TastyTrixie.com

Posts Tagged ‘flowers’

May Day marked the ninth anniversary of my TastyTrixie.com members-only area opening and the third year of commemorating the event with photos shot by a flowering fruit tree. I love that we were able to make them sort of retro-spooky and shadowy to contrast with everything so seemingly innocent and sunshine-y about being under an umbrella of white cherry blossoms:

Reading The Once and Future King Outside

The deep intellectual fantasy cleavage of a bookworm in the grass.

Like a lot of nerds, I grew up feeling sort of ashamed of loving books and wanting to spend as much time alone with them as I did. There’s still a shadow side associated with solitude-loving escapists who spend hours lost in stories, and of course people from my generation and earlier turned to them as a source of porno-stimuli. Our public librarian even ratted me out to my mom when I was in fourth grade for checking out books with explicit adult content.

Moody bookworm nestled into shadows with tales of King Arthur.

For this photo set I packed a book-picnic consisting of three very differently-told versions of Arthurian Legend: The Mists of Avalon (best ever), Le Morte d’Arthur (which I have almost no desire to read, but I love to smell its leather binding), and my seventh grade copy of The Once and Future King which I feel so sentimental about it almost makes me cry. Okay, it DOES make me cry.

What is betwixt mine legs? Tis a mystery of dark, hairy proportions!

I think I’m only now starting to come to terms with how much time I desire to spend with books and strive to actually make stories an important high-priority part of my life without feeling they’re just a guilty indulgence I don’t deserve and something my dad frittered away time and money on. I’m not a fast reader anymore now that I let my mind wander, I don’t retain much of what I read, and I think finishing books is overrated. But if I would have acknowledged and planned to make book-enjoyment as much of a priority as I should have back when I started webwhoring, I think I might be in a very humble but healthier and more-satisfying position than I am now.

Tickling my big natural breast with a cherry blossom.

Oh well. You can’t learn everything in books even when they give you the recipe for happiness. Some of us just have to get older and less stupid in small increments. Here’s to learning, regardless of the pace!

Happy late flower-blossoming May Day & anniversary to myself!

I haven’t seen a cloud in the sky for days, but there’s been plenty of fog around the edges of day and vision. Nothing but blue sky above me this afternoon, but the fog never lifted nearest the water so I could hear foghorns from the ships while I read on a blanket. Foghorns and super-chatty birds. Some even sounded like tiny monkeys.

In a WA Town that's also a Port, Thursday, July 29th, 18:25

I took these pictures right after it left the shore and infiltrated as cold wet smoke. I didn’t get a good photo of what it looks like in motion.

Droopy daisies against a summer fog in July

Miraculously, I didn’t hear a single car alarm, human voice, lawnmower, barking dog, or power tool the entire time. Our neighbor’s fat Siamese tomcat did come stalking through the crunchy grass, though. I think he was pretending not to see me while he played King of the Jungle.

I wonder whose motherfucking dog keeps leaving big-ass turds next to the deer pellets that smell good in the long dead trampled-down grass except for those damned big dog shits keeping them company. Your dog should not be shitting in our yard! It’s probably the dogs of our two neighbors who disturb the peace the most with their noisy construction and yard work. Keep your damned barking labrador shit in your own sacred fucking yard! They probably don’t want to shit in your yards because they can’t even tell its nature there with the grass shorn so short. GIVE IT A REST!!

Tired daisies in the wind. End of July.

But whatever. I shouldn’t take time to notice. I should be inside working instead of outside counting and smelling animal droppings.

Ever since I started doing pay-to-play camming again and my mom came over for a carb-filled visit I’ve been having a hard time accomplishing much. Switching gears is not my forte.

Tomorrow (Friday) and Saturday I’ll be camming again, though, so at least I have a partial agenda and won’t have to rack my brain so hard to figure out the best most wise most efficient use of my time.

I’ve been having a hard time in some respects, but having sex, cuddling, stretching and masturbating keep the edge off.

It’s weird that I haven’t posted more blog entries this month since I’m always blogging in my head. I’d like to have more of a space cushion (distance wise and time wise) in between my head and what I post, though. Actually that’s probably a lot of what’s going on with me lately; having had some days with family members and more interaction on cam, I’ve needed more space to make up for those days/hours of the gap being closed.

The question is whether or not my space cushion is sustainable. I like people and interacting and stuff, but I need a big giant lot of quiet time alone in my head; it takes me ridiculous amounts of time withdrawn from everyone except Delia to recover after social time. I don’t know if I’m ever going to operate at peak unless I retool my job description(s) to take that into consideration.

I’m not a huge fan of photos of the sunset, but I’m posting one anyway as a way to share just ONE beautiful thing we experienced today:

Sunset tonight (June 5th, 2010) from our backyard.

Today we took a walk in the same woods where we took Nico for her last forest walk. It’s the first time we’ve been there since then so it was hard not to think of her, but not necessarily unpleasant because of it. Delia identified birds by their calls:

Olive-Sided Flycatcher.

Orange-Crowned Warbler.

Swainson’s Thrush.

At home I asked her what the birds were in our closest tree:

Cedar Waxwings.

And then over a dozen of them rushed out of the tree right by us.

She’s identified them for me before, but I never remember any of it. I might be cultivating a mental block on purpose because I love having her tell me . . . I like asking her and having her answer. I like being almost completely ignorant and dipping into her body of knowledge and having it be too much for my brain to absorb. I like feeling overwhelmed by the world of birds and having their names sound as new as possible to me each time she pronounces them.

I’ve never been “into” birds (though I’m a big fan of chickens, crows, and owls — all for different reasons, of course — plus some other raptors) so paying any attention to them at all is sort of other-worldly because there are so many of them this time of year and most are so different from anything I remember noticing growing up. They’re kind of a revelation to me, so tiny and animated and enchanting. It’s kind of sickening how much they delight me in the same way I’m slightly grossed out by the way poetry and jazz have grown on me in the past year or so. Like, what the fuck is happening to me?!?

*****

In case you’re wondering what this poppy looked like when it opened, here you go (taken the morning after I took the other ones):

One of the poppy’s sepals thrown off:

Poppy's thick, fuzzy sepal thrown off onto the ground.

In bloom (with another bud below it):

Salmon-colored poppy in bloom.

Oh, and I’m in a much better mood than I was in that other post. I haven’t been getting my B-vitamin shots; I thought I was getting too much because I got headaches a couple of times after getting them (which is part of why I *get* those shots, to *prevent* headaches), so I’ve been taking a liquid form instead and I don’t think it’s quite doing the trick. Anyway, whatever the cause(s) I’ve been a little more anxious and moody lately, among other things, but overall am fine and am working on it. I’m going to take more of the liquid B’s and am refocusing on maintaining a stable blood sugar level and increasing my insulin sensitivity by eating fewer bad carbs. I also did a good job of taking care of myself and a headache on Thursday and Friday without feeling guilty about it because I knew how much work I’ve done this week and that I could afford to get some rest and work a few less hours on those days. Yay for keeping track of hours worked and stuff accomplished instead of only looking at the undone stuff on our long-ass to-do lists!!

*****

We do have porn stuff going on at home and in our members-only areas, I just haven’t been blogging about the sexy stuff as much as I should. But it’s all in there! You can check at TrixieAndFriends.com for some previews.