A Portrait of the Artist as …

A PORTRAIT OF THE HEADACHE AS A MIDDLE-AGED MAN:

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A PORTRAIT OF THE HEADACHE AS A MIDDLE-AGED MAN WITH BIG TITS:

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A PORTRAIT OF THE ARTIST AS A PINK-EYED CYCLOPS:

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I don’t even know if I could muster up the energy for a magical threesome with young Clive Owen and young Elvis.

I wouldn’t beat myself up over it though if I could just kick back and watch the two of them play jack-off buddies and suck each other off.

Reset Body Clock

I had a great restorative day yesterday, even if it was full of head ache. I kept climbing up into the loft to read and ending up falling asleep instead.

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Three hours of napping didn’t prevent us from getting back onto our preferred schedule of hitting the sack before midnight and waking up around 8. I actually climbed out of bed around 7:30 this morning, in time to see the moon against a deep blue dawn sky. And sunrise colors!

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So far today I’ve done a bunch of stuff including: drank a bunch of water, warmed up my body, STRETCHED, and Delia shot a set of softcore foot fetish pics of me along with this nudie pic and one for tomorrow:

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I have plenty of things to do to fill the remaining couple of hours in my work week, and then I hope to try hugging some books again, this time without falling asleep, and drinking more and more water and stretching more and more and spending some time outside.  AND STUFF!

Bumpy, Wet Night

From last night, aided by big lights shining out of our house after shooting an AWESOME picture set of Delia wearing a giant sparkling arachnid for Halloween:

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Are frogs attracted to light at night?

When I was running back and forth between house and cabin, I heard one plopping across the deck. I squatted down to watch it make progress away from me, the tiny gummy little body making lopsided leaps, slightly favoring one side of limbs over the other.

That is magic, like seeing raindrops fallen on the ground coalescing and coming to life, awkwardly learning to dance with big eyes and mouth set in grim determination. Practicing at night when nobody’s supposed to be watching.

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One of my favorite Madonna songs (I’m a “Lucky Star” kind of girl, but only when I’m dancing can I feel this free / At night I lock the doors, where no one else can see . . . you know what I mean):

I fucking LOVE how she chews that gum!

Anyway, Delia’s styling last night was pretty Like-A-Virgin-Whore sexy. Can you say FINGERLESS LEATHER GLOVE??? Singular?!?

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I’m having some hardcore mood swings these days. I love the night (see above) but the season change bringing us so much more of it is fucking with me. I’m cycling so fast I can’t remember the depression of three hours ago when I’m feeling manic or vice versa. I’m overeating. I’m not exercising. I’m COVERED in headaches.

The belief that it’s bedtime strikes at dumb times, like 4pm or even an hour after waking up. And then I wait a couple of hours and suddenly OH MY GOD!! THIS LIFE, I LOVE IT!! I LOVE YOU!! THIS IS AMAZING!!! WE SHOULD DO THIS *****ALL OF THE TIME**** LET’S STAY UP ALL NIGHT DOING THIS LIFE-LOVING STUFF!!!! I WOULD DANCE AND FUCK BUT MY SHIN SPLINTS HAVE HOBBLED ME!!!! BUT LET’S GO SHOPPING!!! I’M SO FUCKING GOOD AT SPENDING MONEY!!!!

Which can lead to questionable purchases . . . like the giant sparkling arachnid. But it turns out that decision to buy WAS PURE GENIUS!!!

I AM SUCH A GENIUS LIKE THIS!!! COME ON HONEY!!!! *****OF COURSE**** WE SHOULD BUY $200 WORTH OF SOCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Okay, it’s still last night as I write this and I need to take my benzos now because I’m scared to leave the cabin for fear I’ll step on a beautiful little frog and I can’t stop replaying OVER and OVER again in my head the different gooey ways that heartbreaking tragedy could play out under my foot.

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TRIXIE TRIVIA: the only Madonna movie I’ve ever watched is Truth or Dare. This note’s for you, Sab the Fab, to add an extra day to whenever we get to hang out again in order to FIX THIS!!!!

Wait. I lied. I did watch A League of Their Own and Evita, but not all of it. And Girl 6, but I don’t remember her in that. But none of the classic 80’s movies.

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