Happy Birthday / Spring Site Sale!

Today is my birthday! What do I want? Two things:

 

I already gave myself the first gift. Yesterday I sat at the computer for eleven hours tinkering with my site, and it felt GREAT! Here’s some of what I did:

  • added a sweet little video of me and my big boobs in a green lace teddy
  • moved outdated things off the members-only home page
  • revisited retro design elements I still love & want to revamp & incorporate into future designs
  • mocked up & posted a new temporary home page
    • with a bigger spot to feature new vlogs
    • vlog NOT using flash anymore
  • added links to THREE new super-unique friend sites added to our network in January that our members now have access to
  • recorded and posted a new vlog

 

It’s not perfect and feels temporary, but that’s (still) the great thing about internet publishing; no mistake or rush-job has to live on in perpetuity on your own sites, and there are always new (and old) opportunities to improve. Which is a great reminder to celebrate alongside SPRING TIME! So I did some spring cleaning to start out my 45th year in the world a little bit fresher. I turned 44 today, but I think that makes this upcoming year my 45th, right?

To celebrate my birthday and the spring equinox, I set up a sale for you! We’ll run it through this weekend and the first day of spring (March 20th):

Monthly Subscription

$15 off your first month
$9.95 for a whole month!
  •  
  • $9.95 for first month, rebilling at $17.95 each month after

  • Be my birthday buddy on a budget 😉

  •  
JOIN NOW

Big Bday Subscriptions

Gift a little extra (or a lot!)
$40 & up
  •  
  • 30-day non-rebilling memberships available at

  • $40 ♣ $60 ♣ $80 ♣ $99 ♣ $149 ♣ $199 ♣ $249 ♣ $499 ♣ $749 ♣ $969

  •  
JOIN NOW

When you join, you’ll have access to ALL of our sites: mine AND Delia’s plus seven more!

  • New updates
  • Archives going all the way back to 2002.
  • homemade in the Pacific Northwest …. so much green perfect for diving into springtime!

 

Whether you’re a member or not, thanks for visiting my blog and following our story over the years. It is a gift to me just that you keep coming back. :)

Next week I’ll start giving away books here AND share another 30-day-long FREE gift to myself with you!

Our Easter Surprise

20160326_160146x1200

Plastic eggs make sweet Easter tree-jewels! People make things humbly special in our town. Less like strip malls, more like old-fashioned home. And it is home to me, so of course I was here alone for Easter time, wandering around outside enjoying springtime.

A couple of days later Delia (my wife) came home to me and we had the BEST time. Since we’ve basically been living and working in different places for a couple of years — her in our Seattle studio, me in our out-here home — we’re finally getting the hang of taking REAL DAYS OFF TOGETHER (instead of everything overlapping with work as self-employed work-at-home webwhores). Taking real days off together makes me very happy.

It was a sunny day so we did one of my favorite together-things; took our car to the car wash & vacuumed it out! But first Delia told me to go out back and look around.

sweet Easter goodies

Some of my sweet favorites!

She got me bunny bubbles and other treats!

We did a bunch of errands and stopped at the self-serve farmstand bursting with daffodils and other flowers, and a book I’ve been wanting to read for a long time (Oryx and Crake) was in the free book box.

20160329_122047

20160329_121946

20160329_122136

For dinner we drove to our favorite place to get burgers in the next town over. We love sitting in our car to eat, especially when the sky is so blue and the temperature promisingly warm without being hotter than blazes.

20160329_164309

Usually part of our burger date includes stopping on the way home at the lot full of used cars, trucks, boats, trailers and RV’s. We like to just walk around and look at what’s there. But the lot was pretty empty and we were tired and ready to get home so Delia decisively declined when I asked if she wanted to do the usual.

So we drove straight home stopping only for some groceries.

And when we were less than a mile from home … our car stopped running.

Pulled over on the side of the road, she tried to get it to start again. She checked a couple of things under the hood, couldn’t find anything obvious wrong, and wanted to stay and work on it … but I wanted to walk home so I could pee and not worry about it for awhile, and come back with clearer heads. I had to talk her into that part (it’s always interesting when Delia is a: really decisive/not super flexible feeling, and/or b: anxious … because it’s rare she’s either of those things and I kind of enjoy the way our roles change when that happens).

The whole time Delia & I have been together we’ve only driven old &/or beater cars that were given to us for free or sold to us for cheap; as a result we have enough practice with cars breaking down (and Delia is often able to fix them herself or at least knows enough about what’s wrong to make good decisions about paying for repairs). At this point it’s one of the few things that doesn’t give me the kind of anxiety attack you’d expect and just sort of makes me feel grateful because so far it’s never put us in a super dangerous situation, and this car especially has managed to break down maybe half a dozen times but always delivers us VERY CLOSE TO HOME or right where we can get help without causing a traffic nightmare before it gives up, even when we’ve been on long treks a hundred+ miles away.

We came back later as it grew dark and she tried and tried a bunch of things. But honestly my mind was pretty much made up to retire this car. There were a bunch of problems with it, including the transmission, and I didn’t want to worry about it breaking down anymore. It has served us really well. It was a relief and a sign to me when it broke down this time. But Delia felt a bit stressed out about it.

The role reversal of her overthinking and spinning her wheels while I am calm and at peace with a decision makes me feel a lot of tenderness for her, and gratitude for the ways we balance each other out. The moments when I am not crazy and struggling with her soothing me are FEW, so it’s a relief when *I* am sure, and *I* am calm.

20160329_204502

 

All of these years together and the more time that passes, the more I feel like everything’s going to be okay. And that everything is so much BETTER than okay right now.

The Shortest Day in Seattle

Seattle, solstice, 13:07

A photo posted by Trixie Fontaine (@tastytrixie) on

2013.

Our first winter with our Seattle apartment, living in two places.

I spent winter solstice there, alone with the camera, and did one of my favorite things: I just WALKED. Under the viaduct — always a fixture in my idea of Seattle — knowing it will be gone. South towards where my dad worked at Western Union in the seventies, where I loved all of that grey old-fashioned industry that always looked too old and tired to bustle and has never ever looked like it should last.

I wonder how it will all crumble, and hope I’m not there when it does. In the meantime I love/hate it, just like this.

alaskan way viaduct

The portable office-shelters tucked in between concrete pillars and under ramps and roads remind me of model train layouts with little lights glowing inside.

DSC_3722

Seattle solstice sleeping bag

I felt at home — comfortable like I rarely feel in the city — with tiny little cold drops of water accumulating on my face and hands and the plastic baggie I had over the camera.

On the way back “home” I stopped for Yankee pot roast and mashed potatoes and gravy somewhere I swore to myself I would never patronize. I asked the host to seat me at their LEAST FESTIVE TABLE. He understood.

When I got back, dozens of drunk Santas were milling around and I wished I had a budget to proposition a few of them to make porn.

Merriment with Santa!

greeting Santa in modest white nightgown

dance-for-santa

Leggy on Santa's lap

flashing my beaver at Santa

Spreading my legs for Santa

Santa licks my nipple

split tail spread by Santa

squeezed & fondled by Santa

JOIN NOW for the full-sized gallery! Almost 150 photos & video to come :)

Many many thanks to my wife, DeliaTS, for getting everything ready for this shoot (and taking the pictures, of course) and to our new bearded friend, Goat (and his pipes and suspenders and jolly goodwill) who is an even more perfect Pacific Northwestern version of Santa than I could have dreamed up. This is honestly one of my favorite things we’ve ever done for my site, making this shoot a better present than I hoped for or could have bought myself for holiday-time!

Pin It on Pinterest