getting ready to shoot my last picture set at 40.

It’s hard for me to believe I’ve experienced the seasons changing for forty years, and the changes seem MORE profound to me now rather than less. There’s nothing mundane to me about it. It is unbelievable and wonder-full.

naked with a grass ponytail outside

Naked with a curly grass ponytail.

One reason the changing of seasons might be more noticeable to me in recent years is that I live in a very different microclimate than where I spent the first parts of my life. We’ve been living in the rainshadow for the past twelve years rather than the valley below the Cascade foothills where I spent the first twenty years of my life or Tacoma where I lived in between then and here. It rains A LOT LESS here. It’s windier, drier and BRIGHTER here.

Mischievous blonde milf's cleavage

Feeling mischievous . . .

She Likes My Fluffy Bottom…

…and wants to jack off all over my toes.

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Sugar Plum Sex

This was a sweet fucking night. Camera-phone pics do not do it justice . . .

sugar plum stoner sex

High on a little sugar plum and some ASS FUCKING.

I wasn’t sure at the time if we were visible on the spycams, or if what we were doing was clear, but apparently at least one person watching could see AND suspected Delia’s dick was in my ass. :) Thanks, nugget!

Smoking makes me a lot more receptive and interested in having people go down on me. Normally I’m much more interested in being the person with her mouth on some genitals (and 69 is usually WAY too distracting/overstimulating for me), but when I’m high I’m prone to wanting to start out with Delia‘s mouth on my pussy or toes . . . or in this case, on all fours with my ass in the air telling her to lick my butthole with her naughty twitchy teasing tongue. She fucking LOVES it!

Walk the Week Before Spring

On the walk Delia and I took today, she took these pictures:

spring in the woods with giant feathery moss

more moss in the wet northwest

Trixie naked standing by a snag on a nurse log

Afterwards we had burgers and fries at our favorite place for that, eating in the WARM car. I think I might have even gotten a sunburn on my face.

While we were there I saw a woman get out of her car with her soft white belly peeking out where her flannel shirt opened up and I wanted to press my hands my cheek my own belly against it. So delicious.

Thigh Gap

Tasty Trixie's thigh gap

I’m standing funny like an alien creature who was just beamed down in a sunray in the picture above; my thighs actually DO touch / I do NOT have a “thigh gap” . . . at least, not anymore.

But I used to. Not because I *wanted* to, but because that’s the way I was built. With skinny fucking legs and arms. I guess I’m one of the “lucky” ones (or at least my peers were) by today’s standards of “you’re not real if you’re skinny” because I grew up thinking being thin was yucky, unattractive, weird, sickly, etc. I grew up being made fun of for it. And not just with friendly ribbing, but with actual SNEERS. Was it as bad as if I’d grown up “fat”? FUCK NO. I’m sure I wasn’t teased or sneered at as much as people of size. But being skinny wasn’t something I aspired to; it was a curse as far as I knew. My mom even took me all the way in to Children’s Orthopedic Hospital when I was in junior high to make sure I wasn’t malnourished or whatever, and made me start drinking weight-gain shakes.

I went to a small school – there were less than a hundred people in my graduating class. In a school that small, it’s pretty easy to be on one or more of the sports teams and actually get to play a lot . . . so the vast majority of your classmates are going to be ATHLETIC. Athletic bodies were the popular norm in my class, especially shorter, stockier bodies. The hardy 4-H types.

I was a teenager in the eighties. I admired all kinds of legs, including my own sometimes in spite of their relative shapelessness. There were no internet thinspo memes. I’d never heard of “thigh gap” and never fucking THOUGHT about it. Until I was maybe sixteen or seventeen, visiting one of my soccer-volleyball-basketball-softball-playing friends.

I must have been wearing a tiny pair of shorts and a halter, and I vividly remember standing on her family’s half-finished deck and her POINTING to my thighs and BURSTING into laughter: OH MY GOD YOUR THIGHS DON’T TOUCH!!

I was like, “what are you talking about?”

YOUR LEGS!! THEY GO ALL THE WAY UP WITHOUT EVER TOUCHING IN THE MIDDLE!!! LOOK!! PUT YOUR KNEES TOGETHER . . . LOOK!!

It was like she wished she could summon every normal person our age to stare at my freakish body.

I don’t remember now if that came before or after she pointed at my belly and laughed at IT, too, telling me how much I needed to do some situps.

To her mind, I think my body represented flaccid nerdy weakness. Not totally off the mark, either. Our boobs were pretty much exactly the same, though.

I don’t think I can say I ever experienced anything qualifying as “bullying”, so I’m not relating this story for anybody to feel sorry for me . . . just talking about legs and stuff. And how even just a little teasing can suck pretty bad. Fortunately I thought her standards of what is and isn’t attractive were extremely narrow and unsophisticated; I remember going to see Indecent Proposal with her when it came out. Of course I said I would have happily taken Robert Redford up on his offer, but she was like, “ewwww gross . . . he’s so old.” What a weirdo.

Do I want thigh gap again? FUCK NO. I do wonder if my experience in my body as a teenager would have been different if I’d have thought I’d been born with something other girls were trying to “achieve”, but I’m pretty sure it would have been mostly-unhealthy for me to grow up with the internet as it is today. I doubt I’d have wasted time trying to perfect my thigh gap, and would have instead opted for meeting “old” dudes who would pay to sniff my panties or something. Who knows, though. I’m just glad I survived those years and did so without the mass media deluge and worldwide pressures people have now.

*****

Want to get an idea of what I looked like as a teenager? JOIN MY SITE and visit this (non-nude, NOT pornographic or sexual) gallery of candid pictures from school dances, etc.

Another Nude Selfie

Already experiencing many rewards after my embarrassingly-inelegant yet much-needed exit from Girlfriend-land.

Healthy relaxing time alone, healthy relaxing time with others . . . and getting to freely celebrate surprise news Delia and I just got tonight of an upcoming visit with someone lovely who we have unfinished pleasurable business with, WITHOUT the looming dread of it sparking expressed jealousy and/or tense negotiations and emotional processing with someone else.

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It’s kind of like a do-over. AND WE ARE GOING TO DO IT OVER REALLY FUCKING GOOD!

Blue Light Boobies

I dreamt about playing (very happily) with the boobs of an old nemesis.

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Lesson(s) Learned

This day was a sad pathetic fucking relief.

I am so fucking lucky: another bullet dodged, but not without shaving some hair off in the process.

If I forget: remind me not to play with guns or loose cannons anymore. Remind me not to BE one.

If the little tastes of yuck I’ve gotten in life feel this gross to me, I don’t know how people deal with the big yucks. I guess they mostly don’t, which is how we wind up here.

Happy Night, Nightmare Night

lady in the cabin loft

Alone with rain pouring down outside in the middle of the night

nightmare pussy

Trying to distract myself with funny selfies after horrid nightmare.

The rain that sounded magical and comfortingly enveloping at 3 am turned into the soundtrack for a nightmare over the next two hours. In my sleep I could hear voices outside, knocking, scratching, beating all around and against and underneath my little shelter. I dreamt I woke up and knew the voices belonged to at least one person who was violently mad at me. I got my phone to try to get ready to call for help, but of course my phone was sluggish and unresponsive. And then his punishing arms reached through the window and I couldn’t get far enough away, they were getting longer and his hands on my neck and I couldn’t breathe and his head came through the window at me.

Then I woke up for real, gasping for air, SWEATING . . . trying to find the volume knob to turn off the surround-sound percussion instruments, but I couldn’t turn them off because it was the heavy rain on my metal roof and on the wood outside and against the skylight. And an animal scratching under the floor, under the toilet when I went pee in the dark. And a Navy jet flying low and fast and noisy because we live out here and can’t do anything to protect our freedom from military noise without being unpatriotic. And a cement-mixer or brush-cutter or street-cleaner humming and rumbling ominously blocks away.

And a bird at 6 am when I finally let myself go back to sleep.

*****

I wish I still had Klonopin to stop me from dreaming too much. :( Part of the reason I had this heavy dreaming last night is because I hadn’t had enough sleep the night before and was up too late, plus I didn’t smoke. I *did* take GABA which I rarely do, so not sure if that contributed to it, or if being potassium deficient alters the effects of GABA.

HOW BIG I AM NOT, IN OUR BED

We have the nicest bed ever in Seattle. It’s the best bed I’ve ever slept in, and definitely the fanciest Delia and I have ever owned. We got a super firm mattress. It feels ginormous to me.

snoopy-esque Trixie naked in big bed

Dreaming of doing the Snoopy dance?

We’ll have to revisit this in other pictures so you can see the entire bed to appreciate the scale of it relative to the scale of my human body.

Trixie's butt in huge king-sized bed

There is room for 57 of my butts in this huge bed!! Errr, 39? Umm let’s see math . . .

Day 3

naked with tampon string hanging out

OB string

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Hi! I’m Trixie!
Tasty Trixie blog Welcome to my blog and homemade porn site! I've been a proud WebWhore since the year 2000; I plan to make porn for the rest of my life! I hope you enjoy exploring my personal site whether it's getting to know me through my words or seeing me naked in my pictures, videos and webcams! -Trixie

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Trixie's bookshelf: read

The Sealed Letter
4 of 5 stars
Not as engrossing as Slammerkin, but interesting, informative and engaging as a fictionalized version of a true story exposing the lives of well-off women (and feminists and lesbians) in Victorian England.

It's hard to avoid comp...
tagged: 2010-consumption
Bottomfeeder: A Novel
4 of 5 stars
For some reason I *want* to only give this book three stars but that would be a lie; I didn't just "like it", I actually "REALLY liked it".

I'm not familiar with Fingerman's other work, but just being aware of...
tagged: 2010-consumption
The Lady Who Liked Clean Restrooms: The Chronicle of One of the Strangest Stories Ever to Be Rumoured About Around New York
3 of 5 stars
A cute little morbid trick of a book and so short I can say that I kind of enjoyed it. I appreciated the casual way considering whoring was treated, but am guessing it wasn't really casual and was supposed to illustrate just how far she had...
tagged: 2010-consumption
The Intuitionist
4 of 5 stars
I loved the atmosphere and tone of the book. I enjoy reading about characters who are socially isolated and/or solitary by choice. I also enjoy reading about the lives of machines especially when they're described with a touch of mysticism ...
tagged: 2010-consumption
Young Men in Spats
4 of 5 stars
I might have enjoyed this even more than the Wooster & Jeeves books. LOVED the last story, which was oddly disturbing (only mildly so, of course, which made it very surreal). Also appreciated the self-consciousness (again, MILD) regarding c...
tagged: 2010-consumption

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