Just after 5:30 (17:30) last night I noticed that the light in our stairwell looked magical, so we took some camera phone pictures just to see how it might play on us for a real shoot:
Posing in the lovely natural light in my schlubby house duds.
One of the good things about doing a little test like this when you’re not dressed up and ready to go is being reminded “don’t make the leg closest to the strong light source cast a shadow on your other leg, making you look stumpy”:
Naked, natural . . . unshaven.
It helps so much to understand the dimensions and dynamics of a spot before you start shooting something special, otherwise you might just eyeball it and sketch out magic in your mind that won’t actually work in real life. Like Delia is too tall to really stand up there and be IN the light . . . but that’s okay because she’ll have a beautiful halo from the light behind her and on her side. And I can’t be on the top step/tiny landing against the wall either . . . or I will crack the back of my head on that protruding corner detail (don’t worry; it didn’t hurt . . . much).
These are the benefits of living in the spaces where you shoot (especially when where you live is beautiful). And obviously we have to plan for the right time of a cloudless day. And uhhhhh . . . . clean up (one of the disadvantages of shooting where you live). It’s nice to shoot from varying distances instead of everything being like it was shot in a room in a studio by a lazy stationary photographer; when we move the table out of the way it will make people who look at the pictures imagine walking into and across that space between the eye of the camera and one of us on the stairs . . . into the light coming from a mystery around the corner.
As a sensualist, the location — the details of a setting and the stories it conjures — significantly raises the value and potency of “porn” for me. And distracting details really annoy me. Like that ugly plain white motherfucking light switchplate. Somewhere we have some beautiful handmade maple leaf switchplates . . . And why do we still have that dried ear of corn in that wall-niche? Attending to other details . . .
I’d actually be less distracted by a pile of dirty clothes on the floor and a Benny Hill garden gnome in the foreground than that white plastic lightswitch. Actually, that’s a really good idea . . . do you know where I can obtain a mischievous Benny Hill garden statue?
I can actually stand to face the sun after my first good night of sleep in (what feels like) weeks:
Thank you, omegas, taurine, an indica strain . . . and Delia sleeping next to me.
I woke up at seven (unusually early for us) so we could shoot some pictures of me in a certain spot before the sun became too harsh and blinding, but it was already too late by the time I got ready.
I have some pretty nightgowns from Nugget I still haven’t shot in, and totally want to be able to wear (and fuck in them):
We decided to abandon the spot I wanted to shoot in, and settled into a spot with more even light. I also wore these see-through white panties . . . and peed in them for an HD video:
This is where we originally planned to shoot (look at my belly dimple!):
I liked the way the weathered wood looks with the white daisies, but I’m glad it didn’t work out because where we wound up (outside of the cabin again) was prettier and more versatile.
Sorry I didn’t shoot or post a nudie pic yesterday. I just put something up (me in thigh high socks, and otherwise naked) to fill yesterday’s slot.
Since I started getting naked online in the year 2000, my weight has ranged between around 103 pounds and now somewhere over 135 pounds (I’m only guessing; we don’t have a scale . . . it’s possible I’m closer to 140 which is a lot for my short-and-small frame). During that entire time I have always loved looking at my legs. Of course it helps that Delia‘s been my photographer for most of those years and knows how to make me look taller and obeys my commands! 😉 Looking at the pictures she took of me today or those ones from last year or ones from when I was skinny and going to Pilates . . . I love all of the shapes. I’m very aroused and enchanted by legs and legwear, so I’m especially grateful for the way my legs are built.
From just over a month ago:
I looked for some skinny-leg pics from a decade ago to put up here for comparison, but then I got sucked into looking at old pictures and videos of us which stirred up a variety of observations, memories and epiphanies. One of them being that my legs were almost too fucking skinny and my body looked too small for my head.
Holy fuck, skinny me in 2002:
Delving into old pics of myself reminds me that: AGE AND/OR BODY SIZE DO NOT DETERMINE/PRESCRIBE HOW ATTRACTIVE AND/OR HEALTHY YOU ARE.
I took my short chubby forty year-old self down to the food cart today and felt more attractive and sexy than I would have ten years ago. And I will be happy but NOT surprised if I feel more attractive and healthy in twenty years at sixty than I do right now.
There are many methods I use to prevent, stave off, and/or soften the pain of migraines.
I’ve only used this method two or three (well . . . at most, like five) times to deal with headache pain. Tonight is one of those rare nights:
Sidenote: I love this picture, but saw something funny after I stared at it for a while; look how ludicrously emaciated, amputated and stunted my arm looks compared to the potato-shaped width-getting-wider thickness of my body! I’m so glad I just looked at the new Victoria’s Secret catalog and after picking my favorite photo with plans to use it as thinspiration*** next to dinner (chili-mac, YEAH!), I noticed how BIZARRE the model looks with 63-year old skinny-ass arms and a weird Alien/Cardassian neck and face and had to close it because it made me want to eat more, not less. And then I looked through it again trying to find a healthier-looking sort and realized FOR SURE they are ALL grotesquely skinny and I would rather look more like myself than them plus just noticed bad poses and weird newsprint dehydrated-fruit skin-tones so . . . people and pictures of them (especially if they’re in Victoria’s Secret) are all weird-looking if you stare at them too long, especially when you’ve become aware to a certain extent of composition and lines and how funny they can be on accident when you put the two (people and pictures) together. Also, it’s majorly the rimlight on my arm making it look skinny by virtually/visually erasing one-fifth of it.
Oh my god, double italics!! Am I totally babbling? Is this making any sense to you? Am I paranoid? Is this way more philosophical than I usually am?
Seriously dudes, this contemplative-looking naked smoke is for my HEADACHE, because it’s obviously not improving my blogging:
I’m very thankful for the boyfriend who brought-and-left the medicinals and for Delia for taking these beautiful snapshots. I mean, I’m thankful for them for more than those reasons, but those are the relevant points for today so only going to mention those ones.
Delia took some other pretty snaps of me before/in addition to these smoky ones. I think I’ll post them on my next day off.
Note: ANYBODY’S body would look funny at this angle when sitting on a very LOW stool less than a foot above the ground!
ANOTHER NOTE: I do NOT condone the ill/un-informed, un-(personally)-moderated use of any drugs, including this one, caffeine, alcohol, prescription meds, thrill-seeking, simple sugars, etc. I believe all of these drugs can (and often do) lead to devastating (or at least crippling) problems even when consumed at smaller-than-serving-size / suggested / prescribed doses. I mean, look how little I smoked, yet the ill-effects on this blog entry are SEVERE. Why am I ruining perfectly-lovely nudie-pics with all of this blather? OMG.
But hey, I was totally drug-free when I wrote this hideous little hot-chat-style confession after this (the ****censored**** word is “animals”):
Tabloid sex(y) pics**** are a huge turn-on/erotic trigger for me in general, I think because my grandparents got the Enquirer every week while I was growing up so it was early masturbation fodder and probably contributed to my voyeurism fetish.
***“Thinspiration” is also not something I condone or use regularly myself, and may more often lead to tragedies than any of the other addictive things I mentioned above. Seriously, I’ve never even done that before today/this was the first time!
**** and ***** And I don’t condone or regularly use tabloids or voyeurism (legal or otherwise outside of consensual role-plays and fictional depictions).
Jesus fucking CHRIST****** it’s so hard to be a responsible blogger and pornographer / webwhore!
******I don’t condone blah blah blah!!! Blah blah blah MORE TRAGEDIES!!!!!!!