Happy New Year!

full moon happy new year

I’m stoked about the new year!

Normally the New Year holidays depress me and make me feel (even more) weird & alienated from “normal” people, but the longer Delia and I are together and the more I get comfortable with my introversion, the happier this holiday is for me. This is the second year I’ve used the Dragontree Dreambook & Planner (I get the PDF version and print it out myself at home). I love the new year invitation to spend time planning, focusing on my own values and visions and wants.

While I don’t feel like I’m where I “should” be at this age, I’m happy that I keep making (crooked, jaggedy, sometimes backsliding) progress. The gift of this past crazy-ass year in the states has been confirmation beyond any doubt that people — ALL people, just about — are fucking crazy.

naked new year reflection

We can comfort ourselves into abandoning our best selves or make ourselves MORE crazy by measuring ourselves against each other: our sanity, our normalcy, our financial success and accomplishments, our appearances, our ways of expressing ourselves, our guilt and complicity, our contributions and our ability to fit in and obtain approval from each other. 2017 insisted it’s best to set that yardstick of “normal” on FIRE and live by our own values, guided by something higher and brighter and rooted deeper and stronger into the earth and the best purest efforts of humankind since we arrived here. And if that is too much, it may be just as wise to dance and fuck and scream and give up everything BUT embracing the insanity. And reading all the books with all the answers and timeless questions frustrated wise folk have been trying to give and ask one another and the rest of us since the beginning of time.

It’s absurd how much we care and how much we kid ourselves. But fuck it: I’m here, I’m alive and I want to be fully human: that’s what I’ve been given. So I took off my clothes and stood outside at midnight, laughing at my reflection in light and shadows both natural and unnatural. Believing in my sanity and rightness more than all the fireworks bombing the neighborhood. More than all the flying champagne corks in the whole wide world.

Maybe my plan for 2018 is to step up naked in the outside-air to every door and mirror on my path, day or night, winter spring summer fall. Confident in the knowledge — not a guess or suspicion, but the CERTAINTY — I am behaving as best a sensible rational fleshy LIVING human can. I hope you have the freedom and resources to do the same (or whatever is best for YOU in your life) this year!

We’re currently offering HALF-OFF site memberships to help you beat the winter blues my members-only area is included with Delia’s

Seven Spring B’s

::Not to be confused with spring bullshit::

After staying up working and masturbating well past sunup last “night”, I woke up after four hours to SUNSHINE. The backyard beckoned more than going back to bed did so I got up, put the kettle on, and made a nest out there.

backyard blessings

Enjoying birdsong, butterflies & bumblebees while eating my breakfast in a sleeping bag outside.

It doesn’t get much better than this, so instead of sitting inside at the computer blogging I made sure to take some pictures of my boobs for you, which I hope will make my super-blessed cheesy alliteration love more tolerable for you! Chances are if you’re at a site made by someone who named herself TastyTrixie you’re already expecting that. 😉


soft little belly & boobs

B is also for BELLY!

big natural boobs

Big Naturals

bright sun on big boobs

Bright Sun & Big Boobs

bumpy areolas

Big & Bumpy Areolas

If boobs under a bright blue sky make you happy, keep coming back! And join my wife’s site for more explicit photos and videos shot by us in the great outdoors. :)

Delia’s Home!

Pretty much just super happy to be with Delia after her Vegas trip. I didn’t go with her because she was celebrating her birthday by going to a bunch of Phish shows, and with my fear of flying and all of the work I need to do it just wasn’t worth the torture.

The biggest things we worked on today:

  1. selecting and ordering a new computer for her / our Seattle studio with a quad core processor that we hope will be up to the challenge of processing big HD videos. When we shoot outdoors, there is SO MUCH DATA with all of the lush detail of the woods, for example, that the machines we have just can’t keep up.
  2. proofreading/editing and correcting some typos and stuff in the DeliaTS.com members-only area, and discussing other improvements to make (updating the lists of favorite/recommended videos and picture sets, creating fancier templates/stylesheets for her galleries and videos, updating the “new member orientation” which I’ve been working on, etc.).
  3. just spending time together! I’m so happy just to be able to walk around with her to go get something to eat. Nothing fancy . . . just . . . walking. And eating in a 90% empty restaurant with shiny sports propaganda stuff on the TV. Pho and deep fried goodies and dipping sauce. It was like as soon as I saw my wife at the airport last night, my appetite came back.

I also have been considering how I could have some of my most-desired beautiful homemade porn content dreams come to life . . . without me being literally visible in all of them at all, and that being actually more fulfilling and wonderful for me.

Whether I get to shoot and share any of that or not, I’m appreciative and kind of dumbstruck by the amount of change and growth I’ve been experiencing every single day by taking the time to really FEEL sad or otherwise challenging feelings, try to LET GO of my attachments and will (while also honoring myself) and enjoy reality, and step back to see the range of beautiful possibilities available to us.

I’ve also been working on submitting to my need for a lot more structure and PAPER/WRITTEN tools and investments of time regarding planning, goal-setting, and managing my time and lots (and by lots I mean FUCK TONS) of relatively-complex projects. One of the hard parts of that is being forced to accept that there are a lot of projects and ideas I’m very attached to that I will never ever have time to do or see to fruition. When we were overworking ourselves just to do the basics of running all of our sites to meet porn site standards I could blame that for not having the freedom to excel or do or learn new things. Now that I’ve untied myself from that somewhat, I feel a lot of pressure and fear because if I don’t succeed at anything now, it will just be because I fucking suck.

I used to know what I needed to do to fill more hours in the week than I had, and there was no time for the extra parts of what I wanted to do. Now I need to select things I want to do that best exploit what is unique about me and us, and make sure I’m proud of them according to my own standards AND that I can make everything PAY OFF. Also, there’s still a ton of things I “need” to do just to make what we already have that’s been working somewhat to pay off. Like just maximize the potential of DeliaTS.com.  Obviously I am still super bound to many many attachments.

High Def video porn in WA woods

Images above from Delia’s “Wanking in the Woods” video: a perfect example of our need for better machines to do our jobs. We haven’t shot outside nearly as much in the past year as in years past, and feel sad about it. If we’re going to, though, and provide HUGE (1440×1080 pixels) HD videos for people to enjoy, our machines need to be able to render all of that.

If you look at the images above, they are not the same as some porn shot in a studio where there’s a white or one-color background; all of that detail and color and shading means more DATA. Add to that the trickiness of shooting in natural light from multiple angles with sun going in and out AND the difficulty of shooting with tons of beautiful green . . . making your skin look green, the need for color and exposure corrections means you need to do more in the editing process. With Delia’s working machine she has now, it just couldn’t handle processing the corrections for the big WMV HD version. You can still enjoy the smaller (720×400) WMV video and the MP4 versions (1280×720 HD and 720×400 standard def) though by becoming a member! Which also helps us pay for stuff like the computers we just bought and paying Uncle Sam and I hope some outdoor shooting excursions!


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